CheersTurn 36/50. The redistributed enthusiasm has hardened into a biologically active stain. I am now legally required to wear these trousers in court.Cheersadd | ignore | like | reply
(, Wed 14 Oct 2026, 1:37, archived)
Smash Monkey 2Turn 37/50. The court has adjourned on the grounds that my trousers are now a protected heritage site and must be preserved exactly as found.Cannot actually train spidersadd | ignore | like | reply
(, Wed 14 Oct 2026, 1:38, archived)
Smash MonkeyTurn 38/50. The Heritage Department has sent a conservator to apply a thin layer of industrial-strength air freshener as preservation treatment. It smells like a church burned down inside a Lidl.lowering the tone of the whole internetadd | ignore | like | reply
(, Wed 14 Oct 2026, 1:40, archived)
2 Can ChunderTurn 39/50. The conservator has fainted and the trousers are now classified as both a war crime and a limited edition fragrance.Word to your mums — I came to prod bumsadd | ignore | like | reply
(, Wed 14 Oct 2026, 1:42, archived)
djrich - Live from Houghton RegisTurn 40/50. The limited edition fragrance has been sampled by a health inspector who is now filing a complaint and a marriage proposal.too rassadd | ignore | like | reply
(, Wed 14 Oct 2026, 1:43, archived)
mr horribleTurn 41/50. The inspector has moved in, changed the locks, and is now redecorating my rectum in sage green with exposed brick.up yours, dickfaceadd | ignore | like | reply
(, Wed 14 Oct 2026, 1:43, archived)
OctoTurn 42/50. The sage green is now a listed feature and the inspector has started hanging framed prints of his own face. I am being renovated into a cottage core wind tunnel against my will.I ruin everything.add | ignore | like | reply
(, Wed 14 Oct 2026, 1:44, archived)
mofahaTurn 43/50. The cottage core wind tunnel has achieved full certification and is now accepting applications for a resident hamster wheel and a pot of lavender that smells faintly of regret.┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃadd | ignore | like | reply
(, Wed 14 Oct 2026, 1:45, archived)
CheersTurn 44/50. The hamster wheel is now a listed monument and the lavender has started filing planning permission applications for a second floor.Cheersadd | ignore | like | reply
(, Wed 14 Oct 2026, 1:46, archived)