With his hand problems it'll be 20 attempts

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 14:39, archived)

He should kill Boris with his bare hands, and refer to it as a "royal sausaging"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 14:53, archived)

They hold Boris down while Charles applies the sausage-like appendages to his cheeks.
Charles winces then smiles as the tips split with a pop! and the oozing matter inside begins to fuse with Johnson's horrified gasping features
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:02, archived)

Certainly! Here's a simple ASCII art representation of Boris Johnson

    __...--~~~~~-._   _.-~~~~~--...__
   //     BORIS    `V'        \\   \\
  //`PRIME MINISTER' |           \\   \\
 // /              |       ;     \\   \\
_/_______________!  `\_______) )   ))  )
   `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\    '_   /'    (  ( (
                   /~   .   `~~'      \  \\
                  /`-._ .--' /'-.     |  |
                  `-._`-..-'____.''   |  |
                       `-.__/-/       |__|
                          / /       //  /
                         / /       /'  /
                        / /       /  /
                       / /       /  /
                       \ \      /  /
                        `.\    /  /
                           \\/\/ /
                            `~~~'

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:10, archived)

This wins the compo

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:39, archived)

Is Carrie Johnson involved?
I have never heard her speak the rubber faced strange person
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:11, archived)

Have you ever seen Carrie Johnson and Camilla pictured together? Like, ever?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:13, archived)

Or Fergie

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:36, archived)

I think you need to have a chin to be able to speak

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:32, archived)

Genuine lol

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:35, archived)

Most people's faces have something at the bottom

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:37, archived)

A fashionable dress

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:39, archived)

With a bump in it, yet again

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:41, archived)

Cushion thief no doubt

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:45, archived)

She is no Cherie Blair

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:49, archived)

A £100,000 cushion from the Downing St flat

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 15:51, archived)

well of course we took them all, it's a matching set

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 15 Jun 2023, 16:01, archived)