b3ta.com user The Twisted Omentum
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Profile for The Twisted Omentum:
Profile Info:

Recent front page messages:

(Tue 20th Feb 2024, 15:06, More)


(Sat 30th Dec 2023, 22:23, More)

(Sun 1st Oct 2023, 12:28, More)

(Tue 15th Aug 2023, 21:32, More)

sorry for the pea

(Sun 16th Jul 2023, 22:49, More)

(Sat 6th May 2023, 14:54, More)

(Sun 19th Feb 2023, 15:43, More)

posts and runs

(Thu 15th Dec 2022, 18:39, More)


another pea
(Tue 13th Dec 2022, 0:04, More)

no reason

(Sat 19th Nov 2022, 11:32, More)

(Mon 7th Nov 2022, 10:43, More)

Can you spot one?

(Sun 23rd Oct 2022, 12:42, More)

(Wed 26th Jan 2022, 19:18, More)

(Wed 8th Dec 2021, 21:48, More)

compo pea

(Sat 4th Dec 2021, 11:35, More)


(Tue 23rd Nov 2021, 21:21, More)

have a pea

(Sat 30th Oct 2021, 19:29, More)

(Sat 23rd Oct 2021, 17:26, More)

Rumour is these are selling out fast soooooo.........

(Fri 1st Oct 2021, 12:41, More)

(Mon 20th Sep 2021, 18:55, More)


(Sun 15th Aug 2021, 19:58, More)

backing guitars

pea and nwot
(Tue 4th May 2021, 18:31, More)

"Neeeeeo...Neo it was - really nothing"

(Thu 4th Mar 2021, 18:37, More)


(Sun 28th Feb 2021, 20:35, More)

The Large Tippi Hedren Collider

(Fri 12th Feb 2021, 14:37, More)


(Fri 5th Feb 2021, 16:36, More)

(Mon 21st Dec 2020, 14:27, More)

working together.....

(Thu 18th Jun 2020, 11:32, More)

(Wed 25th Mar 2020, 17:41, More)

ha have a pea

(Mon 17th Feb 2020, 18:52, More)

every year - sorry

(Tue 24th Dec 2019, 21:29, More)


(Tue 24th Sep 2019, 17:53, More)

(pun courtesy of Filthy Rich and Catflap)
(Wed 18th Sep 2019, 11:26, More)

That's better

de-ris www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-49631455
(Mon 9th Sep 2019, 17:49, More)

(Sun 9th Jun 2019, 19:25, More)

Krankie Says "FAN DABI DOSI"

(Wed 1st May 2019, 19:46, More)

(Sun 14th Apr 2019, 11:30, More)

No reason and Shirley

(Thu 4th Apr 2019, 10:34, More)

(Sun 17th Mar 2019, 14:41, More)

The Edambusters..

(Sat 2nd Mar 2019, 20:27, More)

Hooray for.....

(Tue 26th Feb 2019, 18:35, More)

Another summit coming up....we need a new order

(Sat 9th Feb 2019, 18:32, More)


(Thu 7th Feb 2019, 0:22, More)


(Wed 6th Feb 2019, 16:40, More)

Too obvious?

(Tue 5th Feb 2019, 16:10, More)

(Wed 16th Jan 2019, 18:33, More)

(Fri 11th Jan 2019, 15:48, More)

(Sun 6th Jan 2019, 12:28, More)

RIP June

(Sat 29th Dec 2018, 22:37, More)

how about a non stick pan?

(Wed 14th Nov 2018, 16:19, More)

(Thu 27th Sep 2018, 16:51, More)


(Mon 24th Sep 2018, 10:17, More)

Late entry

(Fri 21st Sep 2018, 15:24, More)

(Sat 18th Aug 2018, 10:56, More)

(Fri 27th Apr 2018, 12:44, More)


(Thu 5th Apr 2018, 16:50, More)

(Thu 29th Mar 2018, 17:23, More)

It's me Missus!

So long fella - you made me laugh. A lot.
(Mon 12th Mar 2018, 9:59, More)


(Tue 27th Feb 2018, 16:22, More)

Seemed an odd question but meh

(Mon 29th Jan 2018, 14:09, More)

Coming soon...

(Sun 7th Jan 2018, 12:06, More)

happy ones xxx

(Sun 24th Dec 2017, 23:15, More)

(Thu 30th Nov 2017, 17:24, More)

Rod Hull and Emo

(I am over 50 I don't give a shit if Goths and Emos are different)
(Thu 16th Nov 2017, 15:11, More)

Have this :-)

(Tue 31st Oct 2017, 18:15, More)

Free Boiler (Bunny) Service

(Thu 26th Oct 2017, 17:14, More)

Bindun Shirley?

(Wed 25th Oct 2017, 17:12, More)

(Sat 21st Oct 2017, 14:17, More)


(Fri 20th Oct 2017, 12:09, More)

Chewie, Lewis and The News

Shoot me
(Fri 13th Oct 2017, 19:35, More)

Cheque book Gerry.....

(Fri 6th Oct 2017, 15:11, More)

Time for a New Order I feel...

(Fri 22nd Sep 2017, 13:08, More)


edit - yes I had it prepared
(Fri 18th Aug 2017, 16:47, More)

Mr & Mrs Cameron and Larry

Not funny but I enjoyed doing it
(Tue 8th Aug 2017, 18:59, More)

edit - just seen barbarosa's brill FP
(Sun 16th Jul 2017, 18:07, More)


(Mon 23rd Jan 2017, 15:57, More)

I am peaing this in honour of Rick. Teh Snow Quo

(Sat 24th Dec 2016, 17:50, More)


(Tue 9th Aug 2016, 8:30, More)

Wookie Monster

(Thu 30th Jun 2016, 15:34, More)


old pea
(Mon 9th Jun 2014, 22:36, More)


(Mon 9th Jun 2014, 18:19, More)

Love the new Banksy.......
(Mon 14th Apr 2014, 21:17, More)

Sport for all :-)
Bigga ! 721k
(Fri 13th Sep 2013, 14:31, More)

Old One
Bigness - 290k
(Thu 8th Aug 2013, 18:28, More)

she's hardly the Artist formerly known as......

(Mon 1st Jul 2013, 9:36, More)

More an adaptation really

but they were called gullwings
(Sun 12th May 2013, 16:53, More)


(Thu 18th Apr 2013, 17:18, More)


(Mon 1st Apr 2013, 16:14, More)

phwoar ..... (not)

(Thu 28th Feb 2013, 17:30, More)

See the Pope's farewell gig?? Great concert !!

edit; thanks all and ta beaucoup for teh FP !! :-)
(Wed 27th Feb 2013, 19:02, More)

likewise :D

(Thu 1st Nov 2012, 21:05, More)

no reason
Hugeness 320k

..other than the original is going to Shrewsbury Hospital to say thanks for looking after my Mum
(Wed 29th Aug 2012, 16:53, More)

This took too long

(Wed 1st Aug 2012, 17:20, More)

Go on Adele - stick one on 'im !!

linky for full version

(Thu 23rd Feb 2012, 17:41, More)

plenty of used ones down on the beach, Liz.... fill yer boots love

(Sat 5th Nov 2011, 12:10, More)


(Thu 25th Aug 2011, 16:19, More)


(Tue 19th Jul 2011, 20:53, More)


(Thu 9th Jun 2011, 18:42, More)

Raiders of the Lost Hobnob

(Fri 27th May 2011, 16:44, More)

Strike Teh Pose!

(Fri 12th Nov 2010, 16:23, More)


(Thu 27th May 2010, 18:30, More)

Had to

(Wed 24th Feb 2010, 12:47, More)


(Thu 11th Feb 2010, 19:36, More)

Snow Quo

(Wed 13th Jan 2010, 13:21, More)


(Fri 2nd Oct 2009, 14:49, More)

Probably bindun

I guess the words could go on the back of a T Shirt
(Sat 15th Aug 2009, 12:46, More)

Mrs TO's idea :-)
(Sun 19th Jul 2009, 16:40, More)

Sorry McToyboy - had to because of Hedgehog's "Lolmuslims" challenge suggestion

(Mon 1st Jun 2009, 20:56, More)


(Fri 20th Feb 2009, 20:19, More)

Hope he likes this......
(Fri 12th Dec 2008, 12:13, More)

Did this years ago - hence the fax rather than a scanner

thought you might like!
(Thu 27th Nov 2008, 18:38, More)

Happy Fridaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

(Fri 14th Nov 2008, 14:32, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Bastard Colleagues

I won't go into detail......
about the tosser himself, but let's just say he was my boss at the time and an expert at jumping on shoulders when there was credit to be claimed and disappearing when something went wrong.

Amyway I had been developing a successful client relationship with a client (obviously) when they asked me to pitch for a large piece of work. Along I went and we won the job. We arranged a meeting for the following week to sign the contract and this git said he would come along to put "names to faces".

Yep you guessed it - when we got back he claimed he'd won the work etc and claimed (and got) all the credit.

I was not happy (!) but he knew nothing about computers so when he was away from his desk I went into the "autocorrect" function in Microsoft Word on his machine and set it so everytime he typed in his surname ("SINGER") it changed it to "WANKER". He went mental - espcially as he sent out several letters without noticing.

Revenge can be sweet.
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 16:39, More)

» Heroes and villains of 2011

Hero - Fresh Water Mole for giving us Jeremy the annoying horse

Villain - E Dubya for ALWAYS getting loads more clicks than me :)
(Fri 30th Dec 2011, 16:07, More)

» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta

I got me B3ta name (and indeed the name I use for all toons ect) when I was quite badly ill. I did not know it but a blood clot was travelling through me veins and ended up blocking the flow to the Greater Omentum (we all have one - except me now). Anyway it became twisted, went gangrenous and major surgery removed it (see pic at bottom of profile). Scary bit is the blood clot could easily have ended up in the heart and - well..

Anyway - Twisted Omentum was adopted. I needed a lot of time off after the surgery and Wifey (a long tuime lurker) suggested I have a lookey. First post was a cartoon of Tony Christie asking a stupid question. Never looked forward since. Ta B3ta. You saved my sanity when I was losing it then took it when I was off guard :)
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 21:01, More)

» Accidental innuendo

Bum Bags
Shopping with now 'Americanised' sister-in-law, we pop into Boots the chemist for some Bonjela. Handing it over the assistant asked politely, 'would you like a bag for that?', to be told, cheerfully,
'No, I'll squeeze it in my Fanny Pack.'
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 17:51, More)

» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

not eaten but drank....
We had a competition a fewyears back to see who could find the worst bottle of wine. Everyone brought their entries to the house and the taste tests began. Our entry - a Kosher pasturised wine die well but the winner was an Iraqi Rose called Flower of Bagdad. It was like Satan himself pissing down your throat.

As for the worst thing............... :P
(Sun 29th May 2011, 14:10, More)
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