Just had a pretty damn fine bbq
Huzzah! How’s your weekend?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 18:04, archived)

Bit cold for a bbq innit?
Anyway, I'm fine. Binge watching DEVILS on Sky One. Day off tomorrow hurrah. Lie in finally.
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 18:18, archived)

Warm enough, warm enough....

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 22:20, archived)

Waiting at the train station
Watching a little field mouse
( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 18:58, archived)

What it doing?

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 19:29, archived)

It kept darting out from behind a bench
And eating the crisps that somebody had dropped on the platform
( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 21:46, archived)

Awwww

( Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 22:58, archived)

I've managed to drink solidly from 7 this morning without anyone noticing.
Just done my wife's hair highlights and apparently I did an amazing job. Don't really see the point in being sober any more, my drunken self seems to be functioning at a reasonably high level.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 19:31, archived)

So, do we still trust you with a needle?

(dribble, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 19:54, archived)

I'd trust myself with a needle. To be honest the consequences of putting a needle into the wrong place are relatively minor compared to some of the shit that can go wrong if your doctor doesn't have their wits about them.
I feel that alcohol is a positive influence though, it gives me the confidence to go with my gut instinct which is nearly always right.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:04, archived)

Doctors always had bottles of booze in their office when I was a kid , sometimes recanted

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:09, archived)

Yes we still do. Usually stuff I've been given for Christmas for being such an excellent doctor

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:15, archived)

I'm an excellent patient as I wint bother you till its deadly

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:38, archived)

If you can teeter on the edge of any addiction you can live a happy life

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:04, archived)

Yes, I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't ever been dependent on mind altering substances.
In the words of Alfred Lord Tennyson, "'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:07, archived)

My favourite medical oxymoron is amphetamines. We used them to stay awake and alert for years. Then we banned them. Now the fix adhd

(Nicki Minaj, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:37, archived)

Oxymoron is fine but have you tried dihydromoron?
Because that shit is WILD, yo.
( Mr. Tea MUFFSNOT for whom the belm tolls, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 22:59, archived)

alright
youtu.be/zMsnnH7Tu34
(evening cheesy arse grease innit, Sat 20 Feb 2021, 20:31, archived)