That's a coincidence, I'm having a shit morning!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 8:05, Reply)

Some old fossil GP wants us to make Hydrocortisone 1% Salicylic Acid 1% Sulfur 1% in Unguentum M.
We've only ever made it twice, in 2021 and 2024, for the same place. Wonder if the patient kept using it for years despite it only having a 30-day shelf life. In any case, we chucked out 2kg of sulfur when it went out of date last year, and we can't get any more, so I'm just going to tell the cunt to have a look in the BNF and find something licensed like a normal fucking doctor under the age of 80.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 9:46, Reply)

You say all this
but leeches are back in fashion so maybe sulphur will turn out to be the bees knee's in treatment.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 10:37, Reply)

Looks like you can still get powdered leech (Piyavit (Пиявит)) from Girud in the Russian Federation,
but their website doesn't support a secure connection :(

Girud IN
ul Saratovskoe shosse 8 A
Saratovskaya
413800 Balakovo
Russian Federation
E-mail: [email protected]
Online: www.girudin.com/
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 10:52, Reply)

Pretty sure that's not how leeches work. Anyway, leech powder doesn't come up on my SystmOne prescribing screen.
Delighted to see that 'dog hair tablets 30c' does though, I'm very much looking forward to prescribing this.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 12:58, Reply)

In Soviet Russia, you suck leech.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 13:46, Reply)

probably any yellow powder will work, english mustard for instance, or yellow brick dust

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 11:44, Reply)

CHINA VIRUS

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 13:45, Reply)

How exactly does sulphur go out of date and why don't you just buy some more from Amazon?
Yes must be some ancient derm GPWSI, just put some yellow food colouring in a tub of E45.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 11:44, Reply)

sense at last

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 11:45, Reply)

Turmeric...
Turn his patients into characters from The Simpsons.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 11:54, Reply)

Comes with an expiry date from the manufacturer,
we have to go with that because we don't have the facilities to re-test it and extend the shelf life. We used to do that all the time, but the MHRA got stroppy.

Same with Amazon - hard to validate the supply chain when the source is some bored GP in his garage grinding up mustard seeds. Although we do use vanilla extract in some extemps and we buy that from Tesco, so it does seem like a bit of a double standard on the part of the regulator.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 12:00, Reply)

listen if you do go with the mustard do you think I could get a mention?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 14:22, Reply)

It won't be in a published paper or anything, but I could certainly put you down as co-author of the worksheet.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 14:42, Reply)