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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, it seems that I booked my time off work, and train tickets a week late for my holiday next week.
I also did this with flights to Ibiza a couple of year ago.
Is there something you just can't get right? Peoples birthdays? Names?

alt. www.independent.co.uk/news/people/oscar-pistorius-returns-to-twitter-with-four-bizarre-messages-you-have-the-ability-to-make-a-difference-in-someones-life-9604211.html
Looks like Pistorious is turning to God in a last ditch attempt to save himself from jail. let's see how the Lord plays this one out.
Have you ever used religion as an excuse to get out of something?

Altalt. What song is the soundtrack to your life?
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 11:54, 106 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
That Pistorius has got such a lack of.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 11:55, Reply)
He really does.
His whole defense is just so.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:02, Reply)
Get a diary, I find these to be helpful, regarding times and dates.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 11:59, Reply)
GAYDO!!

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:02, Reply)
Just shove it all in google calendar, innit.
I've even got me bins in there!
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:04, Reply)
this^
If its not in my calendar synced with work/phone it ent happening
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:05, Reply)
I've finally bit the bullet and set up a shared spreadsheet in google docs.
It contains the ingredients required to cook the stuff I frequently cook so I can do a shopping list at work.

Being an adult is great.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:13, Reply)
You're not doing much alter the perception of you as having a lack of.
I seem to struggle more with people's names as I get older. Or it could just be that there are more people than there were and it's hard to remember them all.

Alt: I try to use atheism as an excuse to get out of things.

Altalt: Stupid question.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:05, Reply)
Jay struggles with putting faeces to names

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:06, Reply)
I don't

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:11, Reply)
The name thing I put down to just not giving a shit about someones name until I decide its worth remembering

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:18, Reply)
Altalt: I'd like to think it would be The World by New Model Army, but I'm inclined to think the Benny Hill theme tune is probably more accurate.
Chicken wrap, banana, an apple.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:06, Reply)
Hole in my shoe

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Traffic or Neil?

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Neil

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:08, Reply)
snake in my boot!

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:08, Reply)
You silly sod.
I think this is probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Are work going to shift your holiday or are you fucked?

Alt: pistorius is such a cunt.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Pistorius is a right cunt innee?

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:09, Reply)
Proper.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:10, Reply)
I still need a gif of him running on stumps.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2681890/Pistorius-youve-never-seen-Leaked-footage-shows-paralympian-stumps-enacting-moment-shot-Reeva-Steenkamp-bathroom-door.html
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:14, Reply)
thats pretty fucking weird

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:22, Reply)
it looks like he has little feet on the stumps.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:36, Reply)
I have a fucking useless memory for anything that needs doing
but an amazing one for shit facts and useless information. Its really annoying.

AltAlt:
Freefalling - Tom Petty
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:08, Reply)
So what you're saying here is that you can't count or work calendars.
I have decided that I am in favour of assisted suicide. I suggest we start with you.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:10, Reply)
Oh. Apparently I booked the right week off at work and still managed to buy train tickets for a week later.
Silly sod.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:12, Reply)
You're a thick cunt.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:15, Reply)
This man knows his onions ^

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:20, Reply)
I don't deny it.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:21, Reply)
I've turned up to a gig a day late before.
Whilst thick, it's not as thick as booking travel a whole week out.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:15, Reply)
My friend went to the airport a day early, once.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:16, Reply)
I booked the wrong flight once and had to fork out £170 on another ticket.
I just shouldn't be trusted with admin
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:22, Reply)
Just how often do you fuck this up?

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:24, Reply)
So far about 3 times.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:27, Reply)
And now you know why the PPI claims are so high
Someone keeps fucking them up
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:28, Reply)
Oh and one winter I woke up, panicked and attempted torush to the airport 5am
My flight was at 6pm.

I only worked it out when waiting for the bus I thought to myself 'I could swear these displays are 24 hour'. I did wonder why the town was unusually quiet when walking through it.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:17, Reply)
i bought tickets for the crows off ebay
when i looked for our seats on the o2 website, i couldn't find the stand, but meh. we got there.... security guard checked the tickets.... checked them again....

THEY'RE ON AT WEMBLEY, LOVE.

ffs. so we skanked it all the way over to wembley, only to find it looked suspiciously quiet. yep. postponed until may (this was december). fucking ebay seller didn't think to tell me, oh no.

i was not popular that evening.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:21, Reply)
Who?

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:26, Reply)
counting? black? Sheryl?

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:27, Reply)
sports?

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:29, Reply)
counting

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Oh, then yeah I'd understand
I'd be pretty pissed of if someone tried to take me to a counting crows concert.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:33, Reply)
alt speaking of mentals on twitter
https://twitter.com/gazza8gascoigne
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:21, Reply)
Is it a parody? Or his actual deranged mind.
I don't trust no blue ticks.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:23, Reply)
and there's not one mention of KFC

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:24, Reply)
Oh no, he's not dead again, is he?

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:25, Reply)
There's a rumour going round on Twitter that Princess Diana has died.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:31, Reply)
Fuck off.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:33, Reply)
That's not a halo, it's the fuckin steering wheel/

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:48, Reply)
Happy Bastille Day to Kroney.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:37, Reply)
I had to bling my daughter's scooter up in French stuff today

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:40, Reply)
So many euphemisms, so little time...

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:42, Reply)
^

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:45, Reply)
Onions and a Baguette yeah?

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:42, Reply)
Ended up making a French flag for it
Someone did turn up with a string of onions on theirs and a basket full of garlic
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:43, Reply)
I hope the flag was white.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:44, Reply)
haha

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:44, Reply)
Cheers, Dopey.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:53, Reply)
I've never been wrong in my entire life
Altalt: The Intense Humming of Evil
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:43, Reply)
That newslink was from February.
I can't win today
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:54, Reply)
There we go.
news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/july/14/default.stm

More fuckin Iraq.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:55, Reply)
alt alt: alright, by Cast

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:55, Reply)
Supergrass

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:58, Reply)
Well that escalated quickly

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:04, Reply)
Hahahaha

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:06, Reply)
E17

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:11, Reply)
Deep

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:13, Reply)
Ventura Highway by America
It perfectly encapsulates my sunny disposition, easy-going optimism and wind-in-my-hair free spirit.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:57, Reply)
9-5 by Dolly Parton

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:04, Reply)
altalt. 20th Century Boy cos im well cool.
It's my ringtone.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 12:59, Reply)
altalt: cliff richard - summer holiday

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:00, Reply)
Just remember, you can't take Lemmy with you.
metro.co.uk/2014/07/14/two-live-parrots-found-in-elmo-doll-after-couple-attempt-to-smuggle-them-over-border-4797281/
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:06, Reply)
its okay im not going anywhere

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:07, Reply)
those people are evil
how could you do that to two innocent little birds? they must have been hot and terrified.

cunts.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:28, Reply)
nu fred pls

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:08, Reply)
I just opened the wrong hole on my pepper shaker and dumped about half of its contents into my soup.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:32, Reply)
I did that with a chilli shaker on Friday
My spaghetti was HOT
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:39, Reply)
when my parents had just gotten married, they had his boss and wife round for dinner.
the pepper shaker lid fell off, and my dad's boss' wife dropped half the canister of white pepper into her dinner. before anyone could blink, my mother whipped the plate away and swapped her plate with my dad's, saying smoothly, "oh he loves pepper."

he still struggles not to sneeze by default if you bring up that story some 40 years later.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:44, Reply)
I only eat it because I didn't know what else to do with it. Too thick for the sink and too wet for the bin.
Could have tipped it down the bog, I suppose.

Are your Mum and Dad Terry and June?
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:47, Reply)
no
more like father ted and mrs doyle
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)
White pepper?

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:47, Reply)
i don't know, i wasn't there, i wasn't born for another 4 years
but he says it was white pepper.

which makes sense, because black pepper would most likely have been in a grinder.
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:49, Reply)
What we all used to use before fancy black pepper came along

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:49, Reply)
Taking the work away from hardworking white pepper.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:50, Reply)
Its more efficient

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:51, Reply)
i like white pepper on some things
scrambled eggs, cabbage (not together), for example
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:51, Reply)
White pepper is fit in tomato soup.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:51, Reply)
I did that and goatse.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:53, Reply)
one of the german players has a name like goatse
i lol'd
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:56, Reply)
I have turned up a day late for a flight, booked a hotel a day early for our anniversary then turned up on the day
Booked a hostel in Amsterdam a week late, turned up at a beer festival a week late, booked flights for 3 people but wih my name on every flight etc etc
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:55, Reply)
the last one is....
how???
(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 13:58, Reply)
I am a mystery unto myself

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 14:02, Reply)
Ok. You win.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 14:20, Reply)
WTJ

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 14:28, Reply)
All of you are utter, utter flids.

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 14:06, Reply)
Yer innit yer

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 14:21, Reply)
NEW THREAD

(, Mon 14 Jul 2014, 14:22, Reply)

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