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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Portmanteau words.
These fucking things have really been making me ANGRY OFFLINE recently. 'Brangelina' was bad, 'Jedward' was worse, but it's really getting out of hand. 'Grexit' (Greek exit from the Euro) and fucking 'Hoffice' (home office) are two I've heard in the past couple of days. STOP IT YOU CUNTS.

Know any 'good' ones?

Alt: Perhaps something else is annoying you? What (if so) is it?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:31, Reply)
Moyce
Alt: Naked Ape
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:32, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1618692
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:37, Reply)
Twunt

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:34, Reply)
twankunt
twastard
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:12, Reply)
Framp
fucking tramp

alt: YOU ANNOY ME BOYCE, YOU ANNOY ME
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:36, Reply)
That's very hurtful.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:37, Reply)
Therful

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:40, Reply)
Riffle.
A rigged raffle. Usually frowned upon.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:37, Reply)
In the original Hebrew, 'raffle' is pronounce 'ROFL', and that's how that all started.
You know, like how some people say 'faloffle' instead of 'falafel'.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:40, Reply)
Curiously, before the invention of hats or tombola machines, the tickets would be stuffed into the pockets of a man having an epileptic seizure induced by excessive exposure to nitrous oxide.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:43, Reply)
The word truffle comes from the portmanteauing of trumpet and raffle.
Because before pigs were utilized to locate them, people would fill a trumpet with coordinates and play "The Raffle Shuffle" on it. Whichever set of coordinates shot out during the protracted high C were believed to indicate the location of a truffle on a standard Ordnance Survey map.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:41, Reply)
I have a hangover, why hasn't it gone yet.
I need hangover dinner ideas... might get an indian delivered.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:42, Reply)
Sausage, mash, peas and bisto gravy.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:43, Reply)
That does sound good, apart from bisto gravy, I can make my own...

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:44, Reply)
Put single cream and butter in the mash. And fried or spring onion.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)
also heat the butter and milk/cream before addingt it

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:46, Reply)
And fry garlic in the butter when melting

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:47, Reply)
Are you still making mash here?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)
Oh yes.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)
and masterbate furiously at the same time

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)
Changover.
The particular type of hangover caused by drinking Chang beer in Thailand.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:43, Reply)
Have a 'raffle strudel'!!!!!!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:43, Reply)
macaroni cheese and bacon
with some mango chutney
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:44, Reply)
You actually disgust me.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:46, Reply)
Mutney

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)
reeehehehehehehehehe!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:04, Reply)
cowfaced runt
cunt.

Alt: When you get someone's voicemail and then get a long winded description. Speak after the tone? Get away! Hang up when finished? Surely not.

Buses! Where the fuck are all these poor people going? What business can they possibly have that means they should be blocking my progress toward my destination.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:42, Reply)
THen press the hash key
Errr, no. I'll hang up like every other fucking phone call thanks
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)
INORITE!
I don't need instructions on how to leave a fucking voicemail. Who, anywhere, does?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)
*waves*

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)
Hahahahaha

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
twunt

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:43, Reply)
I already said that you Futwunt!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:43, Reply)
I'm just calling Mooyce a twatcunt

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)
And I already said that, you Naape!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:47, Reply)
hahahaha!
OK talue
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
I fucking hate how the press and then a whole bunch of government ministers have been using the term "Omnishambles"
as if it's some sort of cutting edge idea.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:43, Reply)
Yeah and
"I'm very clear on this". No you're not you fucking weasle. FEASLE.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:44, Reply)
It's from the thick of it isn't it?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)
I prefer to call it 'The Naked Ape of it'

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:48, Reply)
convaluted

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)
But very true.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)
^ not an actual word thus proving my point

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
close enough

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:55, Reply)
Clough

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:57, Reply)
Brian

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:57, Reply)
BN

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:58, Reply)
Plus it reminds me of 'Babyshambles' which is never a good idea with my 'dicky ticker'

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)

'dicky ticker' dribbling penis
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:50, Reply)
or "drenis", as I shall now refer to your member.
which works in two ways as people might think it means either dribbling or drooping, and they'd be right on both counts.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Anything with -gate
Don't they have any fucking idea why the watergate scandal was called the watergate scandal? It wasn't anything to do with water! ARGH! I AM ANGRY NOW YOU FUCKING TWAT CUNT!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)
I'm going to make a massive fraudulant gate company just to annoy them.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)
I think SOMEONE could do with a wank.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:46, Reply)
I suppose it's the least you can do after he sent you that stuff.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)
Monty and PhillieJoe are hand in glove.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:54, Reply)
Hanove

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:56, Reply)
Someone used the term "going forward" to me the other day.
I asked them if they meant "in the future" and was told yes.

I told him that, going forward, I wouldn't be buying any more of his junction boxes.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:47, Reply)
Or 'joxes', as I like to call them.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:50, Reply)
smelly tramp = trelly.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)
smamp surely?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:50, Reply)
My mother-in-law is a geriatric version of Quentin. Extremely annoying and coming out with loads of irrelevant crap all the time.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)
The world first use of the word "mother-in-law" was due to a spelling error in an essay by Locke on raffles.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)
Funny, he hasn't been on here since your mother in law arrived at your house...

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)
*puts finger on nose then points to tangles*

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
mmiliagvoqeaacowloicatt?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:52, Reply)
'Mime'.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:54, Reply)
*pushes imaginary wall*
Now what?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:54, Reply)
OK NOW DO THE 'UMBRELLA IN THE WIND'

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:55, Reply)

UMBRELLA IN THE WIND RAZOR BLADE DOWN THE ARM
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:56, Reply)
Remember kids
It's down the road, not across the street.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:58, Reply)
Haha

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Now you get punched in the face for beinga mime cunt

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:56, Reply)
I would expect nothing less
The freaky quiet cunts
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:57, Reply)
Rolls off the tongue
Much like his bother-in-law
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:54, Reply)
Apple are annoying me
As a mother someone who has to fix computers everyday I wouldn't recommend them to anyone and its nothing to do with the fact they are shiny fisher price fashion accessories, but because they break. I currently have 4 on my desk in various states of hardware failure. three are under a year old. The hard drives are shit and fail all the fucking time. Apple are trying to squeeze even more profits by putting shit nasty hardware in their shiny boxes and the apple fanatics are eating up every spoonful of the shit they are being served. This annoys me greatly. I hope Steve Jobs gets cancer and dies.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:56, Reply)
....
Sobs, you means
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:57, Reply)
and "candies"

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:01, Reply)
Makes it sound so much nicer

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:02, Reply)
I have an apple but I also have a blackberry running on Orange
I can't remember what date I got them, but the raisons were clear at the lime
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:59, Reply)
My phone contract is up for renewal. I don't want to replace my iPhone with another smart phone, as I have a blackberry for work and an iPad.
However I have no idea what sort of 'normal' phone to get.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:00, Reply)
a tele

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:01, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Get one of those 'old fart' phones with massive buttons so you don't get confused.
Alternatively, mr b3th has a rugged JCB phone with a laser pointer and a torch and shit.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:13, Reply)
Does he wear it clipped to his belt?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Round his neck like a panic button
b3th, come quickly! I can't reach the bourbons!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
He doesn't need a panic button
Every five minutes, it's "(b3th's nickname)! How do you spell X? Where's Y? Come and look at some random shit I found on the internet!"

It's like having kids.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:21, Reply)
It's not
You need more shitty nappies and piss
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:22, Reply)
Give it a year or so...

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:22, Reply)
BUT WHAT ABOUT MR B3TH?!!?!?!!111!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
a ha ha ha ha ha.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:25, Reply)
That is surely not too far away now

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:22, Reply)
too slow

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
I know, I'm typing like an old man.
Does that turn you on, b3th?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Like you wouldn't believe

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:27, Reply)
She's rubbing one out right now

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:27, Reply)
Shh. Don't tell everyone.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:28, Reply)
I'm in ur computa
watching u wank
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Not usually.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:18, Reply)
Bastic.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:00, Reply)
funt

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:02, Reply)
I hope when they told him he was dying they made him pay them 99p for an app that just said "It's Cancer :("

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:00, Reply)
I hoped that with Sobs tragic passing
Apple would start letting you use all software. Why won't they do this?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Don't say taht!
I'm excited about getting my shiny new ipad this week. Don't ruin it for me before I even get it!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:12, Reply)
I have one. It's crap. Fast. But crap. Good for HD porn. But crap. Heavy. And crap. Good as a reader. But crap.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:13, Reply)
That's ok then
b3th is only getting one for HD porn
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Is there any other kind?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Oh yes
There are all sorts of other kinds.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
noooooooo!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Don't listen to cowlick, they are very useful if you don't mind only being able to use one application at a time.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
It's alright. I know he's a cunt.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
You're not the boss of me!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Battered's theme tune band

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Has his fave dinner down the CHIPPY.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Yes, no, maybe
I don't know
Can you repeat the question?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Do what?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)
chippy: shirty, aggressive, taking the internet very seriously

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:45, Reply)
They are fucking shit and you know it, Tom Thumb.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
If they're under a year old shouldn't they be done under warranty?
Even still, I'm sure they could get a replacement for nowt if they went down the apple shop and caused a scene about the sales of goods act.

Or is apple that shiny and important it transcends sales law?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
shiny shiny

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:18, Reply)
They've been banging on about the new iPad being 4G
when it won't work in most countries.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Just been told off for that

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)
this is indeed true
And all that Siri crap that doesn't actuaaly work over here eitehr.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Really?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:32, Reply)
For anything useful, no

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:32, Reply)
All teh things in the advert like 'Is my brother here yet?'
that function only works in America.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Despite it showing Nottingham or something on the ad

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:34, Reply)
Forests ground.
Tell it to Watchdog, losers.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:35, Reply)
*winks*

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Would you? Anne Robinson.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:36, Reply)
Not with yours

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:38, Reply)
I probably would
Like really nasty. Smack her about a bit, punch her in the backfat. Spit on her, that sort of thing.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:41, Reply)
Force her to drink sherry.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
After I'd already drank it.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:46, Reply)
It's not localised properly, (yet)

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:34, Reply)
Siri fucking rocks, I use it all the time, it's so much easier to work out my calendar stuff.
And I think next month they'll switch on the locational stuff in the UK.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:37, Reply)
Siri isn't on the ipad yet though, is it?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Nope, they might enable it next month, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
If they have it for 'the new ipad', they'll have to at least have it for the ipad 2, and that came out before the iphone 4S, and it was a USP of that.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:48, Reply)
I suspect in fairness
that's more to do with them not being arsed to change US adverts. Anyway, they've been slapped for that one.

I hardly think "company dishonest in adverts" is a reason to complain, though. Unless you can arrange for any fucker advertising something as "100% natural" to be smacked down with the "well done, you've stated the law of conservation of matter as sales point" stick? I'd be impressed then
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:54, Reply)
1) You're a chick?
2) I fucking love apple products, my 3 year old laptop is still worth more than half of what I paid for it, and it can run anything that I've wanted to run on it, very quickly. They always use the highest grade proccessors available at the time, but I admit that it's a fucking joke how much the 'extras' are, 160 to go from 4gb ram to 8gb is rediculous.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:36, Reply)
What on Earth are you going to be doing on a laptop
that requires 8gb of RAM?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:40, Reply)
Not sure you want to know.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:41, Reply)
He probably does the sick, French bastard.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
The dirty cochon.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)
That's exactly what Apple think too, which is why its an extra option rather than default.
I've got my dev stuff that uses a good lot of that, lots of tabs and windows open with media-rich websites and lots of documentation.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:47, Reply)
Yeah, but 8 gig's worth?
It wasn't so long ago that was a server level amount.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:50, Reply)
I've normally got around 1.5g free, but it's always better to pair up the ram chips, so 6gb wouldn't really be that efficient.
Most of it goes in Firefox even though Chrome is my main browser.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:52, Reply)
I was going to use this argument
but it's a personal experience thing, innit? I just think it's idiotic to argue that macs break, because you're basically suggesting therefore that PCs don't.

I have a macbook pro that runs at exactly the same speed now as it did 5 years ago. Fucking try that with a PC laptop.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:49, Reply)
Yeah, but you know why that is
All the targetted malware on the internet is targetted at Windows. If IOS was anywhere near as targetted, you'd have exactly the same problems, probably compounded by the lack of third party removal products.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:51, Reply)
*cough* iOS is mobile, OSX is desktop *cough*
I think Win8 will really kill off most malware, because every app would be sandboxed. MS are moving towards Apple's pholosophy by having a closed eccosystem, which has the pay-off of having to play by MS's rules.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)
This is interesting.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:56, Reply)
thing

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Of course.
But you present that like it's a negative point of apples? It'd be like knowing that all red cars get stolen, no blues one do, and then buying a red car and trying to suggest that it being stolen is a good thing.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:56, Reply)
I don't present it as a negative
more like an irrelevancy. You're comparing one thing to another on completely incomparable terms.

If I were to extend your analogy, it's more like the owner of the red car saying they don't like blue cars because you can't control them yourself. You can't change gears, you can't swap out engine components, all you can do is steer. To which the owner of the blue car retorts with "yeah? well red cars get nicked more often".

Different things.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)
totally depends what you want them for.
Your points are valid, but only if you want something other than a way of getting from a to b out of a car. The red car might be faster and better handling but if all you do is drive it to the supermarket that's an irrelevancy, the only thing that matters is that it keeps being stolen.

To me, being more or less immune to malware is the single most important thing in a computer (assuming all else is equal, which for everything I do bar lectures, it is, and for presentations and lectures, macs piss on pcs from a great height) because it means I don't have to care or pay attention. And I only have time for either caring about my computer or ranting on here. And I choose you.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)
Sure, which is fine. I just don't like it when people say one's better than the other.
They aren't. I just prefer to use a PC for much the same reason as I choose manual cars over automatics. I'm not anti-Apple at all, I even have an iPhone, because I just need my smartphone to be a smartphone and the Apple one does it best.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)
FIGHT FIGHT IT'S AN AFTER SCHOOL GERD FIGHT !!!!!!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:15, Reply)
Yeah, us gerds are always scrapping.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:16, Reply)
You bust a move by comparing processor speeds and red dwarf scripts (AS SIGNED BY THE CAST AND CREW!!!!!)

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:18, Reply)
I'm running an overclocked Woodbridge and I've got a signed Lister figurine
*spins on head*
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:23, Reply)
is a gerd a gay nerd?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:21, Reply)
no, I know, fair play
I run my lab kit on a mix of Unix, PCs and macs depending on what's needed.

it just amazes me how many people will genuinely go "yeah but your mac only runs fine becuase there's no viruses on it" as if that's a bad thing.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:21, Reply)
What worse about that is that in an intel mac so any in the last 8 years or so
takes the same RAM as a PC laptop which is a fraction of the price, the only difference is you don't buy it from apple. It cost e 20 quid to upgrade my macbook pro to 4gb. Yes I have a macbook pro, its 4 years old and the hardware in it is miles better than the shit they are selling now to cut costs.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 19:25, Reply)
Yeah
because PCs NEVER break, do they?

Well known for their reliability, which of course is why there are no computer repair shops in the UK anywhere.

Oh, wait.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:46, Reply)
Right very late on this but I work for a very large institution
with over 6000 pcs but only 300 macs. 50 macs have gone for warranty repair with either hard drive or touch pad failures this last year compared with just 3 PCs so you tell me what those numbers mean about the shoddy cheap shit Apple are putting in their products
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 19:18, Reply)
This thread needs the excitement of a raffle to get it moving

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Two and seven
NINE!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:19, Reply)
All the fours - FOUR.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
Portmantoracle
Portmantoracle
Meaning: Portmanteau oracle
Function: Noun
Portmanteau origins: Portmanteau + Oracle
Example: "I have consulted many portmanteauoracles in searching for this offtopic on blended words. But my number one portmanteauoracle is definitely mark morrisons prison shoes. Shoutout mark morrisons prison shoes for smelly tramp = trelly. can i have a rewind?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:20, Reply)
This is making me lol heartily
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-18100850

"He would have been killed instantly - but another massive electric charge snapped him back to life"
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)
This made me lol heartily
wvgazette.com/News/201205050057
stupid americans.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:32, Reply)
p.s. it's very geeky and IT based, most probably wouldn't care.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:33, Reply)
I want to know who approved the purchase
Somebody, somewhere, had to say "yes, this is appropriate equipment to be putting into a rural library and at a good price!"
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Apparently the guy who made the deal retired on the commision.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)
You would, though. Luck like that's not coming along twice in a lifetime.
I can imagine him at each stage, certain that it's all going to fall through and getting more and more excited. Jammy fucking bastard.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:08, Reply)
Really?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:34, Reply)
It's fucking mental, the amount of money wasted is crazy.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Government spends too much on something is not really news though, is it?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:36, Reply)
They are building two aircraft carriers and are mothballing one straight away!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:37, Reply)
It's in case they break one

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Is that like teabagging but for old people?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
The fact that another company bid more than that is ridiculous. As is the cost of the T1 cards.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:14, Reply)
I would like to know how he tweeted with no limbs while swimming between two continants.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:23, Reply)

apparently the Wu Tang Clan are playing Newport Leisure Centre.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
I've seen them three times.
One of which was billed as 'THE WHOLE ORIGINAL WU TANG LINEUP'.

I don't remember 'Old itchy chin', 'Jimmy Hill the chef', Inspectah Reck-on' or 'Made-up Man' being on that first LP.

The best one was in Equinox in Leicester Square. Someone nicked Method Man's shoe when he was crowd surfing and wouldn't give it back for HALF AN HOUR during which they refused to perform. It was immensely gay and very funny indeed.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:47, Reply)
Isn't at least one of them dead?
and doesn't that really preculude the whole original line-up playing? Or are they digging him up for the show?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:50, Reply)
This was in about 1998.
And yes, dear old ODB is no more. He was easily the best one as well.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:50, Reply)
This is interesting.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)
touche.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:11, Reply)


(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)
up, up and away?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:21, Reply)
Wasn't it 'Touche Away'?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:28, Reply)
supermarket own brand jaffa cakes
are, as of yesterday, Jaffa Fakes.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 16:57, Reply)
GOD IM BORED

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:00, Reply)
as your deity
i have better things to do with my time than entertain you

go and have a wank or something
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Alt: Estate Agents
Absolute useless twats. Supposed to meet one in Bethnel Green but the arsehole never showed up, so I've had to traipse back to the office in New Cross to drop keys off. Was supposed to be going straight to Soho. Cunts the lot of them. Wouldn't have minded if he told me but to not answer your phone and leave me in limbo is a joke.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)
big collared over gelled hair cunts the lot of them.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:07, Reply)
You forgot 'lying' and 'sell their own grandmother'

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:08, Reply)
I always got hot female estate agents when I was looking for my current place
I guess the agencies thought "single guy, one bedroom flat, get him to use his penis to make the decision".

Worked though, did I choose the flat shown to me by the 23 year old lad in the pink shirt and the BMW 1 series? Did I fuck.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:10, Reply)
Hopefully that'll happen to me as well!
woo pretty ladies.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:15, Reply)
Suzylamplughlols.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:16, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:16, Reply)
I am applying Chompy's First Law of Internet LOLs here
I had to Google it.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:19, Reply)
You thick French twat.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:20, Reply)
I was 5 when that happened.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:21, Reply)
I've heard of Jack the Ripper and I was only FOUR when he was at large.
No excuse, Gaston.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:24, Reply)
Parry, parry, riposte
It's like the Three Musketeers in here this afternoon.

You're Ollie Reid, I'm totally Michael Yorke.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:24, Reply)
Battered is Dogtanian.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:29, Reply)
Pfft.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:37, Reply)

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