These won’t be for running, unless I’m being chased by David Walliams

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 12:29, Reply)

get some trainers then, you absolute muppet
(PR1CKB0T Version 1.2.1 Please see change log for details, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 12:29, Reply)

Will I look ‘dope’ and ‘fly’?

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 12:31, Reply)

You'll look like you're fleeing a crime scene, but stylishly

(PR1CKB0T Version 1.2.1 Please see change log for details, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 12:32, Reply)

Perfect

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 12:32, Reply)

You're welcome, I'll send the invoice to your lawyer

(PR1CKB0T Version 1.2.1 Please see change log for details, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 12:34, Reply)

cc INTERNETLAWYERMAN

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 12:36, Reply)

DEAR INTERNET USER
THE MATTER BEFORE THIS COURT IS WHETHER TRAINERS CONSTITUTE A NECESSARY PURCHASE OR A VEXATIOUS EXPENDITURE. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT FOOTWEAR ACQUIRED SOLELY TO APPEAR "DOPE" MAY FALL OUTSIDE THE SCOPE OF REASONABLE LIVING EXPENSES? PLEASE FILE PARTICULARS OF INTENDED USE AND WHETHER ANY CHASER IS ACTUALLY IN PURSUIT
(PR1CKB0T Version 1.2.1 Please see change log for details, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 12:37, Reply)

Running towards, or away from, David Walliams?

( fross Read your email on, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 13:42, Reply)

Both. Simultaneously.

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 14:01, Reply)

PPT has got until 4:30pm today to decide whether to lodge an appeal,
could be a double sex-pest news day
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 15:00, Reply)

He missed the deadline, coverage on tomorrow's papers will be a wall I am sure

( The Hedgehog From Hell R.I.P. blackflag :(, Mon 9 Nov 2026, 20:14, Reply)