Long-shift breakfast, a.k.a. a mug of coffee and a black pudding sandwich.
For the sandwich, use white bread, butter, brown sauce and four slices of that Irish black pudding they sell in Morrisons.

I used to have this for breakfast when I worked 12-hour shifts on a production line. Not only is it good at waking you up, it'll keep you going all the way to lunchtime.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 May 2011, 23:55, 7 replies)

I've actually made the Red Dwarf Tripple Fried Egg Sandwich with Chilli Sauce and Chutney
Several times

Its amazing!
( Peej, Fri 27 May 2011, 23:45, 6 replies)

nice hot crispy slow cooked belly pork
with wasabe paste to dip it in not mustard it has to wasabe , the belly pork crunches as you bite in to it then you get to oh so sweet and tender meat. must be from a farm shop or other quality meat seller not the crap you buy in the suermarkets although aldi do a decent piece if you cant get some from a farm etc
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 27 May 2011, 23:21, 2 replies)

Christmases ruin childhood innocence
When I was about 9 or so my parents thought it frankly hilarious to serve Reindeer for Christmas dinner - complete with glacé cherry just to reinforce the horror.
Since then it has become tradition to consume many exotic meats (fnar fnar) in our house. Highlights include Kangaroo burgers (lovely), Ostrich (bland) and a genuine Pig's Penis. Tastes like crackling if you want to know. And it's curly.
(Voodoo-Child16 Pissed in their Champagne on, Fri 27 May 2011, 23:11, Reply)

not eaten as such - more ingested by accident
I used to drink in a terrible boozer, long gone thankfully.

Anyhoo, there was an old boozehound called Irish Joe who when running short of fuel would totter over to the nearest table and signal for a "one for the road, best pal" etc. I say signal because Joe's tongue/voice box had rotted away, the result of this was his inability to contain his saliva.

So, there was I when Joe stumbles over, taps me on the shoulder - I look up and as I do the pendulous string of dribble hanging from his trampy gob snaps. Into my gaping maw.

I'd managed to forget about this. Bastard QOTW.
(wimbley is feeling hungover, Fri 27 May 2011, 22:26, 1 reply)

Ogorki Kwaszone, one of the finest foods on the planet.
not the vinager pickled ones, but the proper salted and fermented type.
Nomtastic!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 27 May 2011, 22:11, 2 replies)

Torpor: (An Ode To The Haters)
Whatever you may think about vegetables, you'd be wrong.

I can't tell you much myself, except that for every assumption you make about them, at least one plant gets fucked up. If there was a court of agronomy they would have you locked up for gross vegetable negligence, possibly even war crimes against vegetables.

Mind you, they aren't entirely blameless themselves.

Last week the carrots blocked the sink with the shreds of skin they left while preparing to cook themselves. Furthermore they left the water they boiled themselves in, and the pot too, for someone else to clean them up.

Perhaps I should avoid them.

Several minutes later there is a whiff of déjà vu in the air and a carrot, on a string attached to a stick.
Apologies for length but I didn't put it all the way up anyway - just dangled it in your face for a bit while you licked it contentedly.

Just think of it as your first time again.
(IdlePeAcEsign if trouble were my mistress, i'd send her to them, Fri 27 May 2011, 22:09, Reply)

Cheese and Marmite toasties.
Are the best food -- though the addition of chilli, gherkins, pickled onions and various other things can make them even better.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 27 May 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Kalamata
My favorite food is kalamata olives. Best sandwich is a hamburger with kalamatas, dill relish, and a squirt of horseradish sauce.
(Barticus, Fri 27 May 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Hmm..
Marmite and salt and vinegar crisp sarnies..
(frightfullybored, Fri 27 May 2011, 20:33, 8 replies)

People who add stuff to cheese should have their eyes sucked out and left dangling on their cheeks like jellied balls of shame.
Fruit in cheese? Fuck off.
Nuts around cheese? Fuck off.
Pickles? Fucking pickles? Fucking fuck off, more like.
Just fuck off.
JFO
F
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 May 2011, 20:13, 21 replies)

On the same note as Bathory
Salmiakki is a foul, foul "sweet". It is basically a salty liquorice and tastes as bad as it sounds.
( clockworkrat has nice pants, Fri 27 May 2011, 19:59, 9 replies)

Pot Noodle Sandwich
Curry flavour Pot Noodle sandwich. Simultaneously the best and the worst thing I've ever eaten.
(Naich, Fri 27 May 2011, 19:42, Reply)

I also like cheese.
I like more than one variety of cheese. Check the replies for details.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 May 2011, 19:27, 78 replies)

My most habitually Inebriated Pal
loves to tell the story about how he once ate something we know only as "Under-Sofa Possibly-Bacon".

It was part of a game called "What won't (IP) eat?".

I wasn't there so, unfortunately I can't judge just how bad this particular food item was, but he always follows it up by reminding everyone that I once ate chicken pakora straight off the pavement on the way home one night.

I wasn't there for that story either, except in the mere physical sense, and again can't comment. It probably was the worst thing I've ever eaten though, at least in terms of shame.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 May 2011, 19:12, Reply)

Lossepladsen
Danish sweets. Lossepladsen. Translates to Seagull Poop. Quite possibly the worst thing I have ever tasted in my life! Sweets should be... sweet! Not salty, nasty gag inducing balls of hard boiled rotteness.

The best thing? Maple Syrup. From the bottle. Oh yeah... I'm a maple syrup whore.
( Bathory, Fri 27 May 2011, 18:42, 1 reply)

Drunk?
Want to eat Coco Pops but have no milk?
Don't try using lager as a substitute.

It's all fine until the beer goes chocolaty.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 18:34, 3 replies)

I have three rules of food.

1. My food must not hurt me. This mainly concerns things like 100 million scoville Guatemalan insanity peppers.

2. I don’t like Sprouts. In fact nobody really likes Sprouts. There are those people who are all like “yeah I really really love Sprouts”, but they’re just lying to look all cool, hard and different. No-one actually likes Sprouts.

3. Celery and Cottage Cheese are woman’s food. There are the occasional men who claim to enjoy Celery and / or Cottage cheese, but these aren’t in fact men. They’re undercover butch lesbians, Fatimah Whitbread or living a lie.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 27 May 2011, 18:20, 19 replies)

It was the summer of 1987...
...when I was around 10 and my brother 8. Mum had to go into hospital for a week with lady problems. This meant, for the first time ever, my Dad had to cook us Sunday lunch. His attempt consisted of a tin of mushy peas, packet mash potato with way too much liquid in it and a tin of steak in gravy. Essentially the plate consisted of green goop, white goop and brown goop which all met to form some kind of wacky edible tie dye effect. We ate pizza for the rest of the week.
( The only Dave is pushing things forward, Fri 27 May 2011, 18:14, Reply)

Didn't live up to expectations
On holiday in Spain, I kept seeing locals eating something that looked like a small haggis, with obvious relish. After a couple of days I enquired what it was, to be told "Cojones del Toro". Now my Spanish was non-existent back then, so I had no clue what this meant. Nevertheless, the next evening I ordered it, and waited for this taste adventure with eager anticipation.

But what turned up was very different from what I'd seen before: two tiny, shrivelled things, almost lost amongst the vegetables. The waiter clearly saw that I was confused, so explained:

"Oh senor, sometimes the bull, he win..."

.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 27 May 2011, 17:30, 2 replies)

Best/Worst food
Just remembered a story from waaaaay back involving a local, somewhat unpopular, MP. He was sent a lovely looking cake for his birhday, pristine white icing and well-crafted lettters and all. After the usual, "No it's not a bomb" security checks. he donated the entire thing, still pristine, to a local OAP home. Word got out and a local reporter was dispatched to record the happy, grateful (if toothless) faces.
Cutting the cake proved eventful, as did the first taste.
The icing was genuine, as was about half an inch of shortcake under it... but the rest?
Yes it is that bad. Whoever sent it decided the fruit filling would be better replaced with shit.
No I wasn't there so it doesn't really count as a tasting but....
Errrrgh
(DustyD, Fri 27 May 2011, 17:06, Reply)

A doner kebab with cheese
Many years ago I was babysitting a client's computer system and eventually left the site at 4am. I was sober and very hungry. The only place open in Kettering town centre was a kebab shop, so I ordered a large doner. The kebabista asked whether I wanted cheese on it, and keen to try something new, I agreed.

Bad mistake.

I finished half of it, not really enjoying it much, but each mouthful go harder and harder to swallow. By the time I reached my hotel room, disgust had overtaken hunger in the sensation stakes and I gagged on a mouthful.

This opened the floodgates and I throw up so hard and so violently I actually burst hundreds of capillaries in my face and had to go on site the next day with cheeks looking like an alcoholic's nose.
(lardaholics anonymous, Fri 27 May 2011, 17:01, 4 replies)

There's six more days of this.
I like cheese.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 May 2011, 16:41, 21 replies)

Faaaaarrrrrrmer's Marrrrkets & Faarrm Shops
Aside from the stalls selling garlicky olives (taking the piss a bit - even with the greenhouse effect it'll be a while before Wiltshire or Norfolk can get olive groves going), they're ace.

Got a local one on the way home from work - champion faggots made from Gloucester Old Spot piggies.

The other week I bought some hogget best end of neck. No, I'd never heard of it either - lamb is from sheep under 1 year old, mutton is from sheep over 3 years old, and hogget is from a sheep between those ages. Woolly teenagers, if you will.

Slow roasted, with anchovy fillets, sliced garlic clove, and sprigs of rosemary inserted into cuts made on the surface.

Just.
Fucking.
Lush.

I'm never buying cheapo supermarket lamb again. I've got the crumblies coming to dinner over the bank holiday week and I'm seriously thinking of trying a leg of roast mutton, if the hogget was anything to go by...
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 27 May 2011, 16:03, 4 replies)

bacon + chocolate = SMART
The other day, me and a mate made an Epic mealtime-inspired triple-layer bacon chocolate pancake, which went thusly:
1. Pancake
2. Banana and sugar
3. really crispy bacon
4. sprinkle of caster sugar
5. melted chocolate
6. peanut butter
7. pancake, and repeat steps 1-6
then, sprinkle more sugar on top, and fry off the whole thing, just to melt the outside layer of sugar. After taking some nerdy pictures of ourselves cooking and the final product (pics maybe uploaded later if I can be arsed), it was eatin' time. We grabbed forks and dug in.
It was....we had no words. we just kept looking at each other and making 'mmmmmmm' noises, crying silently with joy as we devoured the whole thing. It was like travelling into a delicious new dimension. It was like sex, but with your taste buds. Fuck best meal,that was the best thing I've ever done/had in my life.

And the worst? Today I had some salad for lunch, as though to compensate for the gluttonous lard-fest of Monday's pancake. I bought it from a cafe I used to work in, as they are close by, cheap and (usually) not shit. After I quit, I think it went way down in quality, as my former boss was a shitty chef, never tasted anything, and always cut corners. I had a salad with all the basic bits, lettuce, blah blah, and some 3-bean salad, potato salad, and some pineapple bits with some sauce. After a few mouthfuls, it started to taste.. kinda funny. Something in it was 'wrong', but I couldn't figure out what it was. Half of it seemed to suck in some way, the potato salad? Just cold potato mixed with mayonnaise. The coriander sauce? Just tasted like mayo again. Damn, it was better when I worked there. Eventually when I was halfway through I realised it was the bean salad! Not only was it not seasoned at all, it was just some canned kidney/broad beans just rinsed and thrown into a bowl, but this tasted like little slimy solidified egg farts, wtf? Not cool. It's also too late to take it back as I've eaten nearly all of it now, bah.
(Ryuken-Kai, Fri 27 May 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Traveling eastern europe
After graduating from uni my folks gave me some "get started" money. Instead of getting started i decided to blow it on traveling eastern Europe where the wine, food, women and architecture is fantastic. While in Hungary i was eating a fine meal of steak in red wine sauce, great but not amazing. The waiter then offers the table a digestif drink after the meal. He brings over a bottle of Unicum (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unicum). I have never tasted anything so fucking awful in my life. If anyone ever travels Europe and brings this back as a present for you then use as a toilet cleaner instead, they will obviously try to make you drink it to see if your an ungreatful cunt or not for their own pleasure. Pretend that you have given up drink when you see the bottle.

On the same holiday i was in Split, Croatia. Best seafood risotto i have ever tasted.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Fri 27 May 2011, 15:59, 3 replies)

Bleurgh!
Worst thing I have ever eaten was a hamburger made from circus clowns. It tasted funny
(mon bison powered by magnets, Fri 27 May 2011, 15:56, 2 replies)

cod
Caught by my own hand (well, rod) from a stunningly beautiful norwegian fjord on the first day of a truly amazing fishing trip. Coated in batter and deep fried until golden and crispy just a couple of hours after being plucked from mother natures heaving bosom. Mmmm.

The worst? Cod. Caught by my own hand from a stunningly beautiful norwegian fjord on the seventh day of that truly amazing fishing trip, coated in batter....

Insert rod length joke here.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 27 May 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Nothing
The worst thing I've eaten is NOTHING.

It's Friday afternoon and I'm sat at my desk with my stomach rumbling having been hungry all day.

Reading the QOTW is only making the hunger pangs worse!
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 27 May 2011, 15:40, 1 reply)