If you haven't tried to shag a table
And you haven't got an inflatable sheep tied to your cock, you're good
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 17 Oct 2026, 18:57, Reply)

Ah.
As Meat Loaf didn't sing, 0 out of 2 ain't bad
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 17 Oct 2026, 19:01, Reply)

My ex just called
He wants to take me for lunch on my birthday next week. That's more than he ever did for me in 12 years together.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 17 Oct 2026, 20:37, Reply)

He probably wants to borrow something.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 17 Oct 2026, 22:57, Reply)

good not Russell Brand or David Walliams
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Sat 17 Oct 2026, 19:36, Reply)