I'm patiently awaiting this alarm to go off at 3pm

( $$ ✅, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:01, archived)

I have a cunning plan
To rain the nukes down at this time
NATO bollox
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:27, archived)

This is a test of Ham Urgency Alerts, a new b3ta service that will warn you if there are discounted meat products nearby.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:34, archived)

That’s armageddon sorted!

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:43, archived)

Probably the shittest King novel I ever had the misfortune to read
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:37, archived)

Not quite
www.amazon.co.uk/Guilty-Jonathan-King/dp/0956417167
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:43, archived)

Poor ol Stevie can't hit it out of the park every time

( $$ ✅, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 14:27, archived)

Go on, Steve. Give it some yer cunt!

( $$ ✅, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 14:27, archived)

It's been decades since I read Michael Crichton's Prey but I came away from that one as well with a horrid aftertaste of "Oh no, technology!"

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 14:52, archived)

You've clearly never read Rose Madder or Gerald's game

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:29, archived)

Beep beep
Sos early :(
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 14:06, archived)

Vaccine microchip: ACTIVATED

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:00, archived)

Christ that was loud!
Braaaaiinss, I mean
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:01, archived)

Mine wasn't, about the same volume as a normal ring

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:02, archived)

My phone was on silent, maybe they make it play at max volume

lol ‘ring’
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:06, archived)

I've turned them off now

( $$ ✅, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:05, archived)