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newsletter subject line compo
come one bunnies
write some funnies
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:54, archived)
As dirty as an Essex hospital.
edited
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:54, archived)
eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:55, archived)
there's a dirty hospital in Essex.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:55, archived)
*makes note not to need to go to hospital*
thanks for the warning
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)
some hospital in essex (not exeter)is not clean or something, it's all over the news.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:56, archived)
ah

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:58, archived)
Dunno where you got Exeter from.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:05, archived)
he's obsessed with me
so it's playing on his mind
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:08, archived)
It was his was his constant rabbiting on about Exeter that forced me to step him.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:13, archived)
I don't think anyone could hold that against you
it was a valuable public service
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:15, archived)
I doubt they'll listen to you
naughty step boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:55, archived)
anyone with any sense has got me on ignore.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)
I've totally got you on ignore

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:58, archived)
That's good, everyone can reply to me saying what they really think of you now.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:01, archived)
or not

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:17, archived)
everyone is too busy ignoring you

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:19, archived)
more highly bred than a hilltop bakery

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:55, archived)
as inbred as a sandwich filling.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)
That's fucking awful

(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)
fortunately I stole it from somewhere
so my hands are clean
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:58, archived)
it's free, you do not need Dubai it.

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:55, archived)
Fergie: Body off Baywatch, Face off OH MY GOD WHAT IS IT?! KILL IT!

(likeajackhammer, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:56, archived)
Shove it up your cock

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)
Words for your eyeholes.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)

Words Music
(likeajackhammer, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:58, archived)
TONY BLAIR KNEW ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER TEN DAYS BEFORE IT HAPPENED

(__, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:59, archived)
PSYCHO CHOMP DIED FOR HIS SINS

(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:59, archived)
Printing this on toilet paper will make wiping a more fulfilling experience

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:59, archived)
FREE THE PSYCHO ONE

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:59, archived)
FLOODING YOUR INTERNETS LIKE A CUMBRIAN RIVER

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:00, archived)
BANISH FRIDAY AFTERNOON BOREDOM

(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:00, archived)
Pissing on your war memorial

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:00, archived)
I do like that

(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:01, archived)
JEREMY CLARKSON'S ARSE BASSOON

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:00, archived)
IT TOOK ME ALL MORNING TO WRITE THIS, SO READ IT YOU FUCKS.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:00, archived)
You might enjoy some of these witty links we have collated for your amusement

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:01, archived)
There's sewage and river water all over your Cock and Mouth

(likeajackhammer, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:01, archived)
HOLY SHIT YOU'VE GOT BREASTS!?

(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:01, archived)
i like breasts

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:05, archived)
I'VE FUCKING SHAT MYSELF AND YOU'RE ALL JUST GOING TO THINK I WANT ATTENION :((

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:01, archived)
VINDICATION!
"Dear Mr Noit

Thank you for your e-mail concerning the discussion about homeopathy on
'Breakfast' earlier.

We agree that the debate this morning was not as balanced as it should have
been. Unfortunately, the person we had hoped to have on the programme
couldn't make it. Therefore, we have set up a further discussion on the
subject for Saturday's programme in order to explore the scientific
argument more fully.

Best wishes

BBC Breakfast"
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:13, archived)
i bet you feel like a right cunt now

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:14, archived)
I'm certainly a correct and vindicated cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:14, archived)
but..

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:16, archived)
Where is PART ONE of this obviously epic anecdote?

(__, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:14, archived)
Basically, BBC showed bad science and me and Badger dun complained.
Citations here, then here and also see Badger's popular page post.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:17, archived)
Oh, it's vanished
still here though- www.b3ta.com/talk/6564662
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:18, archived)
Reply with
"Thank you for your reply,

I've placed my glass of water near some oranges and I hope the vitamin C will leak across and will aid me in relaxing when I drink said glass of H2O.

Yours,
Sebastian Cockgrab"
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:15, archived)
Sebastian Cockgrab is a wonderful name

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:20, archived)
for a wonderful man
*swoons*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:24, archived)
CUNTS HAVEN'T FUCKING REPLIED TO ME

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:34, archived)
You clearly didn't come across as upset enough, ONLINE.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:35, archived)
get your mitts off my tits
not really a newsletter title, but i've been singing it all morning. perhaps it could be adapted
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:01, archived)
hello this is the newsletter i hope you like it

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:02, archived)
As written by Gary Delaney

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:02, archived)
Still sniggering at Cockermouth getting wet.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:02, archived)
oh now this

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:04, archived)
Or maybe 'Still sniggering at a sopping wet Cockermouth'

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:06, archived)
Salty after taste for flood ridden cockermouth
nah...
(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:04, archived)
Wanrning: Contains geese.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:03, archived)
Oh JA :(

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:04, archived)
HONK

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:04, archived)
HOOM

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:09, archived)
HOOM

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:12, archived)
HOOM!

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:15, archived)
Don't pretend that you read the newsletter, just because Rob is here.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:05, archived)
I wish Sexface was dead

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:03, archived)
FISHING RODS, WEAPONS OF BASS DESTRUCTION.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:03, archived)
Free nuclear explosion inside
(with chips)
(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:04, archived)
grannyrelief73 sent you a flirt on adultfriendfinder.com

(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:05, archived)
CHOMPS IN FIFTEEN PENCE SHOCKER

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:05, archived)
+1 Inbox

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:05, archived)
Replying loads of times to try and get my answer in the newsletter and feel popular for a few minutes in my empty shallow life

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:06, archived)
a whole month left of NOT BEING CHRISTMAS

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:06, archived)
i wish you could get this message to the world
so i'm voting for this
(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:08, archived)
YAY IT'S NEARLY CHRISTMAS

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:14, archived)
get knotted you horrible christmas fucking pixie
since when do lights go up a month before christmas, it's fucking stupid commercialised shite
(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:15, archived)
*rages*

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:16, archived)
WAH WAH WAH

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:23, archived)
my nappy needs changing, ALRITE?

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:25, archived)
He gets a piece of coal from Chirstmas...
pushed up his bum by his stepdad.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:27, archived)
Fuck off, Grinch.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:17, archived)
you're only a grinch if you hate christmas
it's okay to hate going on about christmas when it isn't christmas
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:26, archived)
spacegrinch

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:27, archived)
*shines black torch at you*

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:30, archived)
was that the grinch?
i forget
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:33, archived)
you'll be sick of it by the time it gets here
i'm really excited about christmas, if i'm honest. but i do think decorations and christmas music and stuff shouldn't happen till it's actually christmas time (and shopping, but that's just disorganisation)
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:17, archived)
EDWARD WOOD SOFT

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:06, archived)
this doesn't even make sense, I'm going to stop. drinking Del Boy cocktails from Revolutions all afternoon doesn't help.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:07, archived)
you cockney ponce

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:16, archived)
you Milton Keynes banned boredom machine

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:17, archived)
Free text file inside.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:06, archived)
Some of our best friends are Baby Ps

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:07, archived)
Remember... No Russian.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:07, archived)
Just speak english with a heavy russian accent
They will never guess
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:15, archived)
Stitched together by internet sweatshop workers.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:07, archived)
We couldn't be arsed with a subject line. Use your imagination. Think of something funny. Probably involving 14 inches in Cockermouth. There you go.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:08, archived)
TEA IS FOR MUGS

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:09, archived)
BLUE STAR'S FANNY LOOKS LIKE A NODDING PELICAN

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:10, archived)
My vote is here.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:14, archived)
STOP GOING ON ABOUT MY FANNY

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:24, archived)
HAHA :D
I do really need to stop going on about yours and Esme's fannies. I can't help myself, I think it's funny and it makes me laugh thinking about women's crotchular regions as chucking ewoks.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:29, archived)
it's because esme isn't here

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:33, archived)
If you read this then you're gay (or straight, depending)

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:10, archived)
I shot the peadotrition, but I did not shoot the peadofile.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:11, archived)
that song's going to be in my head all day now

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:13, archived)
I've only got one leg.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:11, archived)
How does it smell?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:12, archived)
Jamaica

(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:53, archived)
You cant drown in oil. you suffocate.
SCIENCE FACT
(I helped save b3ta! Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:12, archived)
HAPPY BRUCEDRIX DAY!

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:13, archived)
HOORAY!
*dons gi*
*prods you with a guitar*
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:15, archived)
*Kung Fu kicks an afro*

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:18, archived)
not saying I hate black people or anything, obviously :S

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:31, archived)
Tea: Still Rubbish

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:17, archived)
welcome to spastic island

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:18, archived)
This is making me laugh lots, and I don't know why.
I think I'm going to go home.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:21, archived)
it's from a tv show called cast offs
you should watch it, it's good
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:24, archived)
coming at you like a tactical nuclear penguin

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:18, archived)
NEWSLETTER? MORE LIKE BOO, A SWEATER!

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:21, archived)
It should be this. Every week.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:25, archived)
when you buy a phone off your dad, don't look at the photos

(I helped save b3ta! parttimedogfish is a Born-Again Reincarnationist, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:22, archived)
i wont, my dad isn't so tight he'd sell me his old phone

(I helped save b3ta! Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:26, archived)
I could have swarn it was just frowned upon.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:26, archived)
is a swarn a very posh swan?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:30, archived)
If you read one newsletter this week, you're still shit

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:34, archived)
The Queen and John Major have had a fight

(I helped save b3ta! Obz Click, ting, stamps, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 15:54, archived)
THAT NEWSLETTER YOU NEVER READ ANYMORE, BUT CAN'T QUITE BE BOTHERED TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 16:02, archived)