As usual, the Daily Star is out of this world - their lead story is on China's lunar ambitions.
The paper writes that the country is "plotting" to mine the moon in a bid to create "cosmic nuclear weapons", in a warning from an "boffin" at the UK's Space Command.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 9:15, archived)

an boffin

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 3 Jul 2023, 9:15, archived)

Not my words, Carol.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 9:17, archived)

"COSMIC NUCLEAR WEAPONS"

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 10:19, archived)

Daily Star Wars, more like!!

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 10:29, archived)

Late stage capitalism is great

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 10:44, archived)

If there's something valuable in them thar hills it is clearly the USA's property, silly Chinese

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 10:51, archived)

Do those flags mean nothing to you?

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 10:54, archived)

"We haven't fucked the planet for money enough, fuck its vital satellite too!"

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 11:04, archived)

Vital?
Wind, tides and a predictable orbit are overrated anyway
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 11:28, archived)

Destroy it before it falls into commie hands!

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 11:29, archived)

b3ta, I mean

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 11:30, archived)

Guess what? Ground-up moon rocks are pure poison.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 9:16, archived)

I think you mean 'artificially flavored' Pop Rocks
Everyone knows the moon is made of cheese
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 11:04, archived)