You have to be careful not to cut within the dotted line.


(Fri 20th Nov 2009, 13:55, More)

boing

(Thu 5th Nov 2009, 16:31, More)

I wondered what he was drawing...

(Fri 23rd Oct 2009, 13:32, More)

Springcrotch

(Tue 6th Oct 2009, 13:37, More)

It's the bible translated into a more modern language.

(Mon 28th Sep 2009, 10:41, More)

He's actually married to Mavis Beacon, you know.

(Mon 14th Sep 2009, 11:12, More)

The other "events" aren't quite as exciting...

(Thu 10th Sep 2009, 18:14, More)

Meep Meep Me ANGRY!

(Sat 5th Sep 2009, 11:51, More)

Deflated


(Tue 25th Aug 2009, 11:21, More)

Wonka, you're a mad man.

edit: turns out that The Perry Bible Fellowship beat me to it
(Sat 22nd Aug 2009, 12:21, More)

» Evil Pranks

Piracy is theft
In the 80s, I was asked to make a copy of Fruit Machine Simulator on the spectrum 48k for my brother's friend.

However, instead of copying it, we wrote a programme something along the lines of

10 PRINT "The reason you are seeing this message"
20 PRINT "is because you have pirated this software"
30 PRINT "We have detected that your address"
40 PRINT "is 16 Butterfield Close"
50 PRINT "and the police have been informed"

..and saved that on the tape.

The friend's dad loaded the game and apparently was thinking about phoning the police in order to hand himself in.
(Fri 14th Dec 2007, 12:28, More)

» Top Tips

Shaving tip
I read in Neil Gaiman's blog yesterday the tip that if you want a clean shave, then rub your stubble with hair conditioner, leave for a couple of minutes and then shave.

I tried it last night, and it really works.
(Wed 23rd Apr 2008, 15:45, More)

» My first experience of porn

I think this was the first nudey material that I owned...


nsfw

..which explains a lot.
(Fri 26th Jan 2007, 9:21, More)

» Walkman Flashbacks

buttercup
A friend of mine told me that he really liked that "build me a buttercup" song. Why? I asked, it's horrible.

"It was playing at my girlfriend's house, when their dog came in and started trying to hump me" he explained.

So now, whenever I hear that song, I think of my friend being assaulted by a great dane in front of his girlfriend's horrified parents.

I have no idea why that makes him like it.
(Thu 24th Mar 2005, 11:53, More)

» Hotel Splendido

Bournemouth
A few years ago, myself and two friends went on holiday to Bournemouth. The landlady of the hotel seemed nice enough and showed us to our rooms. During the night, however, we could hear quite a bit of shouting from somewhere in the hotel.

The next day, I went out for a walk and what appeared to be a drunken tramp shouts something at me from down the street as I was leaving. As is usually wise, I chose not to turn around to a drunken shout of "Oy!", but instead I walked faster in the opposite direction and hoped that he'd ignore me.

However, the tramp ran after me and wrestled me to the floor.

The tramp then accused me of burgling his house.

It was only then that I realised that it wasn't a friendly old tramp at all, but rather the alcoholic wife beating husband of the woman who had showed us to our rooms.

Somewhere in his brain, he mustn't have realised that it was a hotel where he lived, but thought it was just his house.

The next day, he got his wife to appologise on his behalf. Like he seemed to get her to do everything for him. The twat.
(Fri 18th Jan 2008, 13:39, More)