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Evening bollocks to you all

(, Mon 12 May 2025, 22:10, archived)
oh thank you that's so thoughtful

(, Mon 12 May 2025, 22:28, archived)
Much obliged

(, Mon 12 May 2025, 23:51, archived)
And a very good evening bollocks to you

(, Mon 12 May 2025, 22:58, archived)
No, to you sir!

(, Mon 12 May 2025, 23:51, archived)
Ah, bollock tennis, I love a game me

(, Tue 13 May 2025, 0:02, archived)
New balls, please

(, Tue 13 May 2025, 0:05, archived)
Remember when all tennis balls were white? Well you can blame that cunt Attenborough for the colour change. Glad he fucked off. What happened to Dave and his brother dickie?

(, Tue 13 May 2025, 2:51, archived)
did white tennis balls stop at the same time as white dog poo?

(, Tue 13 May 2025, 11:44, archived)
Did I ever tell you about the time my bollocks?

(, Mon 12 May 2025, 23:33, archived)
Did you bollocks

(, Mon 12 May 2025, 23:51, archived)
Well formerly I'd been bollocks but not, you know. So anyway, long story bollocks, bollocks.

(, Tue 13 May 2025, 0:01, archived)
here's the long version
An 8 as balls in the emote looks like a literal deformity. It reminds me of someone who has one ball stacked on top of another. I like to call this "vertical testicle syndrome." Tell me, in real life, have you ever seen someone with vertical balls? I don't think so.
There are people who will argue that "We've always used 8, so why change it?" or "Everyone uses 8! Who the hell uses a 6?". The problem with these arguments is that they both commit a fallacy. This is an appeal to tradition fallacy (We've always used 8, so why change?") and an appeal to popularity fallacy (Everyone uses an 8 for the balls, so an 8 must be the best choice).
The dick is clearly from a side view, not a top or bottom view. Sure, an 8 for the balls would make a lot more sense if we were under the assumption that the balls were being looked at from the bottom or the top, but this is clearly not the case. You can tell by the way the shaft and dickhead are positioned.
Some people will argue that "a 6 makes it look like there's only one ball!", but this is not true. This is a false position when one fails to acknowledge that, realistically, the shaft would obscure one testicle partially. If it was just one ball, it would probably look like an o like o=====D, but it's a 6, not an o. And even then, one ball makes a lot more sense than vertical balls. Some people in history had only one ball, like Hitler. I don't think anyone has had vertical balls.
Last of all, I'd like to respond to the argument that "IT'S A DICK EMOTE. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE VERY REALISTIC." which I agree with, but consider that we're not trying to make it look photorealistic, we are just trying to make things make sense. Imagine if I made a smiley emote look like this: "), using a set of quotation marks as the eyes. Looks horrible, right? Looks deformed and terrible. Obviously :) is not very realistic, but it makes more sense than ").
This is my case for why I type all my dick emotes with a 6. I think I make a very solid case, but if you can refute these arguments, I'd be glad to hear them!
(, Tue 13 May 2025, 0:36, archived)
8=====D''''''''` °°•°•°°`~♡♡♡♡

(, Tue 13 May 2025, 8:40, archived)
I think you mean, fuck off back to mumsnet

(, Tue 13 May 2025, 11:29, archived)
:-O hun I wd never say that 2 u oxoxo

(, Tue 13 May 2025, 11:41, archived)