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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Lunch thread.
All over YM's hideous visage and tit.

Watcha' 'avin?

Alt: Did you see that puff that is getting surgery to look like Jordan?

I'd want to look like Israel.

Altalt: What Middle Eastern country would you like/not to look like and why?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:36, 160 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

pint and some pork scratchings

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:37, Reply)

Proper BRITISH lunch.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:38, Reply)

and a heart attack. #oldandunfitlols
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:42, Reply)

we're still the same age, miserabella neverwett

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:44, Reply)

yeah.... we really aren't
b3ta.com/questions/Thepastwasrubbish/post2073653

i'm nowhere near 40 yet, greybeard, never mind being "40 something" 18 months ago. but maybe you'll get a cock balloon dobber for your 50th.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:45, Reply)

alright, granny grumps, whatever you want to believe

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:47, Reply)

Tell you what if you're not over forty then you look like shit for your age

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:50, Reply)

i assumed that was the purpose of the giganto bumbag
to cover up his unappealing face when needed
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:50, Reply)

It's actually full of a perfect latex replica of a small boys anus and has a small hole in the back for vagabonds penis
that way he can stimulate himself at the park with no one knowing
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:53, Reply)

whilst reading wikipedia entries and typing furiously on the internet at ALL TIMES

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:54, Reply)

?

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:58, Reply)

is anybody here not preoccupied with my physical appearance?
it's all very flattering and that but there's very little chance I'm going to fuck any of you except munster
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:55, Reply)

As far as I'm concerned
Everyone on this site is so ugly that no one can bare to communicate with them on a face to face basis, which is why they all spend so much time here.
(

Muns, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:57, Reply)

bear, not bare

(Good evening Good evening, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:06, Reply)

we definitely don't want to see him bare

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:08, Reply)

Beggars can't be choosers.
Surely?
(

Muns, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:12, Reply)

All the letters are correct, it's just the order that's wrong.
I therefore claim this to be as a result of a typographical error.

Summary: Fuck you.
(

Muns, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:09, Reply)

upset post

(Good evening Good evening, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:10, Reply)

^Upset at the lack of upset and claiming upset in an effort to upset.

(

Muns, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:13, Reply)

UPSET

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:18, Reply)

Unlikely
The letters that have transposed are not adjacent.

Tragic that you tried to lie about it.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:20, Reply)

he's bare making shit up yo

(Good evening Good evening, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:20, Reply)

^upset

(

Muns, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:52, Reply)

That much is certain

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:57, Reply)

Everyone was preoccupied with Joseph Merrick's appearance
not many people wanted to fuck him though.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:11, Reply)

If only he was alive now.
Speciality websites would offer a fortune.
(

Muns, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:14, Reply)

well no
not at your age
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:17, Reply)

yeah I'd probably give Jordan one

(Good evening Good evening, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:39, Reply)

Mate, it'd be a tit splash fest.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:40, Reply)

rude not to eh

(Good evening Good evening, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:42, Reply)

+ Knight

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:41, Reply)

He'd rather 'give it to you'

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:45, Reply)

And in return she'd give you many.
Many, many crabs.
(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:42, Reply)

might have lamb chops'n'chips, might not. i just don't know anymore.
today is ludicrously tedious.
(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:40, Reply)

DO IT!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:41, Reply)

Stop pressuring me

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:55, Reply)

Is this thread likely to have any tampon bodies in it?

(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:40, Reply)

whatever you need, treacs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:41, Reply)

is that what you want for lunch?

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:41, Reply)

Chompy's link scared me :(

(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:42, Reply)

i want to be your little baby tampon boy

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:44, Reply)

Sexy as double fuck.

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:45, Reply)

I don't think I could fit you, no not even an emaciated vegan like you, up my hoo-ha.

(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:45, Reply)

we'll never know until we try
pop your knees behind your ears and bite down on this strap
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:46, Reply)

I've never been so rigid.

(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:47, Reply)

What about that time you saw the enemy and didn't know whether to run, hide or surrender?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:51, Reply)

Isn't that what Prince Charles said to Camilla or something?

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:51, Reply)

Chicken and roast garlic soup.
I'd quite like to walk like an Egypshian.
(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:50, Reply)

Tom yum stir fry

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:51, Reply)

Is he going to get massive bolt on tits too?

(

Peej, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:52, Reply)

I certainly hope so.

(Good evening Good evening, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:53, Reply)

That's the next "mod" kroney has lined up for his golf

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:54, Reply)

There's a nice old 190E in the car garage next to my work.
I fancy nabbing it.
(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:59, Reply)

Good plan
do you have your "sweet"fleece yet?
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:03, Reply)

No :(
I'm getting worried.
(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:10, Reply)

P45 on the way m8
soz
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:17, Reply)

CAR CHAT
That's the one with the dog leg gear box, so reverse is where you would expect 1st to be,
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:04, Reply)

that's what you tell all the chicks

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:06, Reply)

The Cosworth had one because it was "race-derived"
No idea if the standard car has it.
(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:10, Reply)

The idea was that you could get 2nd to 3rd quicker so stay in the best power band

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:11, Reply)

Far as I remember only the Cosworth one had the Gertrag box
the others had normal merc engines and boxes.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:25, Reply)

Most Mercs are autoboxes though innit?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:12, Reply)

Only if Peter and Vernon aren't busy

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:55, Reply)

Strange names for your wife's tits

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 12:57, Reply)

you wouldn't think that if you'd seen them

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:10, Reply)

Green Thai Curry
alt. No but he should be set on fire.
altalt. BaghYD (Yes I know it's a capital city)
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:07, Reply)

Isn't that part of the procedure anyway?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:09, Reply)

I'd want to look like Iran
so that Jews didn't come anywhere near me.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:08, Reply)

Other countries don't often go for a drink with Iran, either.
Makes sense.
(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:11, Reply)

Iran isn't keen on women.
Makes sense.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:13, Reply)

It's odd that because, in my experience, Iranian women are very attractive

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:15, Reply)

^enjoys a luxuriant moustache on his women^

(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:15, Reply)

Lord Flashheart
forever in our hearts
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:17, Reply)

agreed
and they like western men because Iranian men are all cunts.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:19, Reply)

part of me wants to agree with this
loads of iranians in my part of town, nommy nommy shops and restaurants, and some very beautiful men and women. also the embassy, although that tends to have lots of people shouting outside it.

the other part wants to say, what, your experience in coventry?
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:22, Reply)

I have never left Coventry

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:24, Reply)

I'll have a dump first and take it from there

(

$$ ✅, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:11, Reply)

Good lad.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:13, Reply)

I'm still a little upset at the news that I'm unlikely to ever have sex with Shambles
I mean, I suppose I always knew deep down, it's just, y'know, hard seeing it in black and grey.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:14, Reply)

In just the last thread he had me putting my legs behind my ears. For nothing!
He's such a user.
(

Kroney, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:17, Reply)

you never know
he was bleating on about doing boys yesterday, so if the wind is in the right direction, he might manage you
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:18, Reply)

I could pass for a boy in a certain light

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:19, Reply)

is that light
midnight?
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:26, Reply)

It's a black light

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:30, Reply)

bit racist m8

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:34, Reply)

Afternoon
I had a rather large cheese savoury sarnie from Fenwicks on rye&onion, with spicy onions, carrots and beetroot. It was enormous and fucking NOM

I think I'd like to look like Saudi
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:15, Reply)

You wouldnt want that
they don't allow Scooby Doo there...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:20, Reply)

Your gay dog would be for the high jump.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:23, Reply)

haha i forgot about the gay dog
one day we should have an animal bash. your gay cat and sporters'/windy's gay dogs and our gay yellow and purple birds.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:27, Reply)

I will bring my cool proper dog

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:28, Reply)

Sounds a bit gay

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:28, Reply)

and dozer's hamster

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)

My cat would win all those fights.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)

as if
it would still be sitting on the starting line looking around with its big fat moonface
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)

I could bring my red setter hahahaha

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)

nakers isn't here to stand up for you now

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:30, Reply)

Can you not buy crisps in anything smaller than 50g bags now?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:21, Reply)

you can

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:22, Reply)

Our resident expert on crisps, potnoodles
and cooking for one in a council bedsit.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:23, Reply)

S'alright, I managed to eat all of them

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:25, Reply)

does anyone have amazon prime AND a kindle? Or know about it?
Q: Does Amazon Prime allow you to download onto the Kindle for free and watch movies later? Or is Prime only good if you are streaming on a Wi_Fi connection?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:21, Reply)

bit.ly/1yfImfy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:24, Reply)

I can't be bothered to sift through all the bullshit.
You lot are mostly techy shut ins, a quick answer would be helpful.

I am happy to reciprocate on matters from the outside world.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:28, Reply)

What's it like out there?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:28, Reply)

It's not for you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)

I dunno I dont have either

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:28, Reply)

Classic, 'dog!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)

It did say that prime instant is only available over wifi and cant be downloaded if that helps

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:33, Reply)

I've looked now. Thanks to you introducing me to Google.
You can download Prime but it has time limits on it i.e. it expires after a specified period.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:46, Reply)

The Sky Go app does the same
You can get stuff for 30 days but it lasts 48 hours from starting to watch it
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:47, Reply)

same with amazon.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:50, Reply)

me neither
i have real books
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)

me too.
But am looking for hols etc.

I now have £1,000 worth of regs that I want to take with me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:31, Reply)

What does it feel like inside a ladies front bottom?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)

It's not for you.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:30, Reply)

you shouldn't be allowed out in public you ogre

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:29, Reply)

whats it like to be taken for every penny you have by a tart you married in las vegas ?

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:32, Reply)

what's it like to be unable to clap?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:44, Reply)

i bet you've got the clap

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:48, Reply)

and four functioning limbs

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:50, Reply)

3.8

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:53, Reply)

and counting

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:53, Reply)

But only up to 15

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:01, Reply)

well it sounds like you don't regret a minute of it and would do it all over again
keyword: mug
(Mr Udagawa, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:50, Reply)

At a stroke.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:53, Reply)

Could you stop referencing an unfortunate personal tragedy. kthanx

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:57, Reply)

hahahahaha.
why would I do that?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:03, Reply)

You're a court jew seeking to deflect attention with your semitic wiles

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:09, Reply)

That's a pretty one sided argument.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:11, Reply)

he is right though

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:14, Reply)

The left is pretty much useless now

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:15, Reply)

I thought afflictions were to be mocked?

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:03, Reply)

Exactly
take my tragically small penis for example
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:06, Reply)

I'd rather not, thanks

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:06, Reply)

Thats not what you said the other day

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:07, Reply)

Was THAT what that was?

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:07, Reply)

Stll, at least between your teeth is clean now

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:09, Reply)

True

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:18, Reply)

Good afternoon.

(Good evening Good evening, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:31, Reply)

Not really, no.
It's freezing, I'm all alone and the local shop has run out of shortbread or whatever the fuck it is scottish people eat.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:37, Reply)

Raw fat and sugar.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:40, Reply)

Deep fried hamster

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:41, Reply)

neeps and tatties and haggis
which i think is scottish for shit, shit and shit.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:49, Reply)

I'm having beer
Alt: Jordan had surgery to look like Jordan so why shouldn't a chutney?
Altalt: I'd want to look like Qatar - the only country to begin with a Q.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:49, Reply)

Qatar

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:50, Reply)

what about Q Ba

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:53, Reply)

Qador

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:54, Reply)

Qolombia

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:54, Reply)

Qanada
Qreenland
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 13:59, Reply)

eQuador

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:20, Reply)

*ahem*

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:24, Reply)

thought you meant the pumpkins album

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:26, Reply)

mellon Qollie

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:27, Reply)

Q4YM

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:22, Reply)

I had Huevos Rancheros
I'm not a big fan of scrambled egg but jalapenos and hot sauce and chorizo and stuff really lift them up.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 15 Jan 2015, 14:40, Reply)

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