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morning, prickholes

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 7:56, archived)

alright cuntlips

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 7:57, archived)

alright buttrash

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:01, archived)

Apply cream twice daily

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:43, archived)

Consider my hole pricked.

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 3 Nov 2014, 7:57, archived)

triple pricked

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:06, archived)

Three Pricks in a Hole
Jeremy Clarkson, Piers Morgan and Russel Brand explore Britain's cave networks in this subterranean show. Viewers get to vote on who is walled up in a cave at the end of each episode.
(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:09, archived)

wanking for cabs

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:19, archived)

The barter system in action.

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:38, archived)

A prick in the hole is worth 2 in the bush.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:16, archived)

I'm going to fry some eggs.

(

brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:18, archived)

I like eggs

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:19, archived)

try not to ruin them like some kind of prickhole

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:26, archived)

I bet he flips them over to fry the tops.

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:42, archived)

what a cuntslop

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:49, archived)

You lose.
I like them rubbery on the bottom and fairly runny on top these days.
(

brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 9:51, archived)

morning

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:20, archived)

up yours, dickface

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:31, archived)

JESUS

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:57, archived)

morning, prickless

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:34, archived)

WTF?
Well that's it. I don't come here to be insulted. I'm leaving forever.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:58, archived)

Doesnt sound like we can change your mind
bye forever m8
(

Glovington, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 9:01, archived)

YES!!

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 9:03, archived)

prickholes?

(

Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 9:02, archived)

Holes. In pricks. You prickhole.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 9:04, archived)

BUMHOLES

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 1:40, archived)

new or used?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 6:29, archived)

Lahverly fresh bumoles, too pahnd a pahhhhnd.

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 3 Nov 2014, 8:05, archived)

eveninh

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 21:54, archived)

Oh, you noticed.

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 2 Nov 2014, 21:55, archived)

rekt

(mingeswingers, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 22:01, archived)

yeh

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 22:10, archived)

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It's recycling this week.
(

brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 22:02, archived)

I knew there was a reason this week was extra special and exciting
(

vladimir, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 22:22, archived)

eveninh ssgh

(

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 22:37, archived)

hey babe sup

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 22:55, archived)

alright gorgeous

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 23:16, archived)

HIDE MY OFFAL

(mingeswingers, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 23:30, archived)

yeah you;d think so wouldn't you?

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 2 Nov 2014, 23:38, archived)

you make us wait nearly 2 months for a post
then you half-arse the punctuation!
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 1:04, archived)

what a pricktion

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 1:27, archived)

wanker

(

mongychops, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 0:03, archived)

ok

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 0:31, archived)

fair do's

(

mongychops, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 0:53, archived)

Friday I visited skegness for a wedding
you can get lager for £1.70 a pint there. not bad
(

Glovington, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 19:36, archived)

it could be free and i still wouldn't go to skegness

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 19:48, archived)

i bet the greasy haired bar lady curled off a length in to it

(

$$ ✅, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 20:05, archived)

HELP

(mingeswingers, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 21:06, archived)

so?

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 21:13, archived)

juicer thread

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:25, archived)

I'll be there at 3

(

mongychops, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:35, archived)

only dull shin and Mickey in here, fuck this bollocks

(

mongychops, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 15:51, archived)

Dave the bed and car dealer Colin have just got here now, 4 dull wankers together, the only excitement is the fact the main sewer outside is blocked and chucking out shit, metrorod have a pump wagon in the carpark

(

mongychops, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 16:20, archived)

I was eating spicy rammin for lunch and a splash of the soup got in my eye and now my eye is red.
Now I know how YM feels
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:42, archived)

I just realised I've been a member here for over a decade.
how dull is that.
(

MrA, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:42, archived)

Who the fuck are you?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 15:04, archived)

And why did he marry a superbug?

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 15:07, archived)

applause

(

mongychops, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 15:22, archived)

This is probably the best thing I'll ever write, it's all downhill from here

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 16:49, archived)

don't put yourself down
that's what we're here for
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 16:56, archived)

so he could wear ebola hat

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 20:45, archived)

No juicer for me today
couple of beers with the F1 later though
(

H.B.Mupps, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 15:05, archived)

oh, i fucking wish

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 15:36, archived)

still no decent juicer near me
or any, in fact
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 16:01, archived)

snap, lol

(

mongychops, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 16:21, archived)

rhythm is a dancer?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 17:49, archived)

serious as cancer, lol

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Sun 2 Nov 2014, 18:51, archived)

i'm gonna stay in today, might pick up a few tinnies from the offy later

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 16:49, archived)

That'd be nice.
I can't tell if I've got jetlag or M.E.
(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 2 Nov 2014, 17:02, archived)

lazyitis more like

(

mongychops, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 18:25, archived)

I can't even be bothered to tell you to get fucked.

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 2 Nov 2014, 19:43, archived)

come dine with m.e.

(

manolith hooray for me, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 18:28, archived)

Come down with me

(

Glovington, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 19:20, archived)

quincy, medical examiner?

(

$$ ✅, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 19:29, archived)

Terrible bullying of m.e.

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 2 Nov 2014, 19:43, archived)

It's been a long time
I shouldn't have left you
Without a strong rhyme to step to
Think of how many weak shows you slept through
Time's up I'm sorry I kept you
Thinkin' of this you keep repeatin' you miss
The rhymes from the microphone soloist
And you sit by the radio hand on the dial soon
As you hear it pump up the volume
(

djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:36, archived)

hold on to your love, holding on to you, will it be enough, I'll do what I have to

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:45, archived)

yeah! I love S Club 7

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:50, archived)

it was Steps

(

djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 11:50, archived)

fuck ... how embarrassing

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 13:26, archived)

You're both wrong
It was from B*witched's second album
(

H.B.Mupps, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:03, archived)

is everyone rapping now?

(schnurricane?, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:52, archived)

only white people

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:52, archived)

ain't that the truth

(

Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 11:58, archived)

all hiphop is shit

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:54, archived)

i'm hated for loving

(

$$ ✅, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 11:05, archived)

and all those murders you done

(

mongychops, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 12:49, archived)

I only removed the dead weight from society

(

$$ ✅, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 12:57, archived)

alright djrich - Live from Houghton Regis

(

vladimir, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:04, archived)

alright

(

djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 15:16, archived)

And the colored girls go "Doo do doo do doo do do doo..."

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:37, archived)

it's been a long time
i'm glad (scared?) to see that things haven't changed too much. figured i'd check back in and see what's up. anybody remember the schnurricane still? whatever happened to grandma of shoes (gmos) and, who knows, rapitinui? i see mofaha's still on the main board. i forgot how to make things, otherwise i'd ask over there. is there still a sort of rivalry? you know, i remember when this was all fields.
(schnurricane?, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 9:58, archived)

They're all dead, Dave.

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:16, archived)

how? car accidents i bet.
(schnurricane?, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:32, archived)

I wish

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:45, archived)

and don't go criticizing my years to posts ratio! the account i had before i forgot my old email address the first time had much more significant activity! boy, i'll never forget the first time i got front paged! it was, oh, two-thousand and three it must have been. yes i swear! there wasn't even a talk board then! hoo-ey! and back down at my house the thing made frightening electronic donkey noises when you fired it up, and a phone call was its only weakness. yes sir i found pleasure and friendship on this website, an' i'm just lookin' to see if any a'them old timers are still kickin' around.
(schnurricane?, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:31, archived)

alright schurr

(

mongychops, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:33, archived)

mongychops! yours is a name i remember

(schnurricane?, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:39, archived)

alright, lesbian

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:45, archived)

i remember your name as well!

(schnurricane?, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:47, archived)

not fondly though

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:49, archived)

it's a vague, emotionless memory.
were we once bickering enemies?
(schnurricane?, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:53, archived)

I've no idea
I'm a terrible person though so there's a fighting chance you hate me
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 10:55, archived)

i'll go with that,
you piece of shit.
(schnurricane?, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 11:00, archived)

anyway all i'm saying is
if you run into anybody else from 10-13 years ago tell them schnurricane says hello, just in case
(schnurricane?, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 11:32, archived)

yeah alright
if I remember
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 13:26, archived)

alright schnurricane

(

vladimir, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:04, archived)

*Smoke bomb*
You saw NOTHING.
:D
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 2 Nov 2014, 5:28, archived)

Checking in for epic morning thread

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 5:30, archived)

I woke up with rain hammering on the window, looked over at the clock.
It was only 3AM. What time had I gone to bed? I wasn't sure.
I pulled on my pants and track suit bottoms and went downstairs for a piss.
Job done, I thought "Fuck it, let's have a beer and fuck about on the internet for a bit."
Going online I headed straight for my main source of information on World Events: Mail Online. After all, in today's world it's important to keep abreast with how out of touch with it's readers the Daily Mail can get. What with most of them being swivel-eyed UKIP loons, and the DM running an anti-UKIP smear story EVERY SINGLE DAY, PURELY to wind them up.
So I posted a couple of (^(^;;^)^) comments in a story about some pop bint, had another drink and came to b3ta.
Here is some honey.
The END.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 2 Nov 2014, 5:39, archived)

Also, 'NING The LOVELY Span Bee.
:D
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 2 Nov 2014, 5:39, archived)

that's odd, I thought I heard somepony walk by here just now.
I must be imagining things.
(

Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 8:48, archived)

alright stuj

(

vladimir, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:04, archived)

Yes! I've got my snail back!

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 3:09, archived)

Congrats

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 3:25, archived)

Get fucked

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 4:57, archived)

hahaha it's like your penis or sutin hohoho

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 8:38, archived)

alright mr horrible

(

vladimir, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:05, archived)

I'm going to start a thread.

(

brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 22:28, archived)

ok, let me know when you do

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 22:38, archived)

Can't mate I'm busy soz.

(

brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 22:44, archived)

i was going to put you on ignore for lols , but i cant be fucked, you paki loving shit coon

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 22:39, archived)

alright brb

(

vladimir, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 14:05, archived)

alright
just idling
(mondeo_32, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 16:55, archived)

I love a comedy account me

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:10, archived)

fuck off dozers

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:21, archived)

bit harsh

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:23, archived)

this is what you've done fucking about on qftw, we get those sorts over here

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:31, archived)

pricks were following me around for ages
Shammers can keep em.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:37, archived)

a couple seemed to take issue with my love of swiss watches but I think they might of gotten over it now

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:45, archived)

they dont understand quality
fuck em
(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:49, archived)

I have it on good authority that they are top blokes, via gaz

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:56, archived)

i like it when the cuckoo comes out

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 18:04, archived)

when you consider the engineering that goes into the movement to make that happen it is incredibly impressive

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 18:13, archived)

not quite as impressive as these, but damn these are wank material
www.ablogtowatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/jaeger-lecoultre-hybris-mechanica-set1.jpg
(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 20:05, archived)

Not my thing soz

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 21:43, archived)

that;s christmas ruined then

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 21:52, archived)

this place would be dead on its arse if I hadn't dragged a bunch of pointless shitcunts over from qftw

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 19:10, archived)

it would be better dead old man river

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 19:21, archived)

prolly
I've killed qftw though. Which is a start.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 19:28, archived)

qftw was just a prolonged suicide note from the start

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 20:04, archived)

sniff my bum

(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:29, archived)

up yours, dickface

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:37, archived)

mister h

(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 17:43, archived)

happy now, misery guts?

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 21:48, archived)

soon be christmas

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 21:57, archived)

aint there a rocket and sparkler option you could put on for bonfire night

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 22:03, archived)

apparently not

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 22:10, archived)

i think weve discovered why the forum is dead on its arse

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 22:19, archived)

alright?

(

Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 20:41, archived)

You shit ford cortina

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 4:58, archived)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:47, archived)

fuck off dozers

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:51, archived)

hozza

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:56, archived)

cheers

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:59, archived)

shove it up your arse

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 15:00, archived)

cheers

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 15:01, archived)

alright baz

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 15:33, archived)

get bent

(

Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 15:04, archived)

fod "fod" fod

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 16:40, archived)

I'm in the juicer having a pub lunch with my boy, he's getting some doughnut Burger, I'm getting quietly drunk, report in troops , sitrep ASAP

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:13, archived)

back on the booze is it?
🍺👍
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:24, archived)

up yours, dickface

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:30, archived)

major he's still being a 10 year old lightweight

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:48, archived)

sitting in the juicer
Might go home for a bit and come back later.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:24, archived)

dead up here, dunno why, halfterms or saink

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:49, archived)

ham sandwich watching italian mafia thing

(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:32, archived)

How does a ham sandwich have eyes?

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:34, archived)

he has beautiful eyes made from ham

(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:36, archived)

eyes can't be made from ham. fuck off.

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:36, archived)

he's dead now. I hope you're happy now

(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:38, archived)

You're still a cunt

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:38, archived)

true

(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:46, archived)

Still got a fucking pumpkin here
Going to the small claims court if this carries on.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:36, archived)

gaz happytoast

(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:46, archived)

He's a cunt

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:53, archived)

your pumpkin will remain until you perform one completely unselfish act

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:58, archived)

I just cleaned the kitchen

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 15:32, archived)

Happy Hallowday!

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:44, archived)

up yours, dickface

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:46, archived)

bit harsh

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 15:14, archived)

What Is Love (Baby Don't Hurt Me)

(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:47, archived)

hadaway were shite pet

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:54, archived)

morning

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:03, archived)

modolith

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:06, archived)

horriblith

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:09, archived)

i'm totes in a church right now
nobody blaspheme please
(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 11:45, archived)

fuck jesus

(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 11:54, archived)

with a knife

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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:15, archived)

i expected better from you guys, to be honest

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:40, archived)

Why have I still got a fucking pumpkin icon?

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:46, archived)

they're stayin on until you learn the true meaning of halloween

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:50, archived)

Shit off. I want my snail back.

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:54, archived)

you won't get it back with that attitude

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:01, archived)

up yours, dickface

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:42, archived)

i've been buried in paperwork all day, soz

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$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:16, archived)

+a
~~work~~'s grave
+u
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:22, archived)

Too much effort, 2/10
Must try harder
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:22, archived)

i can't be bothered working it out

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manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:33, archived)

something about anus, right?

(

$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:41, archived)

Not Ben Stiller's proudestzzzzzz

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:45, archived)

remember to lick the vicar's hand

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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:18, archived)

it's a christening so i might chuck a few holy-water balloons around

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manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:46, archived)

a good catholic church I hope

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:40, archived)

well it's catholic
dunno about good
(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:53, archived)

Useless fact:
due to a mistranslation of the original text, what we see as the word "begat" in the King James Bible originally meant "fucked." Religious scholars have disputed this for hundreds of years but they're a bunch of deluded fucks anyway.
(

H.B.Mupps, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:46, archived)

i did just find out that 'chrism' is a thing
might as well have just called it 'jesuspunk'
(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:00, archived)

I like how you use the word "fact" when you mean "some shit I once read and completely misremembered"

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:25, archived)

i thought it was a joke

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:32, archived)

I'm not good at jokes.

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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:44, archived)

we've noticed

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:51, archived)

for sure

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:13, archived)

someone had to do something about it
did you get any trick or treaters, m?
(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:17, archived)

Nah I didn't participate this year, you dish out any sweets

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:19, archived)

we had them banging on the door,
strange that nobody round here seems to know what a doorbell is.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:24, archived)

not that strange ... you've only had electricity since 2009

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:28, archived)

doorbells aren't as spoooooooky

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:34, archived)

the postman doesn't use it, either,
or anybody else who ever comes to the door.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:50, archived)

are you absolutely certain you have a doorbell?

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 11:03, archived)

doorbells are an abstract concept

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 11:11, archived)

yes i made it myself

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 11:16, archived)

that explains it

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manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 11:22, archived)

:(

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:44, archived)

nah
staying at someone else's place so not my responsibility
(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:33, archived)

it only encourages kids about fooood anyway, cunts will be on here talking about the shape of malteasers or some shit

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:50, archived)

hay

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$$ ✅, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:25, archived)

sup

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:34, archived)

it surely is, brother M, it surely is
Praise the Lord for this day that He's given
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:28, archived)

verily

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:35, archived)

Woah

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:30, archived)

yeah, didn't see that coming, didja?

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 10:36, archived)

I was way ahead of two hats
Up so bright and early I've even had a shit on his lawn.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 11:27, archived)

that'll teach him not to be such a slug-a-bed

(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 11:35, archived)

yup
definitely still morning
(

H.B.Mupps, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:43, archived)

Aw man, I didn't see this until afternoon.

(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 1 Nov 2014, 12:52, archived)

effectively you have just made me a liar
thanks a lot, prick
(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:03, archived)

I want more ning, fucker

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:14, archived)

tough shit
we stopped serving ning at midday. all we have now is noon.
(

manolith hooray for me, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:23, archived)

Careful, I might just go all D-Fens on your ass

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 13:47, archived)

bit gay

(

mongychops, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 14:02, archived)

Midnite snaks
Ham, cheese, jam sandwich
Tin o'beer.
Strangely unsatisfying.
(Bellend Sebastian, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 0:50, archived)

my neighbour just farted so loudly I could hear it through the wall

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 0:51, archived)

I used to be able to hear my old neighbours shagging, he finished by bellowing like highlander during the quickening. I didn't like it.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 0:59, archived)

It's almost time, kids.
The clock is ticking. Be in front of your TV sets for the Horrorthon, followed by the Big Giveaway. Don't miss it. And don't forget to wear your masks. The clock is ticking. It's almost time.
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 1:21, archived)

okay

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Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 3:32, archived)

up yours, dickface

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 7:30, archived)

you do live in a cardboard box under a bridge though

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 8:59, archived)

Left over chicken balls washed down with diet coke.
I've never had jetlag this bad before.
(

Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 1 Nov 2014, 3:24, archived)

cock balls surely
Chickens don't have balls.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 7:30, archived)

Can I get an Amen?
I cannot be the only mofo around here who really hates all the fuzz around the Halloween.
(Duledin, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 23:04, archived)

Hallowe'en

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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 23:05, archived)

fuck'off'mgt

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mongychops, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 23:10, archived)

lo'l

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djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 23:43, archived)

hah'a

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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 1:49, archived)

for someonewho asked for something you;ve made no effort, bit prickish

(

mongychops, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 23:27, archived)

I really hate all the fuzz around your mums halloween

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 23:44, archived)

I really hate all the Halloween around your mum's fuzz

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Fri 31 Oct 2014, 23:47, archived)

yeah probably

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 0:40, archived)

alright you fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggots

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:34, archived)

alright the LOVELY Mr H.

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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:34, archived)

stooge!
There in the morning, there when I am going home. There's a pattern there.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:36, archived)

I was on here this morning because I couldn't sleep last night.
I'm on here now because I've got no life.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:39, archived)

I was on my way to work this morning
And now I'm on my way home
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:51, archived)

alright

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:35, archived)

turdburgler

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:40, archived)

alright
have you alligatored your shitfucks all night long yet? BECAUSE IT'S NIGHTMARE NIGHT
(

Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:37, archived)

HELL YEAH THE LOVELY ALLIGATOR SHITFUCK 2-1!
*Throws a hapless minion into your pool for you.*
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:40, archived)

HAPPY NIGHTMARE NIGHT STUJ!
OM NOM

NOMMMMMMMMMM
(

Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:44, archived)

up yours, dickface

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:40, archived)

i'm absolutely going to aligator shitfuck all night tonight until I puke air

(

$$ ✅, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:55, archived)

Going to do it till I shit blood and piss amniotic fluid
Fucking lightweight.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:56, archived)

hero

(

$$ ✅, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:58, archived)

mister h

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$$ ✅, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:54, archived)

scouser

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:54, archived)

Evening!

(mingeswingers, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:59, archived)

fuck you

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 20:01, archived)

with a cherry on top

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 20:01, archived)

suck my balls

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 20:02, archived)

get bent

(

mongychops, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 20:09, archived)

alright mongy
I went to the juicer by work on the mds credit card. Now I'm on my way to my local and I've still got her credit card.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 20:18, archived)

i'm being honest here, i'd shove it bhind the bar and argue th toss later, i'm a thief, yer

(

mongychops, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 21:00, archived)

Now this is how you encourage a lively Friday night debate on Talk
Or did I read that wrong?
(

spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 20:48, archived)

you're a fine judge of character

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 22:24, archived)

What the fuck is this all about?
Apologies, the QOTW topic is closed so I can't ask there and I understand you guys here on /talk are very friendly and helpful.

www.b3ta.com/questions/sillyachievements/post2394530

Help!
(mingeswingers, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:21, archived)

i could be wrong,
but i think it's about two strange men hanging around in a shopping centre.

not sure what it's got to do with the question, though, but farting the Frog Chorus is nothing, i bum belched out Beethoven's 5th the other night.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:26, archived)

Fuck off back to QOTW.
We don't want your sort round here.
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:34, archived)

Send mongychops a pm, he'll sort you out.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 1 Nov 2014, 1:10, archived)

Yes indeedy corn cobs! Howdy y'all!

(Kid Presentable, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:03, archived)

i'm not sure about this at all

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:11, archived)

yeah you've lost me there

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:16, archived)

wat

(

mongychops, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:26, archived)

I think it's trying to communicate

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 18:12, archived)

its struggling, did you get your job?

(

mongychops, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 18:28, archived)

if he didn't then i've got a job offer for him

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:03, archived)

Huh?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:30, archived)

Roleplaying as AJ, are we?

(

Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:32, archived)

ACTION JACKSON

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 19:36, archived)

You spelt 'good evening' wrong

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:45, archived)

Show us yer minge

(

broadsword w⚓, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 18:18, archived)

saucy, tits first its not a slag

(

mongychops, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 18:29, archived)

willy

(

$$ ✅, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 18:41, archived)

i think you are ok

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 18:49, archived)

does anybody not have upvc windows at your homes?

(mondeo_32, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 16:52, archived)

I live in my car, so no

(

mongychops, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 16:54, archived)

sock puppet loser

(Kid Presentable, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:01, archived)

well, the red L in front of my name really stands for 'loser'

(mondeo_32, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:05, archived)

i'm currently 'between homes'

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:12, archived)

gaz me a pic of your penis and then we can tlak
hahah i meant talk im such a pencil dicked retard
(

$$ ✅, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:14, archived)

yes
my parents prefer wood frames
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:46, archived)

your mum loves hard wood in her openings fnuk fnuk

(

mongychops, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 17:49, archived)

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