No Surprises for Derren...

"I could have bribed someone at the Kinder factory - but that would have been illegal..."

From the Inappropriate TV Product Placement challenge. See all 389 entries (closed)

( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:16, archived)

IT'S ALL FAKE HE'S NOT AN ENTERTAINER HE'S A BIG PHONY OMG

( drbroon drbroon.co.uk, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:17, archived)

OMG, next you'll be telling us santa isn't real :'(

( Maximinimus Butts, Inc., Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:18, archived)

I HATE HIM SO MUCH HE'S A CUNT
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS A CUNT CHRIS MOYLES HEH
( Shada, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:18, archived)

and Paul cunting Daniels
IT'S NOT MAGIC IT'S A TRICK PEOPLE
( drbroon drbroon.co.uk, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:19, archived)

Derren Brown is a big fibber...

( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:18, archived)

I'm going to come out an say it.
I think this picture is shopped. It's entertaining, but because I think it might be shopped, I've changed my opinion of you completely and no longer find you remotely interesting, you big sell-out.
( drbroon drbroon.co.uk, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:21, archived)

I can assure you that no trickery of any sort was involved.
I will reveal exactly how I did it in a few days...
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:22, archived)

You asked 24 people what they would shop and took an average?

( Mrs Trellis has her two Misses Trellises at home :), Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:24, archived)

I'm going to pretend that's what I did
at any rate...
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:31, archived)

Hahaha

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:18, archived)

:D

( Shada, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:18, archived)

What more could anybody want?
Chocolate AND a toy!
( Whato_Jeeves found a cunt on his balls on, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:19, archived)

yes!
I once got a Kinder Surprise toy with two left legs. I wrote a letter of complaint and received six toys by return of post.
But NO chocolate. I was gutted...
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:20, archived)

Philistines!

( Whato_Jeeves found a cunt on his balls on, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:22, archived)

The eggs of numbing inevitability...

( Joe Scaramanga Nothin's gonna stop me gettin' to the Caymans, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:21, archived)

Racist.

( A Vagabond his uzi weighs a ton, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:22, archived)

:o

( discomeats I keep thinking about steak, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:25, archived)

hahahaha!
perfect.
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:23, archived)

hahahahahah
"shit toys in bits" Only 70p!
( HappyToast B3ta Art Auction http://b3ta.com/board/10688409, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:26, archived)

hahaha mighty

( drbroon drbroon.co.uk, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:27, archived)

kinder chocolate is boss!
half milk, half white. just like michael jackson.
(Lt. Shinysides can't beat Fjurg Van Der Ploeg at Spökboll., Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:57, archived)

Excellent
Love this! *click*
( Q4nobody.co.uk, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 16:07, archived)

*remembers the days when Kinder Egg toys used to b e really good little kits, not moulded statuettes*

( theoriginalsteve CAPS LOCK IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE ALL THE TIME, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:22, archived)

these are from the 2006 collection.
good spot. They were much better in olden days.
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:23, archived)

I remember the cars having internal combustion engines
well, pull back and off they go ones at least
( HappyToast B3ta Art Auction http://b3ta.com/board/10688409, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:26, archived)

yes!
with a little metal flywheel, even, I seem to remember...
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:29, archived)

I remember once getting little transformers in some eggs.. those were really cool
and I rememebr the little cars with a metal wheel thing to help them move along....
( theoriginalsteve CAPS LOCK IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE ALL THE TIME, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:37, archived)

Traction engines?
Edit: or not. Clearly my parent lied to me about my Thomas the Tank Engine. I'm off to cry to my therapist.
( Crystal Meth "Free" and "three" are not homophones, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:59, archived)

:D

( HappyToast B3ta Art Auction http://b3ta.com/board/10688409, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:24, archived)

:D

( fannycradock, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:27, archived)

:D

( - D - Let it Beard, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:30, archived)

:D :D :D
thanks, you three!
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:32, archived)

Fuck yes!

( Joliet has a bun in the oven. Gas Mark 1 for 9 months, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:35, archived)

:) ta!

( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:38, archived)

Hahahaha

( Barbarossa You'll only know I've left when I don't come back, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 15:38, archived)

arf

( E Dubya, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 16:08, archived)

i told
my careers teacher at school may years ago that i wanted to be the person who designs kinder egg toys (seriously I do still at 29). Anyway i got sent to the headmaster for being cheeky.
( Ive mastered quantum pumkin absorbacy rate Has just become an Uncle. WOOOOOOOO, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:34, archived)

It would be one of the best jobs
ever.
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:53, archived)

i
concour
( Ive mastered quantum pumkin absorbacy rate Has just become an Uncle. WOOOOOOOO, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 20:24, archived)

Hai
Can I use this?
(oeb, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:48, archived)

If it's not for profit
then sure, help yourself. If it's for t'web, a credit would be nice.
I'm flattered! :)
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 17:53, archived)

Not like that
No no, I am a magician, and I know lots of other magicians. I would like to see if I can work out a method for it and pass it on to them (I don't preform professionally, but some of them do. This would be a thought exercise on my behalf, but if I mention it to them they may want to use it in their acts or something.) I know alot of comedy magicians who would love something like this to take the piss out of Derren.
(oeb, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 18:10, archived)

Oh, I see what you mean...
You know, I was thinking that this might work pretty well as a real trick.
Go for it! Constructing your own magic tricks sounds like a wonderful pastime.
And then post a video of it over on /links!
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 18:28, archived)

I will try
The method will be simple enough, just gotta convince one of them to do it =)

(I am not serious enough to pull off a fake mentalist routine, need someone intense with a goatee.)
(oeb, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 18:32, archived)

haha...
Derren's goatee does most of the work.
( enceladus, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 18:43, archived)

I would have loved this skill as a kid
That and being able to transform the shitty toys into decent ones

Nice work too BTW
( Sheep!, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 20:02, archived)

oh, yes!
It would have saved some heartache.
( enceladus, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:38, archived)

hahaha

( prodigy69 ecky ecky ecky ecky pitang zoop boing, Sat 19 Sep 2009, 10:12, archived)

And it's been nicked by the Sun today
It appears, without credit, on page 36. Go forth and sue.
(nasalhair The Twix guy!, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:24, archived)

So I see! Thanks very much for letting me know.
- I shall get on the case!
( enceladus, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 12:37, archived)

I noticed that as well...
I hope you make them pay you so much money that they all die in a horrible Diana style coach crash before being raped by devils.
(elfinpunk Touching Cloth Since, Tue 22 Sep 2009, 18:46, archived)

chocadoobie!

( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:48, archived)

Shamelessly and uncreditedly
used in the Sun on 22nd Sept!
( DavyBoyInGravyJoy Grey Goose Vodka on Ice, nothing finer, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 0:16, archived)