eveninh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:48, archived)

hey ssg - what do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?
a small medium at large
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:54, archived)

that is a classic joke,
top notch
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:55, archived)

why doesn't jesus buy beer?
hebrews
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:56, archived)

teehee!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:58, archived)

ha!

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:44, archived)

typical Jew

( mongychops, Fri 2 May 2014, 20:41, archived)

alright mongy

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 21:09, archived)

am I too late to say fuck you to mr horrible?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:06, archived)

fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:11, archived)

how are you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:35, archived)

i don't like meanness so please try not to be mean in my thread cheers

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:24, archived)

ok

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:34, archived)

cheers

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:51, archived)

alright gobbo, i went and had a look at a watch i had ordered, the sd4000, i'm not sure i want it anymore

( mongychops, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:30, archived)

that's a rather spiffing timepiece
how many watches do you actually own?
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:45, archived)

currently 5, but I was probably gonna flip one to get the sea dweller

( mongychops, Fri 2 May 2014, 20:29, archived)

ah that is a shame can you get a refund?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:51, archived)

I don't have to buy it, they seem to be able to sell them easy

( mongychops, Fri 2 May 2014, 20:31, archived)

gello

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:33, archived)

official fuck you thread

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:53, archived)

official?
Well that's peculiar
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:55, archived)

FUCK YOU

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:56, archived)

YOU STUPID GIANT HIPPY
Hey babe
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:57, archived)

fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:10, archived)

official don't care reply

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:57, archived)

COME ON, GET INVOLVED

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:58, archived)

ok... erm... get lost?

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:06, archived)

fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:11, archived)

no, fuck you
no returns. ner.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:13, archived)

I'm not sure you can do that in an official fuck you thread
I'll have to consult the mods.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:14, archived)

No, you can't.
So FUCK YOU.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:18, archived)

:(
please don't ban me.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:46, archived)

^upset^

( $$ ✅, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:06, archived)

fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:11, archived)

fine Be like that :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:09, archived)

fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:11, archived)

bit gay

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:18, archived)

homophobe
Fuck you.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:25, archived)

Why am I shit?

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 2 May 2014, 16:40, archived)

scouser?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 May 2014, 16:42, archived)

your profile is horrible

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 2 May 2014, 16:44, archived)

No, my profile is horrible

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 16:49, archived)

your everything is horrible

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:20, archived)

I think you're lovely.

( $$ ✅, Fri 2 May 2014, 16:45, archived)

You ain't bad
Nothing like the LOVELY stuj though
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:03, archived)

"the first step to healing is admitting you have a problem"
we are all here for you brb
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:19, archived)

I'm not
I've been waiting to post what I'm having for dinner since noon. Who's brb?
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:44, archived)

what are you having for dinner...
...on this day in 5 years?!

*maniacal laugh*
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:47, archived)

UR FACE LOL

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:56, archived)

pork 'n' beans
scavenged from a derelict Vault
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:12, archived)

bought a slow cooker the other day
it is in the process of revolutionising my life. chuck stuff in, leave it for a few hours and tasty food comes out. it's ace. having another stew tonight.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 17:55, archived)

I too am fond of the slow cooker

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:08, archived)

what's for dinner then?
srsly - need new recipes - gonna be sick of stews soon...
so far as i can tell so far there are only three recipes in the world anyway - stuff, stuff with chilli to make it a chilli and stuff with curry to make it a curry.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:11, archived)

Might have something Italian
I guess that comes under "stuff"
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:40, archived)

Or "stuff with tomatoes"

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:40, archived)

so far everything has been "with tomatoes"
4 billion years of evolution and this is the best we can come up with? has no one considered no tomatoes yet?
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:43, archived)

probably
but tomatoes are pretty fucking good
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:00, archived)

not as good as no tomatoes
they've won me many an internet argument
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:14, archived)

fuck it
shepherd's pie
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 2 May 2014, 19:43, archived)

oh man...
you win
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 May 2014, 20:05, archived)

Well, this is 'shit'.
Why are you shit?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 2 May 2014, 12:36, archived)

two cats fighting last night woke me up so i'm quite tired
otherwise my posts would be full of wit and wonder
( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 2 May 2014, 12:38, archived)

I am also hungover and knackered
Hating on work as usual
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 2 May 2014, 12:48, archived)

Let's hate together
whether times are good, bad, happy or sad.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 2 May 2014, 12:52, archived)

YES JAY
Fuck the system
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 2 May 2014, 13:32, archived)

shut up you pair of queers

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 13:38, archived)

Shove it down your japs eye and shit out a rainbow, cunt.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 2 May 2014, 13:53, archived)

only 269,211 posts until we hit 8 million talk posts
imagine the fun we will have along the way
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:05, archived)

Do you mind if I don't?
What are the odds that that milestone will be "Morning".
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:06, archived)

or wanky wank wank wank

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:15, archived)

my current projection for the 8 millionth post is 19/08/2015
but that's based on average posting since the 7 millionth post, so doesn't accurately reflect the decline in posting
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:19, archived)

Posting to help us to reach this target

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:21, archived)

here are the stats i have collected, how many days it took to reach a million posts

date	    posts (mil)	days	
19/08/2015	8	1763	projected
02/05/2014	7.7	1289	today
21/10/2010	7	587	
13/03/2009	6	282	
04/06/2008	5	216	
01/11/2007	4	191	
24/04/2007	3	201	
05/10/2006	2	311	
28/11/2005	1	472	
13/08/2004	0	

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:30, archived)

That's some good work there doves

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:35, archived)

he is a math genius

( mongychops, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:37, archived)

i should probably do my actual job now

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:38, archived)

fuck that, make a graph!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 2 May 2014, 15:22, archived)

fine
i.imgur.com/012WbKe.jpg
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 16:11, archived)

This is so awful it's brilliant.
/ac
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 2 May 2014, 16:24, archived)

cheers

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 2 May 2014, 16:43, archived)

youve not taken into account the downward trend
you stupid prick
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 2 May 2014, 18:33, archived)

along with 269,000 of those beforehand

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:22, archived)

i'm not, i might have a nap tho

( mongychops, Fri 2 May 2014, 13:14, archived)

My dad is going to prison for 8 years

( $$ ✅, Fri 2 May 2014, 14:55, archived)

Little ray of sunshine you, aren't you?
oHH... It's a topical 'joke'

As you were.
#NeverForget
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 2 May 2014, 15:17, archived)

I'm not sure.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 2 May 2014, 16:40, archived)

you say it best, when you say nothing at all

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 11:16, archived)

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( mongychops, Fri 2 May 2014, 11:19, archived)

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( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 11:25, archived)

   ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
   /            \
   | (o)(o) |
@     ||    @
  |  ____  |
  \______/
( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 2 May 2014, 11:57, archived)

hot cross buns and coffee and orange juice

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 May 2014, 7:41, archived)

coffee and weed

( mongychops, Fri 2 May 2014, 7:50, archived)

hipster

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 May 2014, 8:15, archived)

i keep my money in a lucky strike tin

( mongychops, Fri 2 May 2014, 8:27, archived)

oh and i'm having cake now, i like cake for breakfast

( mongychops, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:23, archived)

everybody likes cake
/ac
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 May 2014, 10:57, archived)

If that Foo Fighters video is anything to go buy,
you will soon be tempted to eat the nearest human.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:31, archived)

tears and bile

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 2 May 2014, 7:53, archived)

Shreddies with remorse

( $$ ✅, Fri 2 May 2014, 8:04, archived)

a cold shower and shame

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 2 May 2014, 8:34, archived)

tits, bums and fannies

( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 2 May 2014, 8:36, archived)

tea, muesli and more tea

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 May 2014, 8:45, archived)

The bible and a deck of cards.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 May 2014, 8:55, archived)

Red bull and cigarettes

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:10, archived)

Is this a Crohn's thing?
Only that's two of Gonz's favourite foods
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:12, archived)

It probably shouldn't be but its a regular thing for me

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:24, archived)

Red bull/coffee + cigarettes is a recipe for diarrhoea

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:34, archived)

It is a good daily cleanser. Gonna pack them both in though. So unhealthy

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 2 May 2014, 10:43, archived)

A gun for a lover and a shot for the pain.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:15, archived)

the endless, crushing disappointment of modern life and coffee

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:19, archived)

Hope it's good coffee.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:26, archived)

4/7 today
www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-27237644
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:30, archived)

I was blissful unaware of any of those "news" stories,
yet managed to guess all the answers, anyway.
Why are the buried ET cartridges in the desert an "unlikely find" - wasn't it common knowledge that Atari had buried them there?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:42, archived)

i thought it was known they were buried but nobody was sure exactly where they were buried

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:50, archived)

Oh.
Sounds like we've just deprived future generations of a moderately interesting archaeological find.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:56, archived)

frosted wheats and pepsi max
I fucking love pepsi max recently
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 2 May 2014, 9:31, archived)

i fucking love pepsi max too!
we should form a club, first ten members get a free badge and activity set
( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 2 May 2014, 10:02, archived)

I prefer full fat out of the tap pepsi
But I will drink pepsi max from now on as I need to shift some poundage
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 2 May 2014, 10:47, archived)

well being the fat cunt i am i need to think about these things

( sock more tea vicar?, Fri 2 May 2014, 10:49, archived)

I have an irrepresible desire to murder people who call full-sugar soft drinks "full fat".

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 2 May 2014, 11:34, archived)

ehhhhh you get my drift though

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 2 May 2014, 11:39, archived)

you dirty cunt
coke zero 4 life
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 May 2014, 10:44, archived)

your mum

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 2 May 2014, 10:48, archived)

does she still make that duck noise when she cums?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 2 May 2014, 10:56, archived)

whats for breakfast tomorrow

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:41, archived)

Christ, that's a bit early isn't it?
ummm, bacon sarnie or an omelette maybe
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:43, archived)

it's nearly midnight if i asked much later the question wouldnt make sense

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:44, archived)

dunno what his problem is
it's early the third or fourth best question that's been asked today
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:11, archived)

porridge

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:44, archived)

i really want to like porridge it smells proper nice
but whenever i try it, it feels like im holding a spoonful of sweet, warm sick in my mouth
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:55, archived)

pretend it's rice pudding
unless you think that's worse
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:00, archived)

thats just as bad i think id gag
even if i smeared it on toast or something i dont think id eat that at all
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:02, archived)

I'd love to sick porridge.
I normally sick sick and that's much worse
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:13, archived)

you kinky bitch

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:13, archived)

wait till I get to the tapioca

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:16, archived)

dont threaten me

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:21, archived)

semolina

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:29, archived)

Try salt on it instead of sugar.
Fantastic
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 2 May 2014, 0:04, archived)

im not even telling you or anything

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:47, archived)

instantly got like that i see

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:48, archived)

oh here we go yet again we're going

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:49, archived)

you look nice today though have you cut your hair

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:57, archived)

its been brushed edling im glad you noticed, i can never be mad at you, you sweet thing!

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:00, archived)

i did a cross stitch about a song which i think represents our relationship
i.imgur.com/DNwpvdD.jpg
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:01, archived)

actually mid august is just past my birthday which i feel is significant to this whole matter

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:03, archived)

i don't have much to show for it save for some dog-eared letters and very expensive long-distance phone calls

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:04, archived)

i dont think i'll ever touch a daiquiri again

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:11, archived)

good, you get mean when your drunk

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:41, archived)

nice
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mI-YiaWDgB4
edit: doh!
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:04, archived)

i also have memorised the lyrics to that
i to this day do not know why
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:08, archived)

shit just realised i no longer remember it all
better brush up
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:09, archived)

check it:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJjqk5t4xGI
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:12, archived)

Shreddies

( $$ ✅, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:51, archived)

coffee and banana

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:59, archived)

dunno, what day is it tomorrow?

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:04, archived)

PARTY DAY

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:06, archived)

COR

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:07, archived)

i hope no one tells you, this would be the best joke ever if no one told you what day tomorrow is

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:20, archived)

Failed attempt at having a wank as Venlafaxine is a killer
Followed by a long walk to the station which is opposite my flat and coffee and a miserable journey into work followed by a more miserable day.
( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:14, archived)

i'm happy that you're unhappy
/ac
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 23:30, archived)

so who enjoyed fucking with firechat earlier?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 May 2014, 20:56, archived)

i don't know what this means soz

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 1 May 2014, 21:00, archived)

^

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 21:01, archived)

trolling a popular new chat app
made me giggle a lot on my way to work.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 May 2014, 21:03, archived)

i see, i wasn't aware of it, now i am i cant be arsed

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 21:35, archived)

were we meant to be involved?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:01, archived)

there were some /talkers involved

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:04, archived)

ok

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:06, archived)

blimey how many people have me on ignore? this forum only has about 7 posters for me

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:07, archived)

i think its a clique thing dunno

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:08, archived)

what having me on ignore? sadtimes :'(

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:12, archived)

who said that?
did anyone else hear something?
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:16, archived)

nah i cant see reference to it either
so it's either a clique on some kind of secret board or a clique of ignoring both you and me
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:16, archived)

there it is again!
did you hear that?
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:18, archived)

i get it

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:20, archived)

Me

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 1 May 2014, 21:05, archived)

was that you?
bravo. Who was Boris?
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 May 2014, 21:14, archived)

Dunno. I was a myriad of people. I have deleted it now as I can see me wasting too much time on it upsetting teenagers.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 1 May 2014, 21:15, archived)

Alright Jimmy Saville

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 May 2014, 21:20, archived)

Now then now then

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 1 May 2014, 21:24, archived)

did you threaten to overrule Derek Lewis?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:15, archived)

beyond my remit

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:17, archived)

I did not overrule Derek Lewis

( $$ ✅, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:18, archived)

can't believe he's dead ... horrible way to go

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:18, archived)

dunno who that is soz

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:24, archived)

i liked it when russel brand flirted with paxo

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:44, archived)

look who turned up yesterday
b3ta.com/board/11075576
( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:50, archived)

wait ... didn't we get memento icons when pootle died?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 20:27, archived)

you might of you sentimental pansy

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 20:52, archived)

I'm totally gay for a good online death

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:36, archived)

still see him sometimes

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 22:02, archived)

Hi everyone,
As you are more then likely aware, you were recently selected for inclusion in the 2013 edition of the Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals. Despite our efforts, we have not yet received confirmation of your biographical profile, and are reaching out to you again in an effort to do so.

Click here right now

...To fill out the appropriate biographical fields.

The tradition of the Who's Who reaches back more then 100 years to a time when the prestigious and accomplished were featured in a yearly publication that defined high society. Today, the Who's Who provides a useful resource where business professionals, academics, and Executives are both recognized for their achievements and provided with an unparalleled networking resource. Using our database, you can make global contacts, discuss current events and happenings with your peers, and establish yourself as either a mentor to aspiring professionals or further your business network.

Our goal is to seek out the premier executives and professionals throughout the world. There is absolutely no cost or obligation for your biographical profile.

Click here right now

Sincerely,

JT Richards
â?¨Managing Directorâ?¨
Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:48, archived)

fuck off mgt, there's a quote for you

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:53, archived)

now than, now than

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:53, archived)

seems legit

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:59, archived)

you should fill it ink, but list your work around unexplained murders

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 20:03, archived)

eveninh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:17, archived)

alright

( $$ ✅, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:22, archived)

not really

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:24, archived)

i was bored today so i made a denim watch strap, it was quite tricky, fun tho

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:24, archived)

real life tekkers

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:29, archived)

Fozzies please!

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:33, archived)

i was just fucking about really
tinypic.com/r/2hq8k08/8

tinypic.com/r/rvw0o5/8
( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:36, archived)

nice
if you want to look like a thirteen year old Bros fan
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:46, archived)

i was bored, the bracelet is back on now

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:47, archived)

you need to get yourself a job or a hobby
I hear fishing is inexplicably popular
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:58, archived)

you could make denim watch straps to flog on etsy by the lakeside between bites

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:00, archived)

i honestly couldn't

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:01, archived)

there is some proper old toss on there
there must be a whole subculture of pointless housewives making pointless shit and selling it to one another
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:02, archived)

it is all twee and expensive, or just shit and expensive

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:03, archived)

can't see how we're in a recession if people can waste time and money on twee fucking knitted iPad covers

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:06, archived)

well there's your market and profit margins sorted

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:17, archived)

cant fish at the moment, bad back :(
someone offered me a job, but i reckon summer will be here soon, fuck working in that heat
( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:01, archived)

my new rod turned up today too

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:16, archived)

Scoliosis lolz

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:39, archived)

shambles is the man for fashion advice

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:35, archived)

i'd imagine shambles is a bit too hip for me, i'm in my forties now

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:46, archived)

i don't really know what hip is
my hair is shit
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:46, archived)

i go once a month and have a 'trim' , dunno if that is cool or not

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:48, archived)

apparently a beard is currently fashionable
so i think i'm fashionable currently
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:50, archived)

i've never grown a beard

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:59, archived)

it's not for everybody
only real men can carry it off
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:02, archived)

i suppose i should really one day just to say i have

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:03, archived)

should try everything once

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 19:27, archived)

it's the joint that connects your leg to your arse

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 18:49, archived)

More like late afternoon.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:31, archived)

Slow work day.
Im terribly bored.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:35, archived)

Quit.
Sell crayon drawings on ebay instead.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:41, archived)

Now that's a plan of action.
Maybe fake a disability so they go for more.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:58, archived)

Too Soon!

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 1 May 2014, 17:42, archived)

Haha, this is well good isn't it
I fucking love it here. What do you fucking love? Pricks.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:44, archived)

jeremy paxman on newsnight, well lol.
nothing could ruin that for me.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:46, archived)

a great big fart to start the day off right

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:51, archived)

I'm having a right laugh.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:53, archived)

Taking a shit whilst getting a blowjob

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:55, archived)

How romantic

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:16, archived)

i love all of you guys, i think you're all great xxx <3

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:55, archived)

GAY

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:56, archived)

haha, LOVELY

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:57, archived)

let's hold hands

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:01, archived)

That's not my hand

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:03, archived)

its mine......

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:11, archived)

I cannot compute this respone
You've ruined Talk!!
( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:16, archived)

let's be friends

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:23, archived)

Massive wanks.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:01, archived)

YOU!
nah, just kidding. you're a penis
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:01, archived)

I REALLY am
But it's ok. There are worse things to be.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:02, archived)

chips

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:10, archived)

Good afternoon!
Having anything nice for lunch?
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:06, archived)

Tuna fish salad

( $$ ✅, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:08, archived)

Nothing special,
although the meat/condiment ratio, in my sandwich, was suboptimal.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:24, archived)

i posted something on board
it's a bit big but i'm sure happytoast will fix that for me
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:34, archived)

clicked

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:42, archived)

Is a mod click worth more than other clicks?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:05, archived)

sentimentally, yes

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:08, archived)

i got on the popular page for board
could this be my first fp?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:09, archived)

If only they'd widen the layout and get rid of all the shit games from 2004 that no-one ever plays

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:15, archived)

c
c
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:35, archived)

definitely

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:56, archived)

cold pizza, bitch

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:34, archived)

If my neighbour doesn't learn how to use a hammer properly soon
I'm going to beat him to death with it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:25, archived)

what is he doing wrong then?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:31, archived)

Come round and listen
It's hard to explain
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:32, archived)

its about the most self explanitary tool there is
grab handle, hit stuff
( Glovington, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:41, archived)

is this what is happening?
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:50, archived)

Christ
I fucking hope not
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:57, archived)

caramel ice thing in costa in cyprus

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:41, archived)

Rustlers burger micro chips and sunny delight

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:55, archived)

what a treat!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:57, archived)

Aztec bar or a trio for afters

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:00, archived)

Not sure this forum's appropriate for minors.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:13, archived)

Horrendous ham and cucumber sandwich

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:00, archived)

No
A salad which I left in the car so is now warm
( Glovington, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:11, archived)

Gorilla Salad

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:17, archived)

fucking meat pie, crisps and choculate

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:20, archived)

CHOC-U-LATE

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:21, archived)

Yes
My son called it choculate the other day and I liked it so much I've been using it ever since
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:24, archived)

do you like it because it sounds like ejaculate?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:30, archived)

Hmm, maybe

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:32, archived)

imagine if you could ejaculate chocolate

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:50, archived)

maybe if you ate enough hot chocolate powder

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:57, archived)

Well that's my weekend taken care of

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:58, archived)

your poor wife

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:14, archived)

At least she likes choculate

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:22, archived)

a roll with stuff in it.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:59, archived)

Mumbles!
How are you love?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:00, archived)

smashing thanks TH, how's the fam?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:00, archived)

yeah, they're still hanging around the place
And yours?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:03, archived)

not dead yet.
must try harder.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:04, archived)

Good man

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:23, archived)

poo, probably

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:15, archived)

stop bullying me!!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:16, archived)

He's always doing that Mumps
Fucking Paul Bunyan Wookie looking motherfucker
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:23, archived)

:(((( does he still finger dog's bumholes too?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:24, archived)

I don't know, I don't watch him 24 hours a day
yes, he does
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:26, archived)

dirty wookie bastard
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:27, archived)

i've missed you really

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:28, archived)

you don't even know which one I am, do you?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:30, archived)

the one with... the face?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 16:00, archived)

scampi
and a cuppa
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:02, archived)

God, I fucking love scampi
and a nice cuppa
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:27, archived)

it was lovely
but there was a depressing lack of tartare sauce
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:36, archived)

I'm eating bolognese but without the pasta and with broccoli instead.
As a result all the happiness I felt this morning has evaporated and I am eyeing up my neighbour's chocolate bar.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:13, archived)

oh ffs adam what's wrong with pasta?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:15, archived)

I...I'm on a diet :(

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:24, archived)

christ almighty.
next time try cabbage, you can at least make that into a pasta like shape.

or man the fuck up and eat pasta.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:26, archived)

That'd be tolerable, if the bolognese was decent.
Wrong, but tolerable.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 May 2014, 15:17, archived)

Daily Heil
Recruitment consultant :- Do you have any preferences of industry.
Me :- Not at all.
RC:- Anything morally against Newspaper websites ?
Me:- No, except for the Daily mail - HaHa.
RC:- Right,OK we'll skip over this one.
(matola23 Roll Mop Herons, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:06, archived)

Oh look I've done it again.
Sorry for the thrush, matola23.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:07, archived)

you are the worst person ever

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:33, archived)

Ha ha, unemployed.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:23, archived)

what happened next is what i want to know

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:28, archived)

Needless to say, he had the last laugh.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:51, archived)

I now work for Mcdonalds

(matola23 Roll Mop Herons, Thu 1 May 2014, 14:53, archived)

morning

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:13, archived)

alright

( $$ ✅, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:23, archived)

yeah, 'cept my left knee hurts

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:49, archived)

I think shambles is trying to get me to bum him or he wants to bum me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:23, archived)

do or do not, there is no try

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:40, archived)

apart from in rugby

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:47, archived)

you just blew my mind

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 10:13, archived)

But, but... I'm scared, TH

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:48, archived)

What's the worst that could happen?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 10:14, archived)

Well, depending on the outcome, either I'll get poo on my willy or I'll get bummed by a big bear of a man

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 May 2014, 10:17, archived)

win win

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 11:21, archived)

typical

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:50, archived)

*bums*

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 10:37, archived)

This seems the more polite of the available threads,
so I'm going to post my greeting here.

morning
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:46, archived)

let's fuck

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:51, archived)

*simpers*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:55, archived)

morning doves

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:53, archived)

hey turd, you have a great day now, ya hear?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 1 May 2014, 10:08, archived)

Best morning thread award goes to................
The Doveston, 3rd time winning best morning thread.
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 1 May 2014, 10:22, archived)

it's not even morning

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 12:47, archived)

this place gets worse

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 12:51, archived)

and yet the mods do nothing

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 May 2014, 12:56, archived)

i'm doing something right now
look *does*
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:32, archived)

I don't think you should be doing that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 May 2014, 13:50, archived)

alright, bummers

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 7:29, archived)

shammer

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 May 2014, 7:46, archived)

firechat is amusing

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 May 2014, 7:52, archived)

dunno what that is soz

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 8:04, archived)

I wish people would stop shitting on my lawn :(

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 8:17, archived)

take the grass up, put roses in

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 May 2014, 8:56, archived)

woah
a whole lawn of roses? Now that would be a sight!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 8:57, archived)

you'd have to put barbed wire and cctv up tho, it'd be the most valuable garden ever

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:00, archived)

I don't think internet poo is quite that valuable

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:02, archived)

shitcoins

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:03, archived)

that's true
but think how beautiful it would look
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:03, archived)

yeah

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 8:21, archived)

alright, bummee

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 May 2014, 8:43, archived)

yeah ... you'd like that wouldn't you

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:03, archived)

I dunno, I'm not entirely convinced by the whole winkies up bums thing
Doesn't seem hygienic
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:08, archived)

bumming is great, you bummer

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:16, archived)

Receiving, loud and clear

( $$ ✅, Thu 1 May 2014, 8:56, archived)

Morning shambles

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 1 May 2014, 9:04, archived)

eveninh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 0:29, archived)

I don't fucking think so

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 May 2014, 0:31, archived)

why not

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 1 May 2014, 0:33, archived)

Do you not have somewhere to be beautiful in?
Like your mums bedroom?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 1 May 2014, 0:40, archived)

if you're lost you can look - and you will find me time after time,If you fall I will catch you - i'll be waiting time after time

( mongychops, Thu 1 May 2014, 5:28, archived)

pricks
alt:wee
edit: wanky wanky wank wank
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 23:29, archived)

hey cherrytree, you got a problem with me saying to my
96 dying faces you sexy motherfunker
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 23:36, archived)

all that wank
and brutal techno to all this night! Hi.
(CrassWar, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 23:39, archived)

'ave it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK_Nznhpm6c
( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 1 May 2014, 0:14, archived)

fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 1 May 2014, 0:15, archived)

You fucking evangelical nonce warrior.
What made you so horrible? Was it being touched as a child by a broken bucket? You retarded manifestation of someone that used to have jokes and now just says "fuck off cunt" Peter Pan stole your shadow, and your ability to humorous. So well yeah
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 1 May 2014, 0:42, archived)

Mourning!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 19:47, archived)

it's good to talk

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 19:51, archived)

What will they do with Spit the dog?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 19:54, archived)

poke him up the bumhole i imagine

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 19:59, archived)

Bob Holness is a Mod?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:08, archived)

he might as bloody well be

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:09, archived)

he also played the comb and paper on Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:10, archived)

those were the days

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:11, archived)

no, that was Mary Hopkin
although it did feature Keith Chegwin on vibes.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 21:06, archived)

get him to shit on Two Hats' lawn

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 19:59, archived)

nothing like curling one out on a lawn
to put one in a good mood.
( Glovington, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:28, archived)

neither my rod or my watchstrap turned up, oh bother

( mongychops, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 19:55, archived)

I got a couple of iPads, a pressure vessel, and a bag of massive capacitors
I win at getting stuff delivered.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 19:57, archived)

couriers are completely shit these days.
i don't know what the world's coming to
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:14, archived)

sometimes i think they don't even bother,
they just drive round in circles for a bit and then go back to the depot with a load of made up excuses.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:15, archived)

in France, the postie isn't allowed to knock on your door unless there's a notice specifically saying he should knock

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:18, archived)

and then they just shrug and fuck off

( mongychops, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:28, archived)

yup
easily the daftest rule I've come across there ... and they're world leaders on daft rules
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:32, archived)

DID I ACCIDENTALLY A FRANCE?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:36, archived)

shambles likes to bring france and his numerous bank accounts into all conversations

( mongychops, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:39, archived)

I've got another one since then
and an Amex for the first time in years
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:48, archived)

i hope some kid burns your neck

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:48, archived)

I got sunburn the other week doing some gardening in the house we've just built in France that I haven't mentioned yet in this thread.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:51, archived)

a garden in the house that's mental

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:55, archived)

i no rite/

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:56, archived)

i bet your pizza oven is on the roof of the garage or something stupid,
France makes no sense
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:59, archived)

i'm going to france soon, shits crazy

( mongychops, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 21:08, archived)

i'm glad i don't have a house in France,
i would just get confused and scared.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 21:28, archived)

im taking my bivvy, i should be ok

( mongychops, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 21:42, archived)

I can confirm this is true

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:39, archived)

For some reason the postie delivered me a fishing rod and watch strap.

( $$ ✅, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 19:58, archived)

I snapped the rod in two and put in the bin and the watch strap I gave to my dog to chew.

( $$ ✅, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 19:58, archived)

you're alright for a dirty scally

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:06, archived)

^deffo not a scouser

( mongychops, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 20:15, archived)

OK so I've checked the news, seems jeremy adams is quitting newsnight and jerry paxman has handed himself into the police

( vladimir, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 22:33, archived)

jeremy irons has cuffed adams and jeremy beadle is on hand

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 30 Apr 2014, 22:40, archived)