I removed the tags from my matresses
Come at me
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 20:44, archived)

god damn it!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 3 May 2021, 20:46, archived)

*puts bucket on head*
and did those feet in ancient times walked across England's mountains green and was the holy Lamb of God on England's pleasant pastures seen
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 3 May 2021, 20:48, archived)

Now, I am the god!
(of soft furnishings)
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 20:58, archived)

Though I'm nigh invulnerable,
my left arm is now nigh immobile. I'm going to have to reschedule my superhero origin story. I plan to get solidly stoned and paracetamoled for the next 2 days.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:07, archived)

Those are for your own safety and your mattresses will probably catch fire without them, just saying

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:07, archived)

They're basically pins for the grenade that is your mattress.
Pretty sure there's a chapter on it in the Anarchist's Cookbook.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:09, archived)

There should be, I know that.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:14, archived)

Actually can I just check, this wasn’t an inaccurate autocorrection of “mistresses” was it?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:08, archived)