Hi pricks!!
Enough I.T stuff now, yeah?
God what are they like?!
What you up to this weekend? I really want to know.
Christmas Markets and a little date on Sunday por moi.

alt. Ever had a great idea for a new invention? Sell it to us.
altalt. Dunno lol. Food normally gets you lot going. what's on your lunch agenda?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 10:51, 98 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I'm off to brixton to see caravan palace and slamboree
hopefully popping into jeffstock en route to scoring some loldrugs off a mate from brizzol who I'm meeting in the big smog.

Ive had an awesome invention idea, but I aint telling you.
( Glovington, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 10:54, Reply)

It's been done before.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:00, Reply)

but it involves the future?

( Glovington, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:16, Reply)

Record night tonight.
Not thought much beyond that.

Alt: My idea is simple. Basically you take whatever bit of technology that's new and put porn on it.

AltAlt: I'm eating Iranian sweets again, so I probably won't be hungry at lunchtime.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 10:59, Reply)

alt
www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00MMKRZOA?pc_redir=1414357759&robot_redir=1
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:04, Reply)

Supply and demand.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:07, Reply)

bit of wine bit of drugs bit of dancing bit of anal

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:02, Reply)

You might struggle to patent that

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:03, Reply)

reckon it'll be a hit on kickstarter though

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:06, Reply)

Seems like we are having a similar weekend

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:03, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:54, Reply)

Propery viewings tomorrow
out with the woman on sunday
( Kroney, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:02, Reply)

You should try further out.
It's depressing as fuck out here but at least the houses are cheaper.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:04, Reply)

yeah ... who wants joy in their life when you can own property somewhere shit

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:05, Reply)

^and this man should know

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:10, Reply)

I hate those fucking propists

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:04, Reply)

FUCKEN CATHOLICS

( Kroney, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:05, Reply)

CRATHOLICS
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 12:21, Reply)

I thought of a sellotape that when you cut it, a dye was released in the glue so you can always find the end

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:04, Reply)

But then it would look shit on whatever you stuck it on

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:55, Reply)

I'm going to meet some interwebz and drink some lager probably, catch up on some sleep and fight the budgie too.
Alt: I had a good idea for a paint roller attachment, dunno if it's been done now and I'm not looking as I'm not bothered and won't be doing anything about it myself anyway.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:05, Reply)

alt: Rather than pay for a curmudgeonly, depressive prick to come in and properly sort our IT
I'm just going to dump it on some poor prick that doesn't know one end of a patch panel from the other and watch him slowly lose his optimism and faith in humanity, instead.

BIGMONEYSAVINGS
( Kroney, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:05, Reply)

Going to play Lazer quest with some other "adults" and get drunk
Alt. I invented a popular social media platform but some Jew nicked it from me and threatened to fuck me up if I tried to stop him.
AltAlt. No Lunch today, big BBC person coming down so I have to work through
( Peej, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:07, Reply)

does laserquest even exist anymore?

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:08, Reply)

It's all about nerf guns these days
Well it was last year, maybe there's something newer now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:11, Reply)

Laser quest is still a thing?!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:09, Reply)

real men go paintballing

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:09, Reply)

Have you ever been paintballing?

( Peej, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:11, Reply)

Not since his mate got blinded.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Yep

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:15, Reply)

I bet you got shot in the dick and spent the rest of the day having it rubbed better in the café

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:16, Reply)

Well then you just proved yourself wrong!

( Peej, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Oh YOU!!!
I was well butch. I was having dynamite sticks threw at me by the "lads" and everything. it was like being in Beirut
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:23, Reply)

When did you last go to Beirut?

( Peej, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:23, Reply)

I was there with Kate Adie in the mid nineties

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Last time Bei came to his house?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:28, Reply)

ZING

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:23, Reply)

when you say "real men" do you mean "lard-arsed office plebs from Slough who are too shit even to join the Territorials"?

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:13, Reply)

They still have laser quest?

( Peej, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:09, Reply)

Woah you can still do lazer questing????!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Is laserquest still going?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:10, Reply)

should we even be celebrating laserquest?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:11, Reply)

lazerqueer more like

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:12, Reply)

GAYZER

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Alt: Pro - Pizzas
You get home from the pub and get a nice hot pizza delivered by a hooker and a BJ is included in the price of the meal...
Nosh and a Nosh is the tag line
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:11, Reply)

*calls lawyer*

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:12, Reply)

what about
"Deep Pan and Throat"?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:16, Reply)

Most girls won't do that (not for less than £50 anyway)
wouldn't want to get in trouble with the ASA.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Exactly

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:23, Reply)

Gob stuffed crust

( Glovington, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:19, Reply)

And my new mexican place
Titwanks and Tortillas
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:26, Reply)

+ that your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:35, Reply)

oh very good
that's today's earworm sorted
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:37, Reply)

That featured in a SF novel from the 90s
Only Forward by Michael Marshall Smith.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:35, Reply)

was 'Spares' by him?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Yep

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:37, Reply)

I did not know this
he must have time travelled stolen my idea and then gone back in time to put it in print prior to me thinking of it... sneaky bastard
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:55, Reply)

Hi GeordieJay
I'm toying with the idea of getting ripped to the tits somewhere in town and losing the weekend. Either that, or getting a nice new pot plant from Homebase.
( broadsword w⚓, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:23, Reply)

How about getting ripped to the tits in Homebase?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Holy fucking shit good idea

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:27, Reply)

on pot

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Homebase is hardcore on a weekend, man. Take it easy.

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:27, Reply)

I find just so long as I'm with people on the same level I can handle Homebase
I couldn't do Ikea though, that shit is proper hardcore
( broadsword w⚓, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:31, Reply)

I went to Ikea on a bank holiday, once.
I barely made it out alive.
( Kroney, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:34, Reply)

I've done that once, it leaves you with PTSD
If you must go there, 9pm is the time, they're open till 10 some nights.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:36, Reply)

PTHC more like!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Obsessed!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:47, Reply)

dude ... fuck

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:36, Reply)

It was every man for himself. I did things I'm not proud of. Things I can't forget.
Sometimes I wake up because I hear somebody screaming...only to realise that it was me.
( Kroney, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:39, Reply)

I love the smell of NÄPÅLM in the morning.....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:46, Reply)

getting ripped to the
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:39, Reply)

looking at new carpets, studying tax bollocks and drinking whisky
Oh yer and buying Weatherall tickets
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:35, Reply)

al gir
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:36, Reply)

nah m8, not fust about weather chicks innit

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:38, Reply)

Date tonight
Jeffstock IV: The Glovening tomorrow.

Alt: The Sausage Jockey: A spring clip in the shape of a little man with bandy legs that stops a cheap sausage from bursting.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:41, Reply)

OOooooOOooOOOh get you with your date
Im still lolling at that tweet from last night.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:46, Reply)

Stole it off my brother's FB status
God knows where he got it from.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 12:22, Reply)

Shopping, swimming, cleaning and cooking
They're doing half price Beef Brisket in Lidl at the mo so I might get that in for Sunday.

alt The Opinion Pole - for shoving up the arse of whoever you don't agree with

altalt Might go to McDonalds
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:48, Reply)

Cheers for the heads up. I was looking for something to slow cook this weekend.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 12:05, Reply)

I might get up in a bit.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 12:08, Reply)

easy now

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 12:10, Reply)

Boozy late night last night.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 12:11, Reply)

Alright.
I saw a sandwich in Boots. The ingredients included 'festive chutney' - I thought of you.
( Muns, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 12:26, Reply)

<3

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 12:35, Reply)

ha!

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 12:37, Reply)