Something to do with giving in to the Sufferagettes.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 16:43, 3 replies)

In a tent...
...in France, one August in the early 80's.

Mum: "Steve, I'm chilly. Shall we zip our sleeping bags together and snuggle?"

Dad: "Oi, oi! Let's do it babe!"

...NEXT SUMMER...

Dad: "Shit Di, I've dropped the baby! I've only fucking gone and dropped her!"

FFS...
(Clonk, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 16:43, 8 replies)

When I accidentally made myself redundant by being too good at my job.
Once you solve all the problems, there are no problems left to solve. So, as a problem solver, you are not required. In fairness they did try to change my job to that of a 'Visual standards author' but that just wasn't me.

This is why I don't work at Aston Martin any more.

*a couple of years in the wilderness doing bits and pieces elapse*

Cue 15 months ago, Oh thank fuck for that. Back in the Problem Solving business across the road from AML at Land Rover. Fortunately with new models and new technology, new problems are never far away.

ALT:- Oft mentioned, moving to Cornwall in expectation of finding a job that fitted my skillset.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 28 Feb 2013, 16:09, 8 replies)

Can't remember the exact date,
but Tim Berners-Lee has a lot to answer for.
(username failed moderation, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 16:04, 4 replies)

So, all we do is - get a bucket of pig's blood, and prop it up above the stage before the prom ...

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 16:00, 4 replies)

Took a job as a hotel caretaker
tried to finish my novel-

went a bit mental.

in hindsight, i should have looked for employment in a populous area and sought the appropriate psychiatric help.
(magictorch, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 15:21, 2 replies)

Tough question.
Far easier to explain where it all went right...

It all started in mid-2008, I'd recently signed on a house with a 25yr mortgage that tracked 0.5% below the base-rate for the first five years. I was warned against such a product by my financial adviser - as I was told it was far more prudent to fix my rate and therefore know exactly each month how much I was paying. I chose to gamble.

Within a year, the base rate had dropped to 0.5% - meaning my mortgage rate was effectively 0% and £0 per month! Unlike more recent mortgages, there was no clause with a min-base rate, so I was suddenly £1,400 a month better off.

I used my extra income to take out a second mortgage on a buy-to-let property, the rent covered the mortgage and chucked out £800 profit a month, I used this to then take out a third mortgage on another buy-to-let property.

Fast forward four years and I now own three properties, one to live in and two that provide over 10% yield on their purchase prices. One is on the market for a £100,000 profit, which when sold will allow me to place £50,000 down on two further properties.

Buy next year I'll have five properties and a very healthy income on top of my current salary. If I play the game right, I expect to own 10 properties by 2018 - with retirement looking very likely by 2020!

If the current trend of property price increases follows year-on-year for the next seven years, I'll have cleared close to £1m in profit. And if rental rates also continue to rise at the same level year-on-year, my income from my portfolio will hit over £240k per annum. Even after tax, that's still a very healthy wage - all controlled via a laptop and a good network of repairmen, plumbers & cleaners etc.

I fucking love capitalism.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 15:20, 93 replies)

the internet

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 15:06, 1 reply)

Apparently
They were the droids I was looking for

edit: I think it all went wrong when someone selected "where did it all go wrong" as this weeks QOTW
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 14:47, 1 reply)

Something something something
Hitler.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 14:22, 5 replies)

TL;DR it all went tit's up about an hour into Day 6
xidar.com/
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 13:49, 1 reply)

Rafa Benitez
The problem with Abramovich's feelings towards Rafa is, he's just not that interim.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)

vishnu teaches us that life can go up as well as down

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 13:32, 6 replies)

I didn't stay about from his bins.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 13:25, Reply)

boner
(◉‿◉)
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 13:24, 3 replies)

The Black Album
Shut up, you know I'm right
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 13:19, 4 replies)

b3ta.com/questions/worstrecordever/
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 12:59, 4 replies)

When humans developed self awareness.
Alt: Genesis.

Phil Collins can fuck off.
( Muns, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 12:51, 1 reply)

alright

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 12:48, 14 replies)

I blame that DJ Pete.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 12:11, Reply)

When I was younger I worked as an apprentice for a bit.
The guy I was working under never really gave me any respect. One day I was especially angry and lost it with him, and Star Wars
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 12:01, 19 replies)

Being Born
Slippery slope from thereonin!
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:59, 7 replies)

I gave up
Recreational drug use.
Smoking.
Drinking.

Now I'm bored.
I've put on weight.
All that money I've saved. I have to spend on new clothes.
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:54, 2 replies)

I gave up booze at the end of last year in an effort to lose weight
Here's my problem; it's working. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:49, 20 replies)

Will you
Marry me?
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:49, 3 replies)

That time when I was George Best in bed with a model and lots of money.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:44, Reply)

i tried to make a sentence from the following words
from. get. bins. my. about.
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Its all started when I bought that shed.

( Victor Meldrew, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Boing
Harlem shake ??
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:38, 5 replies)