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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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There was a copper knocking at the door there but I ignored it as I couldn't be arsed getting up.
When was the last time you ignored something that was probably important?

Alt: So gonz and battered are going to have a ruck. When was the last time you were in a fight?

Altalt: are you a racist?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:24, 184 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Typical Scottish.
No they wont, I can't remember, and getting mugged doesn't count right?
No
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:29, Reply)
RACIST!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:30, Reply)
That's what a racist would say

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:31, Reply)

's

fucking english, can't even use their own language.

haha, NINJA
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:32, Reply)
JAPANESE-IST.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
*pulls back corners of eyes*
*sticks out teeth*

Fluck you, hippy!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:36, Reply)
*throws star*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
i heard she was too heavy for that

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
I ignored a call from my bank last night
I know what it's about, and it is important, but I'm going into the branch this weekend, as I'd rather deal with it face to face, rather than over the phone.

Alt: I don't think I've had an actual 'fight' since school.

Alt Alt: No chance, honky.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:33, Reply)
are they calling you to call you a twat for giving people your piin number?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:34, Reply)
Nope, they're telling me off for talking to spastics on the internet
I'm in a repayment plan with them, which expires at the end of this month. I was told when I signed up for it 6 months ago, that I'd be able to renew it under the same terms. They're now saying I have to double my payments, or I get fined.

The only reason I'm on the current agreement in the first place is because of a mistake the bank made, in which they passed through my account to collections, despite me keeping within the terms of the agreement.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
oh man, what have you done!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
i almost got in a fight when i tried pulling someone's trousers down at karaoke the other week
i felt really bad cos i was jsut kidding but this little 17 year old oik was trying to be all brave in front of his fat girlfriend, unfortuantely i couldn't hear a word he was saying
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:35, Reply)
kids eh?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
the little tyke had a £30 haircut and jeans hanging off his arse anyway

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
how fat was his bird?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)


(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
fucking hell, so a gonz two pinter then.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
don't you start on gonz as well! we're gonna have to tag team this shit, yo

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
gonz knows we cool.
plus he don't mind a fatty, so I heard. He'd do Janet.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:50, Reply)
we'd all do janet
i think we should all have a go at once
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
would we? I'm not so sure.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:56, Reply)

yes WE would
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
FINE.
but it has to be a double-bagger.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Were you at Reading's premier Karaoke venue "De Ja Vue"?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
I put it to you that no matter how well-meaning and earnest you think you are,
you do make judgements - positive or negative ones - on grounds of race, whether you like it or not, and therefore you ARE A RACIST.

You're in a dark late-night street and there's a gang of black youths hanging about: are you seriously claiming that your reaction to this is identical to if they were a gang of Japanese kids?

Bull shit Mr. Han, man.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:37, Reply)
if I see a large group of any kids I walk the other way.
not many black gangs in Glasgow, we can't fucking stand them.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:38, Reply)
I heard that there were more gays in glasgow than anywhere in the uk?
Is that true?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
yes, also Europe!
they don't call it Glasgay for nothing.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
why are you all gay?
Is it all that Glasgow kissing that you do?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)
cause we like cock.
duh!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
I guess as you only have 3 teeth between you all
blow jobs must be all the rage
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)
chip grease make excellent lube!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Last time I went to Glasgow we ended up in a gay bar
It was great, all the drinks were absolutely dirt cheap, and it was a good laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Rhohyplols

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
yes, gays are hilarious.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Luckily for you they can't stand the cold either.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:41, Reply)
we like to call a spade a spade up here.
for some reason, they don't like that.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
Hahahah

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
Some coppers on a bridge pointing a speed gun at me
I'm dreading the arrival of the inevitable letter
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
how fast were you going?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:40, Reply)
He was in bed with his sister!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:42, Reply)
with a spoon!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:43, Reply)
awful!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
She went of her own accord!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
When he's happy it says "Welcome to Jamaica Have a Nice Day"

(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Around the 100 mark, if I was over not very good, under maybe 6 points on a clean licence so alright really
M6 toll, everyone speeds on that fucker and I ent never seen coppers on it since it opened
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
over 100mph equals automatic ban-hammer

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:44, Reply)
Yer, I am aware of this :(
But no points or something stupid like that. I sware if I ran someone over and killed them I'd get less
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
you may be able to argue that your car is essential for your livelyhood

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Eight weeks worst, probs reduced to 3/4 weeks for work.
I can always use the Ferguson defence and see where it gets me
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
You might get to chance to miss the points and do the speed awareness course.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:50, Reply)
That's within 10% of the limit. Doin the ton and being caught is automatic disqualification. UNLESS I GET SILKY NICK FREEMAN ON THE CASE

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Can't you do a Hamiltons and say I have no idea who was driving.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
report the car stolen! say you haven't seen it since yesterday

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:02, Reply)
I'll take the punishment like a responsible citizen of this fair and sceptred Isle

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
you'll probably get away with it though, they don't put film in their cameras

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)
it would be a stupid thing to do anyway
there's a massive fine for trying that on now. they realised too many people were slipping through the loophole.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:28, Reply)
+ and moan about it on here.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:29, Reply)
my mate got caught by the only speed camera in the north of scotland.
fucking dozy cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Like most people on there I tend to think
IVE PAID FOUR POUNDS FOR THIS I DEMAND THE RIGHT TO SPEED!
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
I've done 130 on that and still had some prick flashing me to fuck off out of his way

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
He probably thought IVE BOUGHT AN AUDI I DESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE A PRICK!
I hope you rammed him off the road in your souped up Accord.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:51, Reply)
its alright they don't put film in all the cameras
they're just a deterrent
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:50, Reply)
Nah it were two coppers next to a police car pointing speed guns at motorists, it's fair to say that I'm well fucked

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
yeah but they don't have film in them so you'll be ok

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
Cheers Q

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
glad to help

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:57, Reply)
they let me off at 98mph, you might be ok
my dad got done on the m6 toll. he was doing 99mph. copper dragged him into the cop car and started reading him the riot act. then a crackling noise and the radio blared into life: dangerous escaped criminal running down the m6 toll, all units mobilise immediately.

policeman turns to my dad. "did you hear that? that, sir, is your lucky day. now piss off."

my dad pissed off. at 69mph.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Could you somehow work in a bit about how he kicked the school bully into this story?


Cheers.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
I ent got tits. Srsly I'm screwed.
WHY ME !!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Tell them you saw two suspecious looking men in dark clothing
point a gun at your car and you paniced.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
You know, I've not once been done by a stationary camera
it's always been those cunts in the vans.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
moobs'll do

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
They didn't have you on a speed gun though.
So they were only really guessing at your speed

If they've got a gun out they're after people. Although, fair does, it could just be to scare people as the M6 toll never has any police on it.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)
im not going because i dont want to risk being violently premeditaded physically assaulted.
Its a shame, lots of people I would have enjoyed meeting. He's ruined it now, months of hard work planning. All because I didn't take his hypothetical question seriously and he took my reply as gospal.

never met someone who can't work out what fiction is or isn't.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:45, Reply)
what about LARPers?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
i think they know that they're playing a game

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:47, Reply)
some of them do

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
woah now, I thought this was all a joke.
link plz?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
im on my phone, but its the one where he asked what you would do with a tenner and 30min to live

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:49, Reply)
LOL.
what a silly billy!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
He won't do anything to you,
don't be silly.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:07, Reply)
He might punch his knees really hard.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
wear springs on his shoes then jump off a barstool and try to nut him.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:14, Reply)
Battered is not a mental, he wouldn't punch gonz for something he said on here obviously as a joke.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)
I think you're forgetting that Battered actually had a breakdown immediately after the first bash he attended.
So he is a mental.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
There's express linkage between schizophrenia and epilepsy
He ent allowed to be left alone with his kid or something like that
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
There's a link with epilepsy and being religious as well.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:30, Reply)
I heard there was a link between epilepsy and being short.
Apparently if your head is closer to the ground your more likely to be kicked by a horse.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
But I got my Team Gonz tshirt all ready and printed :(

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
My sister phoning me, and seeing her number on call display, ignoring it. Turned out the old lady ahd died, which was a bit heavy.
Alt, 1993 or 4 I think, not really a fight, only 1 punch was thrown.
Alt alt, no.
What did the copper want? I had a couple of guys turn up to mine on Boxing Day one year, I looked through the entry system and saw 2 guys in suits with clipboards. Not a good sign anytime, but Boxing Day? Think they were debt collectors.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:46, Reply)
I dunno what the coppers wanted, I didn't answer the door.
If it's important, they'll come back.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:48, Reply)
If it was really important they'd have knocked the door down.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:52, Reply)
probably something going down with the neighbours.
I HOPE IT'S NOT MY MUM!!!!!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
I've had the "food police", as I call them, calling round.
Some local council healthy eating initiative. Guy comes round at 5pmiah, and asks what I'm having/had for tea. Just shut the door on the twat. Apparently, if you tell them, they tell you it's unhealthy, and suggest a nice salad instead.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
What a waste of someones taxes

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:54, Reply)
ELF AN SAFETY GORN MAD!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
its ok the planet is made of tnt so you can beat him

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:00, Reply)
you could have a lot of fun with that.
like taking the piss out the god squad.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:59, Reply)
Talking of a healthy diet,
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4266244/Partner-of-Coca-Cola-addict-claims-guzzling-the-drink-killed-her.html
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:04, Reply)
george the 999 dog was on the sun website
check that story out too. there are pics of him.

world's ugliest dog contender.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:08, Reply)
It's a Basset, they are pretty manky looking.
His lipstick is partly out in the first picture. Not that I was actively looking.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
go on...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:13, Reply)
*Goes to check*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
not for the first time but i'm going to disagree with you here
that dog is bloody lvoely
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
I think Bassets just look wrong.
As if theyve got too much skin to cover their inside stuff. A bit baggy.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
just because he is ugly doesn't mean he can't be lovely
shallow cunt!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
Is this a voice of experience talking?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
i was just trying to give quentin a bit of hope, you know?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:27, Reply)
Ha ha.
Quote from his owner,
“He’s not usually very smart.

"He’s really dopey and just likes to chew socks.”

My mate has a Basset at least as ugly as this thing, and it's main hobby is trying to undo shoelaces.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
that bit made me LOL too
they are pretty pointless. and they HOWL!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
but he's not ugly, he's adorable

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:31, Reply)
"He’s really dopey and just likes to chew socks.”

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:34, Reply)
and now he's not just adorable, he's marriage material

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)
In that case,
"He’s really dopey and just likes to chew cocks.”
I hope you'll be very happy, and have lots of little George Quintens.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:39, Reply)
only in parts of india

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:43, Reply)
what a couple of stupid cunts

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:08, Reply)
How fucking stupid can you really be
Natural selection at work I guess
(Apothecaries' weight - I'm a cyborg, but that's OK, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
Pretty sure that is not how natural selection works.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
yep, coke killed the dinosaurs and all

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Why not?
Their lack of intelligence is taking them out of the gene-pool. Unfortunately not before she could push out a load of cracker spawn
(Apothecaries' weight - I'm a cyborg, but that's OK, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
"I thought it was like water..."

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:11, Reply)
I ignored the TV license guy for about 6 months, he would rock up in his battered old Citroen BX (no fancy vans they don't exist)
we were on the second floor so would simply get the downstairs folk to say we weren't in
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:50, Reply)
What's a TV licence? Do you need one to watch the box?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:53, Reply)
yep, otherwise they come around with a van and computer and butt fuck you all the way to White City

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I ignored my wife blabbering on about work, she's pretty important
I haven't been in a fight since I was at school, though someone started on me when I was on crutches when I was 24 but his own best friend broke his collar bone so I didn't need to get involved.

No I am not a racist.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:55, Reply)
why not? have you ever tried it?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Yes but I did not inhale

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
It is a laugh.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:03, Reply)
how do you know you don't like something unless you try it?
if you feel bad after telling someone to "fuck off back to monkey land" then fair enough.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:06, Reply)
By this rational I should "do a Bert"
*calls sister*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:09, Reply)
Broken tooth
I ignored chronic pain with my wisdom teeth and as of now I have a broken jagged tooth in the most inconvenient and inaccessible of locations that's just begging to become a rotten abcess. I have no problems with dentists but I'm dubious about getting out of this one so easily..

Last time I had a fight? Must have been about 11..
Racist? Nah - not really anyone to be racist towards here, not my thing
(Apothecaries' weight - I'm a cyborg, but that's OK, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:15, Reply)
christ, you lot are a bunch of poofs.
none of you been out steaming and ended up in a fight?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:16, Reply)
I've only been in one fight about fifteen years ago.
There was one of me and about seven of them. I didn't fight back, I didn't see how it could possibly end well.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:18, Reply)
You hadn't been drinking enough

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
/\ THIS
fuck it, you're going to get a doin anyway smash at least one fucker in the face.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
/scot

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:20, Reply)
well yeah.
glasgow can be rough and I ain't letting a bunch of fucking neds have a go without reply.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
It was one guy out of the seven that took a dislike to me.
If I fought back, the others would almost certainly have kicked the shit out of me. As it was I ended up with a nutting and a couple of punches before he went swaggering back to his mates.

Could have been worse.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
you could have shit yourself
then got a chubby
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
An unusual, but effective, self-defence mechanism

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:26, Reply)
to be fair
nobody would come back for seconds if you did that
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
*remembers the bedshitter*

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
*cries*

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
Hah, yeah, you did go back for seconds, though.
dorty bord
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:37, Reply)
did you have sex with someone and they shat themself during?
fucking hell swipey...... fucking hell.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:38, Reply)
Two girls one cup.
Based on a true story.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:41, Reply)
not during. my then bf did have a bit of a drunken accident in the middle of the night, however.
but yours makes a better story. let's go with that. he had a glass coffee table too.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:42, Reply)
so he shat the bed?
was his arse pointing at you? were you pebble dashed?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/itsover/
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)
you know why you're not married yet?
far too picky.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:48, Reply)
you forgot ugly and smelly

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:54, Reply)
who could forget

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:55, Reply)

bedshitter alamo

*chucks out the mexican*
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
I hadn't been on the internet long enough to pick up hero fighting madskills.
obviously i'd now defeat all of them with my kung fu.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:21, Reply)

kung fu Klingon ceremonial sword
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:22, Reply)
chop chop suey!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:23, Reply)
You could have roundhoused them all to death

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
or used a samurai sword and beheaded them.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
I probably would have driven my Accord into him
and thence a wall. It's the traditional form of internet martial art. Web-do? Web-jitsu? Summat, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:32, Reply)
accord-fu!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:35, Reply)
Bless you

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:36, Reply)
I have! mainly on the losing end though

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:19, Reply)
theer are very few darkies here you're right

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:17, Reply)
I'm black.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:24, Reply)
figures

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:25, Reply)
did he nick something off you?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:44, Reply)
it's the smell, more than anything.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:45, Reply)
do you feel, saturated by it?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:46, Reply)
I scrub and I scrub but the smell just won't go.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Every fucking day
Alt: An actual fight? Not sure if I've ever had one. Probably a long time ago if I have.

Altalt: Not in the traditional sense, no.

Alright?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:59, Reply)
alright?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
Yeah, I think so
You?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:01, Reply)
bored, this week is really long
I might have some booze tonight to numb the pain
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:02, Reply)
It's as good an idea as any

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:03, Reply)
what brings you over here? are talk being more rubbish tahn here?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Just fancied a change
Plus, I'd follow MMPS anywhere.
He's dreamy!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:09, Reply)
didn't you have a fight with BM over/with a dildo?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:05, Reply)
it was just for the LOLs

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:06, Reply)
It didn't get physical
It was more a war of words
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:10, Reply)
I have been in a few scuffles.
I've lost shoes due to them being covered in blood a couple times. Ruined clothes are the true tragedies of war.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)
you are such a whore

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:00, Reply)

blood lipstick
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:07, Reply)

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