b3ta.com user The Twisted Omentum
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Profile for The Twisted Omentum:
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Recent front page messages:

no reason

(Sat 19th Nov 2022, 11:32, More)

(Mon 7th Nov 2022, 10:43, More)

Can you spot one?

(Sun 23rd Oct 2022, 12:42, More)

(Wed 26th Jan 2022, 19:18, More)

(Wed 8th Dec 2021, 21:48, More)

compo pea

(Sat 4th Dec 2021, 11:35, More)


(Tue 23rd Nov 2021, 21:21, More)

have a pea

(Sat 30th Oct 2021, 19:29, More)

(Sat 23rd Oct 2021, 17:26, More)

Rumour is these are selling out fast soooooo.........

(Fri 1st Oct 2021, 12:41, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Bastard Colleagues

I won't go into detail......
about the tosser himself, but let's just say he was my boss at the time and an expert at jumping on shoulders when there was credit to be claimed and disappearing when something went wrong.

Amyway I had been developing a successful client relationship with a client (obviously) when they asked me to pitch for a large piece of work. Along I went and we won the job. We arranged a meeting for the following week to sign the contract and this git said he would come along to put "names to faces".

Yep you guessed it - when we got back he claimed he'd won the work etc and claimed (and got) all the credit.

I was not happy (!) but he knew nothing about computers so when he was away from his desk I went into the "autocorrect" function in Microsoft Word on his machine and set it so everytime he typed in his surname ("SINGER") it changed it to "WANKER". He went mental - espcially as he sent out several letters without noticing.

Revenge can be sweet.
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 16:39, More)

» Heroes and villains of 2011

Hero - Fresh Water Mole for giving us Jeremy the annoying horse

Villain - E Dubya for ALWAYS getting loads more clicks than me :)
(Fri 30th Dec 2011, 16:07, More)

» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta

I got me B3ta name (and indeed the name I use for all toons ect) when I was quite badly ill. I did not know it but a blood clot was travelling through me veins and ended up blocking the flow to the Greater Omentum (we all have one - except me now). Anyway it became twisted, went gangrenous and major surgery removed it (see pic at bottom of profile). Scary bit is the blood clot could easily have ended up in the heart and - well..

Anyway - Twisted Omentum was adopted. I needed a lot of time off after the surgery and Wifey (a long tuime lurker) suggested I have a lookey. First post was a cartoon of Tony Christie asking a stupid question. Never looked forward since. Ta B3ta. You saved my sanity when I was losing it then took it when I was off guard :)
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 21:01, More)

» Accidental innuendo

Bum Bags
Shopping with now 'Americanised' sister-in-law, we pop into Boots the chemist for some Bonjela. Handing it over the assistant asked politely, 'would you like a bag for that?', to be told, cheerfully,
'No, I'll squeeze it in my Fanny Pack.'
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 17:51, More)

» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

not eaten but drank....
We had a competition a fewyears back to see who could find the worst bottle of wine. Everyone brought their entries to the house and the taste tests began. Our entry - a Kosher pasturised wine die well but the winner was an Iraqi Rose called Flower of Bagdad. It was like Satan himself pissing down your throat.

As for the worst thing............... :P
(Sun 29th May 2011, 14:10, More)
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