What was the longest yo took to sober up?
It's a godd 18 hours since my last drink but I doubt I'd pas a breathalyser right now

Alt: How would you convice me to have sex with you?

AltAlt: Tell me how to kill another offtopicer and get away with it
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 15:48, 120 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I've managed to forget, fortunately.
Alt: Are you worth having sex with?

Altalt: However you wanted to with most of them. I doubt many people would care or even notice.
( Muns, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 15:50, Reply)

I am rather good at the sex

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 15:53, Reply)

Go on....

( Muns, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 15:54, Reply)

nah

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:09, Reply)

Er, yes I am

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:20, Reply)

not what I heard

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:22, Reply)

Well you should try having sex instead of listening to others you filthy perv

( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:24, Reply)

when i was at university, i was unbelievably pissed on ropey 90% proof gin that my friend brought back from the philippines
took me 24 hours to stop vomming and 48 hours to stop feeling drunk. i still hate gin.

alt: no offence love, i don't chew the carpet.

altalt: choke tangles by shoving your pork down his throat and leaving a suicide note saying, "i couldn't resist it." make boyce bleed to death through the ears by making him listen to steps on an endless loop. finish off dozer by shoving 40 hamsters up his arse and leaving a suicide note saying, "i couldn't resist it."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 15:58, Reply)

It's hypothetical.
How would you go about lezzing off?
( Muns, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:03, Reply)

with a fork

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:06, Reply)

Typical sex addict.
If you were looking for romance, you'd be spooning.
( Muns, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:09, Reply)

spooning only leads to forking

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:14, Reply)

90% proof is 45% which is basically just gin

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:07, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2440181
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:08, Reply)

Sobering up is for losers
Alt: Nah, you're alright ta.

Altalt: Gaz Windy Pig, he's your man.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:03, Reply)

Still haven't bothered getting up.
Starting to feel like today has been somewhat wasted.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:05, Reply)

Get a taxi to drop you a doner off, and deliver it to your bed, stopping by the fridge to grab a few tins.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:09, Reply)

Can I not just ask the Doris to get it for me?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:10, Reply)

Thought she was out, yeah, that's acceptable.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:20, Reply)

i have been known to order diet coke from dominos when truly dying and unable to make it out of bed
"no pizza?"

"fuck that, just bring me 10 bottles of diet coke and pour it all over me."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:21, Reply)

^council seeping from every clotted fat pore

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:24, Reply)

alcohol is metabolised at a fairly consistent rate despite all the twaddle folk say about food and shit
if you're still above the limit after 18 hours that means when you stopped drinking you were above about 0.35 which for an internet (i.e. fat) bird means averaging about 7 or 8 units an hour and unless you're a pretty serious drunk you'd probably have passed out

Hth
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:05, Reply)

this is why nobody likes going out with you
or talking to you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:07, Reply)

my mates aren't scared by basic mental arithmetic soz

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:10, Reply)

probably 36 hrs
3 bottles of wine at Friday lunchtime. Note, not at lunch. Was only barely functional Sunday morning.

Alt: any bloke who doesn't leave you thinking "blimey, he's catered to all my sexual needs and then some" after the first time obviously doesn't want to sleep with you a 2nd time. Were I single I'd probably have no idea where my next sexytimes was coming from so I'd do that. I'm such a catch.

AltAlt: Offer to sit on their faces, the bunch of filthy perverts.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:08, Reply)

I did once take some horrible brown pills that left me unable to function for nearly 24 hours and still pretty wankered after 36

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:08, Reply)

Newcastles venture in to the German lager market received mixed feedback......

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:12, Reply)

they looked like brewers yeast only the size of extra strong mints

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:13, Reply)

Berocca

( Muns, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:16, Reply)

like you on good day
on a good day with a degenerative brain disease
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:18, Reply)

Soz not sexing a bubbly internet bird.

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:15, Reply)

I'm not sure of the last time I was sober
Alt: By wearing my special Cosplay outfit...Yeah STONES AND DIGNITY

Alt::alt: Bully them relentlessly till they fall off their penny farthing
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:32, Reply)

Alright hare.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:44, Reply)

Yo DBT
I'm trying to season my new Wok any ideas?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:45, Reply)

go shove a wok up your cockend and shit out a stir fry

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:48, Reply)

Chicken or Pork stir fry? This is important

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:48, Reply)

tofu

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:50, Reply)

Sozz I'm not sure what that stands for

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:58, Reply)

Pork, I'm birded out.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:53, Reply)

NO BUDGIE CHAT

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 17:01, Reply)

Budgies are ace. Better than humans.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 17:41, Reply)

My Mate has a Goffin's cockatoo
Intelligent bird but tends to try to rip out earrings
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 17:44, Reply)

I bet you've had a cockatoo?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 17:46, Reply)

Wash, blast with heat dry, blast with oil for a while, wipe and eat. According to text from chef.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:56, Reply)

I've been watching this pissing myself laughing
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tko9a3xVTEE

Although I have been forrowing wis inructions
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 17:00, Reply)

Bit lacist m8
How's Nottingham?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 17:10, Reply)

alright, now the fucking ice has melted and I'm not talking about the wife lolz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 17:16, Reply)

#divorcelolz

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 17:40, Reply)

I donno, I don't drink that much really, probably a day or soo would be my longest.
Alt: I think it's you who needs to convince me.... I'm quite the catch really. What's your credentials? what's your fortay?

AltAlt: I'd fill up a little plastic money bag thing with rat-poison, at a bash, and then drop it on the floor of the bogs.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:46, Reply)

Hahaha
Clicking dis
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:48, Reply)

Fuck it.
I'm getting up.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:58, Reply)

Was that your answer to alt?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 16:59, Reply)

LOngest was 24 hours or so - I got very drunk in Kiev on Hetman vodka and felt like hammered shit for a very long time.
Alt: I'd just lick my own eyebrows

Altalt: Spiked drink, running car with pipe from the exhaust to the passenger cabin and a convincing suicide note.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 17:32, Reply)

Spiked drink, running car with pipe from the exhaust to the passenger cabin and a convincing suicide note
Get them locked up and repeatedly raped until they commit suicide
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 17:44, Reply)

I want my christmas tree back

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 18:23, Reply)

what did you do with it?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Jan 2015, 18:39, Reply)

not me, those cunt mods

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 18:48, Reply)

well, there's nothing you can do about those fucking stuck up shit bag wank holes.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Jan 2015, 18:55, Reply)

it's a sorry state of affairs

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 19:06, Reply)

There had better be some special icons for Epiphany

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 19:19, Reply)

I've got her first album

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 19:30, Reply)

I couldn't give you a specific amount of time, but a full day recovery has been needed before.
Alt: a sexy dance.

Altalt: I think we could probably see a lot of them off with alcohol poisoning and no one would suspect foul play. Or just kill dozer however you want, no one cares about him enough to check on him, and by the time someone stumbles across his body he'll be too rotten to be identified
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Jan 2015, 18:29, Reply)

^Lightweight

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 18:34, Reply)

^dingus

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 2 Jan 2015, 18:38, Reply)

I'm definitely going to get up shortly.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 18:52, Reply)

easy now

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 18:56, Reply)

good evening

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 18:54, Reply)

18 years.
alt. Big cock and I'll let you do ass play.

Altalt the usual way. Drugs and the neighbours pigs followed by quick lime
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 19:23, Reply)

Bindun see alt alt
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2440175
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 19:58, Reply)

alt: pretend to be over 18
unless you fancy a 3-way with rabidrodent in his marseille crack house
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 19:33, Reply)

Poor old Kroney

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 19:58, Reply)

tell you what, that 'french connection 2' is pretty grim

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 20:01, Reply)

Wouldn't know I never shopped in the first one

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 20:01, Reply)

I'm strictly Gap.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 20:03, Reply)

Next please

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 20:04, Reply)

there should be a feline clothing shop called topcat

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 20:05, Reply)

There should be a new thread called 'alright'.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 20:06, Reply)

check out the groove
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 20:07, Reply)

Woah, cool sound.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 20:15, Reply)

Stomped that f-shit

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 20:45, Reply)