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How does one masturbate a verandah?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 Jul 2023, 23:01, archived)
The trick is to get wood.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 8 Jul 2023, 23:08, archived)