b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 1644003 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Good weekend.....
What does this week hold in store?

Alt; who is overdue a knighthood and why?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 7:53, 153 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I've drive home to the country side for a holiday.
so far have had a lovely welcome from my parents and the kitties, have finished my book, and have had promising job searches come up. Tomorrow I will be going swimming and then doing not very much.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:02, Reply)
This week I are mostly...
... Working on a project/new product design for the Germsns. I will also be looking after my G/F after she has her knees injected with cortisone on wednesday.
Alt: Overdue a Knighthood? Gez McGovern, design director of Jaguar Landrover for designing the vehicles that got them out of the shit and into profit. He's a Coventry boy, went to my school (as did Clive Owen the actor).
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:03, Reply)
Just remembered
I will be going to the Central Ticket Office in Birmingham to sign a statement that:-
I am not Mr Zeoma Orlukwu.
Mr Zeoma Orlukwu does not live at this adress and never has.
I have not registered a vehicle (Ford Focus Zetec reg no BL05FNR)at this address under the pseudonym Mr Zeoma Orlukwu.

I expect this could take some time.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Yes but you ARE Mr Zeoma Orlukwu.
'Captain Placid' is just a nom de plume, you oaf.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:15, Reply)
Damn! Maybe I might be Zeoma Orlukwu
*checks self*
Nope, I still seem to be the same guy depicted on my passport - a balding, bearded, overweight, middle-aged white bloke. I would suspect that Mr Orlukwu may not fit this description.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Racist.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:48, Reply)
I've just fired someone. What a lovely start to the week.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:09, Reply)
what did they do?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:13, Reply)
Gross misconduct is the HR expression. Lost their temper and shouted/ screamed at her team. Unacceptable to treat people this way in my opinion, so off she goes.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:19, Reply)
silly way to lose a job.
losing your temper I can understand but surely there is this thing called restraint?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:21, Reply)
Quite.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:23, Reply)
I'm amazed you fired someone for being angry.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:37, Reply)
Ha ha. Work is rather different to the internet.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:38, Reply)
In training for the weekend yet?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Always.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:46, Reply)
You realise that if England
Finish second in their group I will want to watch the football on Saturday night?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Why bother?
Spain will spank them raw.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Thank you, wee Jimmy Krankie.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:57, Reply)
I'm sorry
What I meant to say was COME ON, ENGURLAND!
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Christ if my boss worked for anyone other than himself he'd be fucked.
The above 'gross misconduct' is considered normal by the hook-nosed greedy bully.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:30, Reply)
That's one of the problems of working in a small business; the owner often feels that they can do what the hell they like.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:37, Reply)
....because they can.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Is that really gross misconduct?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:36, Reply)
Yes, when it's not the first time and they have already received a written warning for the same type of conduct.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:38, Reply)
Ah ok, that seems more reasonable.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:40, Reply)
Is it teh woman you have complained about before?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:16, Reply)
No.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:40, Reply)
i hope you followed due process, or you're fucked
this person, unless they were still in a probationary period, would require a verbal warning, written warning and then fired, otherwise your opening yourself up to all sorts of shit
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:18, Reply)
The process was managed by our HR people. It depends on the severity of the issue, you can go straight to GM if there is sufficient cause.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Stripping staff-members and whipping them, for instance
even if it's consensual.

Errr... I imagine.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:12, Reply)
true
but i wouldn't want to risk it
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:43, Reply)
Alt: Jamie Oliver, much as he can irritate.
And Billy Ocean, obv.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:31, Reply)
Ocean is no Pato Banton.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:35, Reply)
Who, in turn, is no Snow

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:37, Reply)
Who in turn was no Wee Pappa Schooler.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:41, Reply)
All of whom are standing in the shadow of Bitty McLean.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:44, Reply)
Bitty is no MC Miker G

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:48, Reply)
Yo Sven

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:50, Reply)
*Rings, rangs, dongs*

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Thanks "Scooby Doo"

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Pato Banton holds the curious position
of being the only person in chart history whose debut single was also a 'comeback'.
lololololzzzzzzzzz
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Apart from The Equals. Wak wak oops.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:42, Reply)
wak wak oops.
I love the sound of DLT in the mornings.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:47, Reply)
You are Aung San Suu Kyi AICMFP

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Please explain
I have had no caffeine as yet
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:01, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13844131
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:02, Reply)
ta

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I think she was a different kind of shutin.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Morning
This week holds lots to do at work and some recording to do at home.

Alt: I think I could live without the honours system.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:31, Reply)
This week holds in store for me
a trip to Manchester to

a) Drink beer with AA
b) Watch Pearl Jam

Alt:
Russell Brand - this would then allow the Queen to behead him. A service to the nation indeed
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:57, Reply)
I think you've misunderstood how the honours system works.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:00, Reply)
But COME ON!!

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Morning, Henman.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:07, Reply)
*shakes fist*

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Morning
I have computers for spastics later, lord help me.

This week holds more of the same. Job hunting, computering, craft projecting.
God, my life is fascinating. *kills self*
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 8:57, Reply)
I was really looking forward to seeing you later as well :(

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:08, Reply)
That took me far too long to get.
I really should stop calling it that. I'd get in terrible trouble if they found out. And most of them are really lovely old dears.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:09, Reply)
naff all on this week, lots of work to do though
AlT: Tony Hart posthumously
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:06, Reply)
They'd never knight a well-known nonce.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:07, Reply)
Was he a nonce?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:09, Reply)
Well known to be.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:10, Reply)
Monty is just bitter because his collage made with dried pasta shapes didn't get shown on The Gallery.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:11, Reply)
I heard he had to pick the pasta off a picture his daughter made him so he would have something to eat
the residue of glue was a bonus
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Someone grassed me us as being 25 years old, not 9 as I'd claimed.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:12, Reply)
+ that wasn't actually flour sprinkled on it.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:15, Reply)
I plan to spend this week apologising...

...and not just for what I did yesterday.

Alt: Either Dale Winton or Nick Griffin
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:09, Reply)
Did you write an extremely long and protracted story on QOTW?
shame on you
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Seems unlikely.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Meeting Sportscow for a few drinks, laughing at my friend going to a shit gig he can't afford, and lots of drinks on Thursday.
Should be fun!

Alt: Keith Floyd, posthumously.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Your friend is also going to Pearl Jam?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Worse, he's going to see Springsteen

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:17, Reply)
IoW?
Montys best mate, The OC, is going to be there as I understand it.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Nope, in Manchester

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Brilliant music, brilliant company...
...brilliant city.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:20, Reply)
He's giving me a lift.
Brilliant music, brilliant company...it's going to be a great night.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:19, Reply)
These are Better Days

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:21, Reply)
Oh, man. You lucky bastard.
It's not fair that you get to hang out with the A-list slebs.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:23, Reply)
I am truly blessed.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:24, Reply)
GORDON'S ALIVE!

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:27, Reply)
I think they might be replacing him on his Breakfast show with Jonny Vaughn
question is, who is the bigger cunt?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:20, Reply)
You.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:20, Reply)
+ inside TGB's "bat-cave"

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:21, Reply)
twat-cave

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:22, Reply)
In Sunderland?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:18, Reply)
See above

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:19, Reply)
WITH A SPOON!!!????????

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:20, Reply)
ARGH!
Morning Al. Have you forgiven me for outing you on Saturday?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Al's a chutney?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Yes

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:43, Reply)
No.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:40, Reply)
less knightings need to be given
every prick whose ever been in Holby City or on a football pitch has a knighthood these days, the fucken pricks
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Gas them, I say.
That does tend to be my solution for things, though.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:28, Reply)
A friend of mine is in Casualty, we should knight him.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:29, Reply)
What, just for getting injured?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:32, Reply)
i hope when he says 'knight' he means 'joust'

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Who does he play?
Or have you just injured him?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Trip to the smoke on Thursday for a meeting
Lots of Charleston practice. That's about it. Probably several more meals incorporating this delicious minced Naga pickle I got the other day. Nom.

Alt: Stuart Pearce, obviously. And, I dunno, Patrick Stewart. Services to geeks.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Morning Darth
Isn't Charleston just like being a shit mime, only speeded up?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:41, Reply)
In many respects, yes
That's more or less why we chose it for the demo, it'll be entertaining as fuck even if we stuff it up.

It's fucking good exercise I tells ya. And we've got a massive lift at the end, it's essentially a fanny/neck interface
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:44, Reply)
LiC is part of the dance?
Oh hang on, that was cock-neck
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:45, Reply)
I think anyone who could draw an anatomically accurate fanny on someone's neck while they were passed out
deserves a Rolf Harris Commendation
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)
He has the pubes already

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Silly Sporters
Women don't have pubes any more than they have Adam's Apples
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:52, Reply)
So I should be concerned about my wife's balls?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:55, Reply)
If you've lived with them for this long you probably shouldn't rock the boat now

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Great use of the words
Charleston and minced in the same post right there.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:42, Reply)
Naga pickle sounds good though

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:43, Reply)
I have no idea what you mean

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:47, Reply)
Why the FUCK
has nobody suggested me? I'm saving the internet singlehandedly, here. A little bit of fucking recognition wouldn't go amiss.

Cunts.

As for the main question, I am going out drinking in an underground toilet on Wednesday. Fact.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:43, Reply)
+spunk

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:43, Reply)
Are you drinking in Brown's in Cov?
That's a converted public poilet.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:47, Reply)
The Cellar Door in Aldwych.
There's a couple of these places in London, there's another one in Shepherd's Bush whose name momentarily escapes me.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)
The Shepards Bush place is a shit hole on the green

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:59, Reply)
I wish I could remember the name. I don't want to google for converted underground toilets at work.
I want to say Gringotts, but I've got a feeling that's something else entirely.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:01, Reply)
That's the goblin bank in Harry potter
close though...
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:20, Reply)
Haha you read Harry Potter
GAY
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:25, Reply)
You? saving the internet?
how? I see no saving occuring.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:55, Reply)
You're way too young to remember the internet
before I started my Work. It was an awful place, void of intellect, swarming with basic text websites. Since I started using it it has become faster and far more sophisticated. Plus, the amount of porn available has increased tenfold.

I don't require adulation, or fame. A knighthood would be nice. Just a little recognition, you know?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 9:57, Reply)
I know the feeling.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Is it like a sneeze, but better?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:04, Reply)
Thank you Mr Bing

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:09, Reply)
+tonight's gonna be a good, good night

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:50, Reply)
any old cunt gets a knighthood these days
so yeah, you should get one
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:30, Reply)
If you wouldn't mind emailing Liz, yeah?
Get it sorted right out.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Morning Jeff
Work mostly, although I am looking to hit a bunch of speciality cheeseshops in my lunch hours. Cheese at Leadenhall, La Fromagerie and International Cheese.

Alt: Frankie Boyle.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Morning Lighty
Looking forward to the opening day of the season?
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Looks interesting
At home to Liverpool first match, makes a change for us to have a home game first. First two away games are Tottenham and Fulham, so I'll probably go to those.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Alt: you realise that eventually we'll be confronted with the following three words in conjunction;
SIR GARY BARLOW

There can't be any other Sir Gary's, can there? Only cos that's not Glitter's real name of course
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Sir Garfield Sobers

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Exactly
Giving a cartoon cat a knighthood is perfectly understandable. Plus honours are more or less mandatory for Notts players.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Forgot to add this week will include drinks on Saturday with Stunned, Jeff & Monty, plus others if they are brave enough to join us.
I am slightly scared, based on previous experiences.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Tip from those in the know;
Anusol is your friend
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Hahaha 5am couch Barry rape hahaha

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:15, Reply)
YES

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:31, Reply)
I also need to find a kidney dialysis machine to help me regenerate the following day. Plus arrange a liver transplant.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Good forethought there
You'll be too ashamed to show your face in hospital the morning after
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:18, Reply)
That's assuming I get bail.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:29, Reply)
*puts lawyer on speed dial*

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Ha ha.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:38, Reply)
How is swipe going to help here?

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:50, Reply)
She has had sex with The Metropolitan Police
and can call in a favour.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:26, Reply)
JEFF
I've just noticed our respective teams will be kicking off the new season by boring each others' fans to death
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:22, Reply)
The Summer is a football free zone

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Yeah, nothing going on in Poland at the moment.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Just some racism so I've heard

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:26, Reply)
it's been pretty quiet there for 67 years or so i heard

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Po-Land
Just say no
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Just say nein.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I like how all the premier league fixtures are on Saturday at 3pm
For a few brief hours it's like football used to be, until Sky stick their bloody fingers into it and screw it all up.
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:46, Reply)
They want their pound of flesh for £3bn.

(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:49, Reply)
My mate Ian is on the comittee at the FA to sort all this out
This is what they have to start with. Stuff like the Great North Run (SAFC v Liverpool that weekend) and WBA v SAFC is originally booked at the same time as Wolves v Cardiff
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Well...
Myself and MrsHarris are moving into our new house on Friday. So before that is another few days of 'Fuck-Arse-Shite' packing and whatever else needs doing.

I need a beer to get me through this!
(, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 20:14, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1