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Profile for monkeon:
Profile Info:
Games and stuff here.
My b3ta pics go here... well, when I can be bothered to update it.
I don't tweet much, but I try and use it as a feed for pics which haven't died on their arse here and to launch any new games I make.

Recent front page messages:


(Sat 23rd Apr 2016, 11:43, More)

Adding a budgie to anyone looking serious and pointing.

No reason.
(Tue 12th Apr 2016, 21:29, More)

Worst conversion ever

(Thu 17th Mar 2016, 20:40, More)

Well trained

(Wed 9th Mar 2016, 22:19, More)

Always exciting when two popular characters go head-to-head

(Fri 4th Mar 2016, 21:42, More)

Hide and Seek

(Tue 1st Mar 2016, 23:35, More)

A less sympathetic character

(Fri 26th Feb 2016, 16:33, More)

Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay

(Tue 19th Jan 2016, 21:51, More)

Spoiler : it never leaves the box
yes, it is not a pet and I've spelt the filename wrong
(Mon 18th Jan 2016, 11:06, More)


(Wed 30th Dec 2015, 22:30, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Evil Pranks

Piracy is theft
In the 80s, I was asked to make a copy of Fruit Machine Simulator on the spectrum 48k for my brother's friend.

However, instead of copying it, we wrote a programme something along the lines of

10 PRINT "The reason you are seeing this message"
20 PRINT "is because you have pirated this software"
30 PRINT "We have detected that your address"
40 PRINT "is 16 Butterfield Close"
50 PRINT "and the police have been informed"

..and saved that on the tape.

The friend's dad loaded the game and apparently was thinking about phoning the police in order to hand himself in.
(Fri 14th Dec 2007, 12:28, More)

» Walkman Flashbacks

A friend of mine told me that he really liked that "build me a buttercup" song. Why? I asked, it's horrible.

"It was playing at my girlfriend's house, when their dog came in and started trying to hump me" he explained.

So now, whenever I hear that song, I think of my friend being assaulted by a great dane in front of his girlfriend's horrified parents.

I have no idea why that makes him like it.
(Thu 24th Mar 2005, 11:53, More)

» Hotel Splendido

A few years ago, myself and two friends went on holiday to Bournemouth. The landlady of the hotel seemed nice enough and showed us to our rooms. During the night, however, we could hear quite a bit of shouting from somewhere in the hotel.

The next day, I went out for a walk and what appeared to be a drunken tramp shouts something at me from down the street as I was leaving. As is usually wise, I chose not to turn around to a drunken shout of "Oy!", but instead I walked faster in the opposite direction and hoped that he'd ignore me.

However, the tramp ran after me and wrestled me to the floor.

The tramp then accused me of burgling his house.

It was only then that I realised that it wasn't a friendly old tramp at all, but rather the alcoholic wife beating husband of the woman who had showed us to our rooms.

Somewhere in his brain, he mustn't have realised that it was a hotel where he lived, but thought it was just his house.

The next day, he got his wife to appologise on his behalf. Like he seemed to get her to do everything for him. The twat.
(Fri 18th Jan 2008, 13:39, More)

» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

More sad than disturbing, but I once saw a baby rabbit hopping along a main road. I drove a bit further and saw a flat mother rabbit.

That still makes me cry.
(Fri 22nd Jun 2007, 12:55, More)

» Best Films Ever

Les Valseuses
starts with Gerard Depardieu being pushed down a hill in a shopping trolley.

Which is clearly a perfect way to open any film.

The imdb keywords give a clue to how it continues:

* Breasts * Impotence * Buddy * Male Nudity * Gay Sex * Female Nudity * On The Road * Naked Woman * Female Rear Nudity * Female Frontal Nudity * Vandalism * Forced Sexual Contact * Mugger * Car Theft * Gunshot Wound * Kidnapping * Robbery * Burglary * Rebellion * Sex * Train * Suicide * Murder * Escape * Based On Novel

(I suspect imdb has no categories for *breast milk drinking and *people thrown in a river)

Despite / because of its' complete lack of morality, it's a really life affirming film.
(Wed 23rd Jul 2008, 14:29, More)
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