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morning
gave you all a bit of a lie in this time
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:22, archived)

Cheers boss
Morning
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H.B.Mupps, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:24, archived)

chili sos boss?

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:38, archived)

Oh yeah, bit of garlic mayo too, cheers

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H.B.Mupps, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:55, archived)

disgusting

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:41, archived)

Garlic mayo is god tier sauce

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H.B.Mupps, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:23, archived)

my opinions on garlic are well known
and much derided
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:29, archived)

~~on garlic~~
well known
and
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:29, archived)

that's just, like, your opinion man

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:32, archived)

also
saw this, thought of you
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:35, archived)

ha, i like the fact about mona lisa puns

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:38, archived)

The "Skinner is an impostor" episode was earlier than I thought.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:40, archived)

delicious

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:18, archived)

Morning.
I've bruised my spine, after getting a bit carried away at last night's go-karting.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:31, archived)

brutal
I like go-karting, and I'm usually shit at it because the driving style is the complete opposite of what I'm used to.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:39, archived)

I found myself with a deep urge to cut people up, on the drive home.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:51, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8082112
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:48, archived)

yer, all about carrying the speed through the corners
whereas I expect some power to pull me out of the apex, and there's fuck all there when you press the pedal.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:50, archived)

lol fatty

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:57, archived)

'bowser'

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Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:08, archived)

I just like making the kart slide around the tight turns.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:02, archived)

+and throwing banana skins behind me

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:44, archived)

Me,
yesterday.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:17, archived)

you can also throw them ahead of you by holding up on the d-pad/analogue stick as you press fire
#mariokarttips
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:19, archived)

yeah, but if you're far enough behind that you need to throw them in front of you
your opponents will have raced past them before they hit the ground. THINK, MANOLITH.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:23, archived)

yeah, but you could be jostling for position with someone
and if they get the upper hand somehow because the game is broken and this controller doesn't work properly and it's my console so you can't play anymore. muuuuuuum!

...forgotten what my original point was
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:29, archived)

I am NOT a communist

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:36, archived)

Some had to point it out to me you can shake off a blue shell by slowing down and letting someone pass you.
Never occurred to me :(
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Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:36, archived)

I always slow down so that me and the second placer get hit
#lifeskills
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:37, archived)

in the most recent game, you can deflect a blue shell if you've got the horn

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:39, archived)

lol, "got the horn"

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:40, archived)

hey, you got it!

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:42, archived)

"i have a ball, perhaps you'd like to bounce it"

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Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:51, archived)

No, it's just the way my trousers ruck up.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 11:37, archived)

ibyd ydob

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:17, archived)

morning
daydream
time still growing shorter
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:43, archived)

that's a shit haiku and you're bent

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:47, archived)

bit early for this kind of aggressiveness m4√4096

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:52, archived)

soz hun

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:59, archived)

BOSH!

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Jul 2017, 7:54, archived)

bit racist to ze germans m8

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:00, archived)

I hate all people who cannot trace their family back 5 generations on the British mainland.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:13, archived)

I traced my paternal line back to the Great Plague
they come from Essex :(((((
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:16, archived)

he's lucky to have survived that.
otherwise, who knows who would do our morning threads
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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:25, archived)

are you Ding?
cos you write like ding
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:00, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8080532
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:46, archived)

EDL EDL EDL EDL EDL EDL

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:22, archived)

E LI
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:24, archived)

the lidl near me was closed for ages for renovations
it's open again now. i can't wait to go
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:22, archived)

haha

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:24, archived)

Soon, there'll be an Aldi and a Lidl within walking distance of my house.
Living the dream, me.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:28, archived)

Morning.
Thrashed it for an hour on the bike at the gym last night even though my ankle was telling me to stop, because it was the first decent cardio I'd had in a month. This morning my ankle keeps calling me a twat.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:21, archived)

you pillock

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:27, archived)

There's a limit to how long I can put up with feeling like a fat bastard.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:32, archived)

good morn

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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:26, archived)

spose
bit of a non-event really
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:32, archived)

lies
I got up early this morning
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:37, archived)

I barely slept due to this cough

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:39, archived)

too early x x x

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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:56, archived)

Current threat from international terrorism
The current threat level for international terrorism in the UK is SEVERE.
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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 8:54, archived)

it's as if selling weapons to the people who fund terrorism increases your risk of having those weapons used against you

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:00, archived)

We should stop the export of kitchen knives and nails to the Saudis, now.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:05, archived)

"if we didn't the russians would, so we may as well make a profit on it"
Tory logic.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:55, archived)

What's your bikini state, m8?

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:36, archived)

unwaxed
lol
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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:37, archived)

lol

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:37, archived)

B: Lemons
Morning
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broadsword w⚓, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:14, archived)

alright broadsword

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:26, archived)

Morning
I needed a lie in but never got one
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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:15, archived)

throw a sickie

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:27, archived)

throw a pot

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:36, archived)

Throw down
youtu.be/-juye0ow_xM
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:12, archived)

throw up
media.sticker.market/gif/throw-up-58ce71160e893a4beab71d5a-gs.gif
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:46, archived)

what's up, bitches

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:21, archived)

bitches get stitches

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:24, archived)

and bitchettes

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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:27, archived)

alright manolith

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:28, archived)

I was in cash generator the other day
and they had the 'Rugrats in Paris' movie tie-in game for Nintendo 64. I can't help thinking that they're going to struggle to sell that.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:41, archived)

i would say so the game is simple, short, unbearably cute, and suffers from a severe case of sluggish controls and a bad framerate. that's enough for me to toss it , no offence

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mongychops, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:10, archived)

Buy it for me

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:10, archived)

There's a shop near me selling vhs tapes.
I wonder if they're due a hipster revival?
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:19, archived)

I've started seeing signs in charity shop windows saying 'no more vhs tapes please'

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:22, archived)

"no, more vhs tapes, please"

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:33, archived)

haha
*drops off 250 VHS tapes outside BHF*
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:39, archived)

i'm going to buy it
just to see the look on your face
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:32, archived)

you wouldn't dare, you swine

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:40, archived)

Thanks guv'nor
I'll work extra down the internet mine today for it, gawd bless yer.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:27, archived)

find a rich meme seam

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:27, archived)

some cunt got into my ebay account and changed the email address
fixed it now, thanks for your concern
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:32, archived)

that was either me or mcbeef

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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:35, archived)

ok, gaz me for the new password

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:37, archived)

It was an intervention
You have to stop buying Beanie Babies, for the sake of your family.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:36, archived)

I'LL STOP WHEN I GET CONGO CHIMP
that was ALWAYS the agreement
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:37, archived)

racist af

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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:38, archived)

wanna go halves on this?
www.etsy.com/listing/176860710/ultra-rare-first-edition-vintage?utm_campaign=shopping_us_HistoryCollector_sfc_osa&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_custom1=0&utm_content=9078819&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8ZOyzsWm1QIVTS-BCh31DQuNEAQYBSABEgIkY_D_BwE
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:43, archived)

Did they choose the colour from extreme brusing on the body or something?

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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:44, archived)

yes

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:44, archived)

nah, I've already got two

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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:47, archived)

one for wanking

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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:49, archived)

one for showin' and one for blowin'

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:54, archived)

yes

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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:00, archived)

Furry friend of mine had a Simba plushy that visitors were advised to refrain from handling.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:24, archived)

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:25, archived)

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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:31, archived)

i remember you talking about this before
my stance remains: eew
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:33, archived)

My anecdote pool is extremely shallow.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:42, archived)

strikey-g gene

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:44, archived)

might actually flog something on etsy
it's got to be cheaper than ebay to sell
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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:48, archived)

I wanted the lobster
But my ex wouldn't let me have it, the prick.
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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:50, archived)

What was he planning on doing with it?

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:54, archived)

pinchywank

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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:27, archived)

pinchy! :'(

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:30, archived)

neva 4get
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manolith hooray for me, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:36, archived)

Most likely

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Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 11:48, archived)

i.imgur.com/oaH8ocO.png
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:42, archived)

um, ok

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:43, archived)

omg I had to reset my ebay password this morning
wanna cyber?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:51, archived)

woah

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:53, archived)

only 152 days till christmas

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mongychops, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:51, archived)

get in!

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$$ ✅, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:54, archived)

pointless waste of time and money

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:02, archived)

how many shopping days left though?

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:53, archived)

28

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 10:54, archived)

shit
ok everyone is getting vouchers again this year
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 11:00, archived)

luncheon or book?

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 11:08, archived)

yes

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 11:15, archived)

Homemade ones for cuddles :(

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mongychops, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 11:16, archived)

oh
do they have a cash value?
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 11:19, archived)

I've got the IP address of where my ebay account was hacked from
What can I do with this? This question is for contestant number 2
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 26 Jul 2017, 11:24, archived)

Let's have a quiz, first person who gets it posts the next, dead or alive Micheal Aspell?

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 20:00, archived)

alive
Michael Parkinson?
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$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 20:02, archived)

Dead

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 20:04, archived)

Tbh I don't know

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 20:06, archived)

probably
he did do those life insurance ads so his other half is probably coining it in
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$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 20:11, archived)

that's michael winner and i think he's alive
edit - ooops, nope dead. well dead in fact
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sock more tea vicar?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 20:57, archived)

He's only acting, it's a commercial
haha, like that ad, member
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:11, archived)

I always thought he was a cunt.
But after watching Death Wish and a bit on youtube when he calls Richard Littlejohn an arsehole I've warmed to him.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 22:11, archived)

The Death Wish films are not very good.
But that clip of him calling Littlejohn a non is great.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 22:58, archived)

I liked Death Wish.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 23:17, archived)

I thought he was alive

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:26, archived)

is anyone checking these to adjudicate?

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:29, archived)

Nah, it's for fun

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:31, archived)

lorraine chase

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:14, archived)

Alive
Lu'on airpor'
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:25, archived)

Richard o sullivan

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:25, archived)

Alive
Patricia routlidge (sic) ? Onslos sister
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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:31, archived)

Alive but onslow is dead

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:32, archived)

Tony Slattery

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:33, archived)

Alive
Ruth Madoc
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:35, archived)

Alive, Keith Barron

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:37, archived)

Dead?
Bella emburg
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:38, archived)

Bella died I'm sure

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:41, archived)

Richard briers

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:42, archived)

Dead

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:46, archived)

Tom o'connor

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:46, archived)

Alive , Edward fox

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 22:23, archived)

I'm sure he was alive a couple of months ago...
Ray Reardon
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Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 23:45, archived)

alive

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Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:25, archived)

Charlie Gard

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Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:25, archived)

topical and edgy

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:27, archived)

Charlie Chalk

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:30, archived)

Charlie Chuck

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:32, archived)

dead
prunella scales?
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$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:43, archived)

dead
john cleese?
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:44, archived)

I think she's alive but alzheimers

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:47, archived)

Cleese is alive though

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:47, archived)

unlike that poor waiter who he beat to death, bastard

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 21:50, archived)

Pliers off of Chaka Demus & Pliers

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 22:05, archived)

I'm sure one died

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mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 22:20, archived)

It is raining as the French would say: like cows pissing
why do you not care about how the French say things?
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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:28, archived)

Because brexit, probably.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:29, archived)

I see that's going quite well
NOT
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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:40, archived)

I'm happy to pay more for chocolate biscuits, as I am a TRUE PATRIOT.
Not really, it's all mongy's fault.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:45, archived)

Thx

(

mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:12, archived)

:)

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:18, archived)

omelette du fromage

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$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:29, archived)

*pushes button*

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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:37, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8098173
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manolith hooray for me, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:41, archived)

I've heard that they also say "it's raining rope"
I mean, probably not all of them. Some of them, occaisonally.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:31, archived)

just avoid the French while in Paris

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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:38, archived)

that's good advice, thanks

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:56, archived)

You know that stereotype about French waiters being cunts?
It's only a stereotype cos its troo
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broadsword w⚓, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:41, archived)

they're called "garçon"
because they like being called "boy"
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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:45, archived)

They love it when you click your fingers at them whilst barking that.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:22, archived)

eric cantona

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$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:17, archived)

have you seen that film where eric cantona is some blokes imaginary friend?
it's quite good
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:19, archived)

Searching for Eric?
Ken Loach did that IIRC.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:22, archived)

Harvey?

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:40, archived)

He's just a shill for Big Lager.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:21, archived)

larger

(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:47, archived)

Nice

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:49, archived)

What a shock! said no one
www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/charlie-gard-professor-who-offered-to-help-baby-has-financial-interest-in-drug-he-was-treating-him-with-says-gosh/ar-AAoNRie?li=BBoPWjQ&ocid=mailsignout
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:45, archived)

I like links that tell you the article, to save you clicking.

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 17:01, archived)

tru

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 17:02, archived)

me too

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 17:08, archived)

Gosh was the worse place I ever worked, the little body bags are heartbreaking

(

mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 18:12, archived)

Sorry to be so grim
But watching a tiny coffin being lowered into the ground is just about the worst thing I've ever seen
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 18:36, archived)

Rip wee jimmie krankie

(

mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 19:59, archived)

It's been too long since I last started a thread,
so I'm starting one now. What has it been too long since you last did?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:03, archived)

Bust out my pimp slap.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:05, archived)

Went swimming
And had a holiday
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:07, archived)

arrows with two hats

(

$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:08, archived)

1cc'd Metal Slug

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:09, archived)

thanks RK, now I'm thinking about all the stuff I enjoy doing that I haven't done for years due a lack of time, money and companionship
you dick
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:09, archived)

I'm just the voice of your conscience, Grrry, telling you to get out there and enjoy life.
In Ewan McGregor's voice and everything, like in the film.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:13, archived)

Robots?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:14, archived)

Moulin Rouge or sutin.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:19, archived)

I liked that film.
Terry Wogan was in it, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:20, archived)

No he wasn't

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:23, archived)

Yes, he was.
See?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:26, archived)

oh ok
I guess I've only ever seen the US version
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:26, archived)

Jeremy Clarkson is in Cars.
I don't know what we did to upset the American animation studios, but they seem keen to punish us Brits.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:28, archived)

Yeah, I knew that one
and Jonathon Ross/Jay Leno in Shrek
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:28, archived)

That was Gary Numan.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:34, archived)

You big silly.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:52, archived)

hmm, i'm not sure about this
i've seen the film a few times on uk tv and never heard any of those people in it.
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:29, archived)

I bought Zootopia through Amazon, last week, and it wasn't the localised version.
Seems to be a bit inconsistent.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:40, archived)

I didn't even know they localised films.
Similarly thanks to a discussion I had on another forum, there are actually two different versions of Trading Places. One where JLC gets her breasts out and one where she doesn't. These were different scenes rather than it just being chopped out for telly.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:44, archived)

Ngi M'boku? From Truro?
It's me, Loinel Joseph!
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:48, archived)

i liked that film

(

mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:44, archived)

Me, too.
Tommy Chong and a "Breaking Bad" gag were strange additions to a kids film, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:48, archived)

i enjoyed the sloth and the little gangster fella

(

mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:53, archived)

i like it too
what do you think of that?
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:27, archived)

One of us is having a "stopped clock" moment.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:30, archived)

you're right, I should sell my kid and buy a car for banger racing

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:26, archived)

You know it makes sense.
You could form a racing team with Smash Monkey and call yourselves Bangers and Smash.

Or not, you know.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:33, archived)

he'd have to do all the driving

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:23, archived)

That one where the biker rode to Australia
And Ewen was the spirit of his dead cousin or something?
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:32, archived)

The what now?
That's not ringing any bells at all.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:35, archived)

Long Way Down I think it was called

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:38, archived)

Looks like you're right.
I've discovered the existence of all sorts of films thanks to /talk.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:44, archived)

Bit of a stretch calling it a film, more a shit TV series

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:55, archived)

wank into a cocked hat

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:14, archived)

book yourself a room and treat yourself
www.fayre-square.com/pub/cocked-hat-binley-woods-coventry/m8860/
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:23, archived)

seems reasonable

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:25, archived)

Kissed a dolphin
Seaworld are dicks about that sort of thing.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:20, archived)

K P
+ on
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:26, archived)

dunno

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:21, archived)

Congratulated a b3tan on their post
Nice post btw
(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:23, archived)

I think you meant to say "Woo! Yay!"
Possibly in the form of an animated gif.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:27, archived)

Nice response
I like this!
(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:29, archived)

"hi cockalorum!"

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:41, archived)

gone over to mcbeef's to listen to some of his gabber records

(

$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:32, archived)

I've not seen a Nessie in the zoo in a long time.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:36, archived)

Looks like S3 Rick and Morty is getting netflixed in the UK as it airs in the US.
www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/rick-and-morty-new-season-3-release-date-uk-us-how-to-watch-stream-online-netflix-tv-adult-swim-a7857711.html
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:49, archived)

This is good news.
Reading that article make it seem like "Rickshank Redemption" isn't going to be included on Netflix, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:55, archived)

Bum rush the show

(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:54, archived)

Wanked a flamingo

(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:09, archived)

had a normal life

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:17, archived)

Been so lucky
lucky lucky lucky
(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:20, archived)

punched fuck out of someone

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:22, archived)

I haven't done that for 20 years.
It's a minor miracle when I think back to how much certain people have pissed me off.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:28, archived)

sometimes it's nice to be right in the middle of a big punch-up

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:30, archived)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fucking mental has decided that heartburn means she's dying, so now i have to rush back home and take her to the walk-in centre, where we will have the pleasure of sitting it a hot and sweaty waiting room for 3 hours, before being told to go to the hospital.
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:34, archived)

Could just buy her some gaviscon, rather than knowingly wasting the NHS's resources.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:45, archived)

^ this

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:57, archived)

£63 for a walk-in attendance, then at least that again when she turns up in A&E.
£91 if you turn up whilst dead, for some reason.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 15:16, archived)

If it was up to me i would
But then she goes on her own without telling me
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 16:16, archived)

blamed the jews for 9/11

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 14:24, archived)

we can do better than this

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:46, archived)

We can
you can't
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:47, archived)

don't try and pretend you're any better "m8"

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:48, archived)

t n
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:56, archived)

one feather boa is more than enough

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:00, archived)

You can laugh at the world. You can laugh until you're sick. You can laugh at anything you want. But I'm laughing back at you.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:51, archived)

cheers

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:03, archived)

I am going to gaz the relevant nerds in a minute.
Just had a load of work foisted upon me.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:53, archived)

I wouldn't bother with sock
he seems a bit angry about how life has panned out for him
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:59, archived)

I'm angry about how life has panned out for him

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:01, archived)

I'm just angry

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:09, archived)

why m8?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:12, archived)

I've spent a lot of money on something that doesn't work

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:14, archived)

What, your marriage?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:15, archived)

Penus enhancements

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:19, archived)

Stick a torch on the end.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:20, archived)

I just spoke to a French lady on the telephone and now my thingy feels a bit fizzy

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:53, archived)

There was a french project manager I used to work with here
And she pronounced 'circuits' as 'SAIR KWITS'. Telecommunications has never been so sexy.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:56, archived)

French accents aren't sexy
This is an absolutist statement, but it's better than the "DAE French sux" format so it's what I'm sticking with because I can't be arsed to edit this comment any further.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:58, archived)

don't try to spoil this for me

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:00, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/6972361
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:04, archived)

If you like being talked down to by sexy women
Go to Norway, it is a land of them.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:03, archived)

^ tggi

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:06, archived)

YEAH
LETS DO THIS
(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 11:56, archived)

<< America's that way m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:06, archived)

This is still true no matter which way you face.
Like, woah.
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:09, archived)

If you stand at the North Pole you'd need to go south to get to Spain
and south to get to China
yet by going south you wouldn't go through both Spain and China on the same trip

Really, like, makes you think, eh??
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:17, archived)

Really?
I mean, it's no horse drawing challenge so far
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:02, archived)

haha
we shan't see the dizzying heights of horse-drawing challenge again, that's for sure
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:02, archived)

I printed yours out
Yours was THAT good
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:06, archived)

that's because it was the best

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:07, archived)

Best at SUCKING

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:20, archived)

woah
I did NOT see that coming
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:23, archived)

did I win a prize for mine?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:06, archived)

yeah
but it was meat
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:07, archived)

horse meat?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:37, archived)

It's difficult to tell

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:47, archived)

this could turn into a great joke if you think of all the different meanings of 'draw'

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:05, archived)

Pulling a pint of horse requires excellent draughtmanship

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:05, archived)

disgusting

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:06, archived)

RIP popbitch messageboard

(

$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:10, archived)

Here's a good one
imgur.com/gallery/M5mHS

It's like he just kept on going, hoping a punchline would emerge. It didn't.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:12, archived)

yeah I just looked at the rest of their comics
fucking dog shit
(

$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:17, archived)

what we need is some outrageous gossip or scandal involving the four remaining users

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:14, archived)

what we need is some outrageous gossip or scandal involving the four remaining users

(

$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:18, archived)

what we need is some outrageous gossip or scandal involving the four remaining users

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:20, archived)

what we need is some outrageous gossip or scandal involving the four remaining users

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:23, archived)

this place just hasn't been the same since pizzagate

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:26, archived)

Well I heard
One of them is like a Ken doll and has a wipe clean surface where his wang should be, except uglier than a Ken doll.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:26, archived)

have you been cheating on us with another messageboard?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:16, archived)

Finally we are the no1 forum

(

mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:18, archived)

Am I the only one who thought that had stopped existing in about 2012?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:22, archived)

No.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:26, archived)

DAE pOpBitCh suXX

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:26, archived)

What's "DAE"?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:38, archived)

A big, shouty Welshman.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:41, archived)

"Does anyone else?"
It's the new teen formula for asserting how unique and weird and insightful they are.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:42, archived)

I see.
I'm glad that I speak neither reddit nor mumsnet.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:44, archived)

Yep
The 'external' one. The private one will be continuing I'm sure.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:31, archived)

My will to do better is matched only by my apathy

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:14, archived)

~~to do better is matched only by my apath~~
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:24, archived)

lol, willy!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:26, archived)

lol!

(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:37, archived)

come on m8, grow up, yeah?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 12:57, archived)

Can I download the Furtive bear?
Here's the cliches but please think twice about using them. We have seen 1000s of variations on the same themes and would much prefer you used fresh images.
Try looking at todays papers or thinking of something really odd to type into google images.
(

$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 13:03, archived)

morning
let's do this one by the book, by the numbers, shipshape and spick and span.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 7:13, archived)

Afternoo - FUCK!
morning
(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 7:25, archived)

I'm going to have to write you up for this

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 7:26, archived)

Just seen the trailer for the new series of Stranger Things.
A good start to what promises to be a fairly shitty day.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 7:42, archived)

I quite liked the first season

(

H.B.Mupps, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 7:48, archived)

Fingers crossed they don't go off the rails and ruin it.
It worked well as a one off, so I hope they've still got a good story to tell.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:37, archived)

that's good
I finally got round to finishing Vikings yesterday so I need a new series for the few nights I have time to watch something.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:07, archived)

Stranger things was really good I thought.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:26, archived)

I'm hoping the second series of The Last Kingdom gets on Netflix sooner rather than later, as I missed it on BBC.
Is Vikings any good?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:31, archived)

Lets put it this way
After watching a season of Vikings, The Last Kingdom looks like a low budget late night BBC drama done by drama undergraduates for their final project.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:35, archived)

Sir yes sir

(

broadsword w⚓, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 7:57, archived)

* full metal jacket quote *
`
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:07, archived)

Morning.
Does this involve the battening-down of hatches?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 7:59, archived)

no m8, just do the job that's expected of you to the best of your ability

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:08, archived)

That's a relief.
I've always been hazy on the concept of battening.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:13, archived)

galvanised 1" clout nails through the batten into every rafter, hth

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:15, archived)

Pfff
Galvanised 1" clout
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:18, archived)

I stopped in at the BMRCO meet last night.
Strange bunch. Had a nice ride out though.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Jul 2017, 7:59, archived)

Bummer company?

(

mongychops, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:04, archived)

Yup

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:41, archived)

I need to join a car club to get cheaper insurance
but I don't want to have to associate with car club members :(
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:08, archived)

They just seemed really keen for me to join, in spite of the fact I was half their age and my bike was from Czech

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:17, archived)

Can't you just buy a membership and not go to any of their meetings?
Or is that not how it works?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:22, archived)

You need recommendations from 2 current members to join
I know one bloke, but I'd need to go for a drink with him and meet all the other weirdy beardies so that they can check me out. Not sure it's worth the hassle.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:26, archived)

Lol, members

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:26, archived)

Mmh.
Sounds like you'd end up spending on drinks what you'd save on insurance.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:27, archived)

Bristol fashion?

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:14, archived)

phwoar bristols etc
soz lady boarder
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:15, archived)

I am confused as to why boobs are called bristols

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:17, archived)

in b4 two hats

(

$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:28, archived)

Oh, is he not here yet?
I hadn't noticed.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:37, archived)

you pair of fucks

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:49, archived)

light him up

(

$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:49, archived)

hi

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:44, archived)

alright david drimbleby

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:51, archived)

y u

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:53, archived)

also inb4 two hats
(subthread replies don't count)
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 8:56, archived)

right, I'm leaving forever

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:00, archived)

good work manolith
That dopey fuck deserves to come in last place
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:02, archived)

morning

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:27, archived)

good morning

(

$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:28, archived)

man, what a week, eh?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:29, archived)

you know it!

(

$$ ✅, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:31, archived)

nice of you to finally join us

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:29, archived)

I prefer to make an entrance

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:29, archived)

like the kool aid man, you fat fuck

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:32, archived)

right, that's it
I'm leaving forever
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:37, archived)

close the wall on your way out

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:50, archived)

~~o make an~~ he tradesman's
(

manolith hooray for me, Tue 25 Jul 2017, 9:56, archived)

*sigh*
www.bbc.com/news/world-40702752
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:50, archived)

cheer up it's danny dyer's birthday

(

mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:53, archived)

many happy returns

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:54, archived)

twitter.com/MrDDyer/status/380377522174570496
(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:21, archived)

christ

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:36, archived)

that really made me lol

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:58, archived)

They should make him race a great white.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:30, archived)

This post was found to contain the words 'white', 'race' and 'great'
You have therefore been banned for being a white supremacist.
(

God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:08, archived)

was the pile of smouldering crucifixes and the pillowcase with eye holes not a clue?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:11, archived)

Finally a scripture I can subscribe to

(

broadsword w⚓, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:12, archived)

Alright, God.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:22, archived)

prick

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:26, archived)

Careful young(?) man. I could shrink yours to the size of a grain of rice

(

God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:34, archived)

Oh, I'll have some whizz as well if you're offering, ta.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:42, archived)

you wouldn't dare

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 16:02, archived)

he's all mouth m8

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 16:07, archived)

ahh the happy toast school of moderation

(

mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 16:06, archived)

Is nothing real anymore?
Watched Minority Report last night, thought I'd seen it before. Turns out I have, but probably fell asleep when he "commits" the murder and missed the next 30 minutes of boringness.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:57, archived)

No, everything is an illusion of some kind

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:05, archived)

alright, Jean Baudrillard

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:09, archived)

alright

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:09, archived)

not bad thanks, you?

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:10, archived)

I could complain, but who'd listen!? hahaha no I'm great

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:16, archived)

Use your illusion
Parts 1 & 2
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:18, archived)

I started watching Top Secret, but went to bed.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:38, archived)

Val Kilmer's finest role
Then Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, then Heat.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:53, archived)

but is it art?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:57, archived)

=IF(ISNUMBER(SEARCH("Paul Simon",A1)),"Not art","Art")

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:00, archived)

Yes
It exists only for the purpose of being looked at.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:06, archived)

+f

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:09, archived)

+ garfunkel raping a baby panda

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:10, archived)

buuuuurning like fi-ire

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:15, archived)

Turns out Jade Goody was a vacuum cleaner in a dress and makeup all along,
fitted with a voice synthesiser that read out the comments texted in to a late-night chatline.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:04, archived)

come on m8
saying that she was a vacuum cleaner implies that she was useful in some way
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:07, archived)

Alright then, a broken vacuum cleaner that's been hit by lightning and fused solid inside
so you can't even cannibalise it for parts.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:15, archived)

now we're talking

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:16, archived)

I threw out my old vacuum cleaner, it was just collecting dust.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:16, archived)

I'm amazed that some people actually thought he would really be racing the shark in open water

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:05, archived)

inorite

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:06, archived)

why didn't he just wank it off

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:09, archived)

hahaha
that's a really good question, dollars.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:13, archived)

I for one would like to see more sportspeople wanking marine mammals

(

broadsword w⚓, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:57, archived)

Kriss Akabusi: My dolphin wanking adventures

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:00, archived)

Taylor Swiftzzzzzz

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:59, archived)

They should do a race between Feargal Sharkey, Sharlto Copley (because his name sounds a bit like a shark) and a shark.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:21, archived)

They should make Michael Phelps bust crime, undersea.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:31, archived)

CSI: Atlantis

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:39, archived)

I would probably watch an Aquaman / CSI crossover.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:47, archived)

I'll watch you in a minute sunshine

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:50, archived)

Who knows what wacky hijinks I'll be getting up to next?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:52, archived)

I raced a shark around the world in 80 days

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:26, archived)

How long did that take?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:32, archived)

I didn't allow for timezones so I don't know

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:37, archived)

can't have been more than a week

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 13:45, archived)

I was in a jet, the shark had a pedalo

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:09, archived)

bullshit
where are you getting a jet?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:14, archived)

any of these would do
i.imgur.com/6NeKpP2.png
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:13, archived)

this more like
iv1.lisimg.com/image/9521857/640full-jimbo-and-the-jet--set-screenshot.jpg
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:15, archived)

I'm not going outside the ring road mate, they're all scum

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:16, archived)

sensible

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:24, archived)

~~road~~ piece
lol
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:26, archived)

lol indeed!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 15:29, archived)

man city are spunking money, left, right and centre

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:13, archived)

fucking stupid wankers

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:15, archived)

that's so hot

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:24, archived)

~~city~~ and other man

~~money~~
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:34, archived)

am i supposed to do something with this information?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:34, archived)

Be outraged that the men's team are getting paid considerably more than the women's?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:42, archived)

Fuck 'em. Anyone who has anything to do with, or even knows anything about football is vile reactionary scum, probably.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:51, archived)

Nah, m8, they're all lesbians, you can't fuck 'em.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:54, archived)

Still don't think they'll win the league
All these signing have to gel in a month, no chance.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:35, archived)

I hope pep gets the boot six games in

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:41, archived)

It would make my summer
Although they would then try and poach Benitez probably.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:43, archived)

And cal.
Not to mention that Rob Manuel.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:46, archived)

christ, me too
I'm literally praying for that outcome
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:58, archived)

May as well - you can't take it with you, after all.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 14:38, archived)

Mid morning thread
Air your personal grievances about your weekends or this morning. Unless you are zen about life, then tell me about animals that are hard to draw.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:29, archived)

coughing, fever, moody wife, crying child, roasting heat and in law visits
This weekend was a peach
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:33, archived)

My weekend was alright.
I haven't an artistic bone in my body, so all animals are hard to draw.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:35, archived)

what about stick insects?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:38, archived)

Was playing Drawful on the weekend and had to draw "inquisitive chipmunks"
Set out to draw a squirrel and it just ended as a big blue blob.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:38, archived)

I always thought artistry required creativity
Just looking at something and making a copy of it on paper isn't really artistic, unless you imbue it with your own creative style. Drawing an animal is just draughtmanship.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:39, archived)

all autism, no artism

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:40, archived)

I got mistaken for a staff member at the comic shop / pokégym, on Saturday.
Got given the spiel on the latest Warhammer revisions, by the actual staff, too. I think i'm regressing.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:55, archived)

not a good sign

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:07, archived)

On the contrary, I think I've found my people.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:09, archived)

how do they feel about double deckers?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:13, archived)

Uh-oh, that could be a dealbreaker.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:26, archived)

muslims

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:46, archived)

They ain't animals m8

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:48, archived)

all homo sapiens are

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:59, archived)

Big fat timewaster of a concert on Saturday, and my work today is so dull I wouldn't even foist it on the work experience kid.
I can't draw, so all animals fit into the 'hard to draw' category.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:48, archived)

Not even a turtle?

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:49, archived)

not even a starfish?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:51, archived)

WHAT ABOUT STICK INSECTS?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:51, archived)

Michael Jacksonszzzzzz

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:52, archived)

he'

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:05, archived)

Apart from an argument with the neighbour I've already mentioned,
I've also thrown my back out, really hard to lift anything or bend down. Might whinge about that all day.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:53, archived)

maybe you could get it back before the bin men pick it up?
i accidentally threw out some water filters the other day but managed to grab them before they were gone for good
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:17, archived)

sexist

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:48, archived)

Stick insects.
I can never get their mandibles right.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:59, archived)

Draw a female one instead then

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:02, archived)

I can't draw womdibles, either.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:08, archived)

just draw wimbledon common then
and claim it's the womdible during its underground phase
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:12, archived)

tennis is rubbish

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:17, archived)

^ hates the game, not the player

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:27, archived)

i like that lady one who scratched her bum in the 90s

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:56, archived)

I had that on my bedroom wall.
When the future Mrs munch visited me at home and saw that my bedroom walls were entirely covered with girlie pics, her word to describe it was "disturbing".
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:07, archived)

men would've been more disturbing

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:08, archived)

I could have added the occasional "man holding baby" poster from Athena, as a little "something for the ladies".
But there were almost never any ladies in my room, so what would have been the point?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:11, archived)

in case you fancied a gay wank?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:14, archived)

I'm just so inconsiderate.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:20, archived)

Agreed
thank fuck drimbledon is over
(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:06, archived)

i.imgur.com/O7B1czs.jpg
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:19, archived)

nice

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:24, archived)

come on, tim!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:36, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/8100082
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:40, archived)

you should probably have booked seats closer to the courtside

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:48, archived)

new balls please

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:48, archived)

Having to complete the annual mandatory 'emergency preparedness' course
Every year I forget how totally fucking stupid and pointless it is. 'In case of a fire, call your local emergency services number'.

Well fuck me.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:33, archived)

poo on the floor

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:37, archived)

I tried that
but it just upset my wife
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:39, archived)

I don't think 'preparedness' is a proper word.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:41, archived)

It's as real as 'webinar' or 'innovention'

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:42, archived)

I don't like this new trend of being 'mindful' of things. We had a word for that, it was 'aware'.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:52, archived)

Everything this company does is designed to cover themselves in every eventuality
Burned in a fire? Not our fault, we told you to phone the fire brigade. Here's a piece of paper that says you completed the course.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:58, archived)

I know the feeling.
I love those really crap anti-rsi things they make you do on the computer, knowing full well you're going to slouch, because sitting properly is really uncomfy.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:00, archived)

lol bummed in a fire

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:18, archived)

haha yes working here does feel a bit like that sometimes

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:20, archived)

lucky

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:22, archived)

yes

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:23, archived)

You can go to Timbuktu, but you'll never see a preparedness in a zoo

(

mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:56, archived)

and that's true

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:59, archived)

my weekend was pretty good, I got drunk and pissed up on booze
I drawed a horse to show how easy it is: imgur.com/a/MCcd6
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:44, archived)

sick horse, bro

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:47, archived)

like "spina bifida" sick

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:48, archived)

sweet hooves

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:49, archived)

drunk AND pissed up?
how very bacchanalian
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 11:59, archived)

lol anal ian

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:04, archived)

goes quite well with Arson Dave

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:09, archived)

~~goes~~ cums
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:12, archived)

lol

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:11, archived)

double lol

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 12:23, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:16, archived)

Morning

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:22, archived)

which one are you again?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:32, archived)

Baldmonkey.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:35, archived)

wakki af

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:37, archived)

added some clarification

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:11, archived)

cheers modolith

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:12, archived)

He'

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:32, archived)

this one is the one that only a couple of people have on ignore for being a tedious bellend
as opposed to the one that several people have on ignore for being a tedious bellend
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:00, archived)

waka waka

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:41, archived)

it wouldn't surprise me if you lived in a gay partnership

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:42, archived)

It's proper pissing down, here.
You'd love it.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:46, archived)

it's better than what I've got here
stupid hot temps
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:58, archived)

Phwoar

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:12, archived)

Wahey!
#brazzers
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:14, archived)

Alright mm
youtu.be/cuF9aZxoipE
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:17, archived)

That made me smile.
Cheers, Gormo.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:11, archived)

Alright,
How's it going?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:47, archived)

still ill
doctor's appointment at lunchtime to get a sicknote and some fucking answers.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:58, archived)

Got the tank on the bike yesterday and the new headlight.
Looks the business.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:01, archived)

I need a pic m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:07, archived)

I didn't take a pic, it's not a hipster dinner it's a motorbike.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:24, archived)

Probably some places that will serve your aubergine-fried cous cous in a sand-blasted fuel tank

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:29, archived)

MONOS MORNHOLE

(

H.B.Mupps, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:52, archived)

who was mono and why did anyone care about his bottom?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 7:59, archived)

a miserable prick (at least towards the end)
i have no idea why his bumhole was so important though
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:35, archived)

morning, trouser lovers

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:53, archived)

I've had a look, turns out it's illegal to do any vehicle repairs for business purposes on a public street,
Or regular work that causes a nuisance. One off or irregular repairs are fine as long as they don't constitute a nuisance. So I'm going to go and kick the wing mirrors off his Audi.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:58, archived)

lol
The guy tried to be cheeky, and got called on it. He's just embarrassed.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:00, archived)

His wife said he had PTSD from Afghanistan. But he was only about 5'4"

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:04, archived)

Maybe he went there on a business trip and lost a lot of money

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:05, archived)

Possible drummer boy.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:23, archived)

dr b

lol
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:24, archived)

lol, you card!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:35, archived)

hey I'm wearing trousers right now!

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:59, archived)

Gabardine man, eh?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:01, archived)

happy 47th wedding anniversary to my mum and dad

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:58, archived)

dunno if they'll read this or not but I've no plans to get them a card

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:59, archived)

Congratulations mum & dad
I never get things for other people's anniversaries. It's personal between the two of them, innit.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:02, archived)

Yeah I always find it a bit weird when my wife's family give us cards
especially as we don't bother getting each other cards
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:11, archived)

I thought the whole point of cards was to send them to people that you wouldn't see in person on the occasion in question?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:13, archived)

yer
my dad phoned to congratulate me on my first, and turned to my wife and told her happy anniversary since we'd both forgotten since it's such a non-event.

This attitude annoys my dad no end, which is an added bonus.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:11, archived)

Can't really blame your wife for trying to forget that she's married to you.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:34, archived)

morning
www.euronews.com/2017/04/30/finns-compete-in-annual-hobby-horse-championship
(

mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:00, archived)

I love the Finns
They have this stone-faced seriousness about life up until they've had about four vodkas, at which point a switch gets flipped and they turn into the most ridiculously mental people on the planet.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:01, archived)

Vasta vastaa vasta vastaavasta vastavastaavasta

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:04, archived)

bargain holiday rental
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:04, archived)

won't be any decent carp in that lake, i'd rather go poland or croatia

(

mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:13, archived)

accomodates 10, but there are only 2 bedrooms and 4 beds?
and only the one bathroom?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:20, archived)

and no hot running water

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:23, archived)

salt is included though

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:37, archived)

the first three are just running, no points from me I'm afraid
the fourth one at least makes a bit of effort to look as though she's riding a horse
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:06, archived)

they don't even look like regulation hobby horses to me, just a head on a very short stick

(

mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:15, archived)

surprised there aren't strict eu guidelines on this
no wonder cornwall voted leave
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:23, archived)

get in!

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:08, archived)

haha, uh-oh, here comes trouble!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:09, archived)

Grill ’em, bake ’em, fry ’em, eat ’em, Birds Eye potato waffles, they’re waffely versatile!

(

$$ ✅, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:09, archived)

alright Frank

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:12, archived)

hadn't thought of it like that

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:13, archived)

I've always done the first three, but never thought of eating them.
Crazy.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:20, archived)

^ Big Chief Type Bollocks

(

mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:22, archived)

^ little plum

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:38, archived)

Morning

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:26, archived)

it's ok, you made it

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:36, archived)

Just about

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 9:46, archived)

Alright

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:05, archived)

no m8
I coughed so hard my arsehole turned inside out
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:08, archived)

Just don't cough like that while having a piss
Unless you want blood in your piss.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:10, archived)

hi dicks

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:12, archived)

no trainer chat

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:15, archived)

But I want to talk snorlax

(

mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:18, archived)

i still don't have one
gonna try and get an articuno today though
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:34, archived)

nor me, keep seeing them in raids but 25k points

(

mongychops, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:42, archived)

Bollocks to you
Trainer chat 4 eva
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:20, archived)

oh great, the pussy's here

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:16, archived)

^asshole

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:30, archived)

must be time for a new thread

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:18, archived)

we can only hope

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 10:19, archived)

I'm off to see Dunkirk in a minute and I've got hiccups
You having anything nice for dinner?
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 16:42, archived)

My grandad said it was shit

(

mongychops, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 16:46, archived)

How unpatriotic of him.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 20:25, archived)

Only cos his side lost.

(

Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 0:05, archived)

Whatever I can eat that doesn't need cooking

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 17:18, archived)

pot noodle

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 17:40, archived)

Can't eat those

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 19:07, archived)

lettuce

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:06, archived)

I have lettuce
And cream cheese with chives
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 19:07, archived)

I saw some lovely graff on my seaside stroll
imgur.com/a/z6jNN

Then I went to B&M for some teatowels, it smelt of piss and the woman at the till told me to give her my card 'just in case' as I was packing them and 4 bottles of efes into my bag. Not had that before.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 17:20, archived)

Sounds like Scarborough

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 17:41, archived)

Classic Aberdeen!

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:18, archived)

Alright dozer, you big gype.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:21, archived)

Dunno who that is

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 19:33, archived)

Just in case what?
You leg it with the shopping?
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:19, archived)

I assume so, yes.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:20, archived)

Home made sarnies on a train
Go fuck yourself
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:18, archived)

I wouldn't mind seeing it
mussels in garlic butter sauce & sweet potato mash with cheese
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:31, archived)

oooo it looks very good! have fun :)
CHICKEN AND VEG FULLSTOP.
(

sock more tea vicar?, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:37, archived)

I just got in a fight with a bloke from 3 doors down.
No punches thrown, but I fear for my life now.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:39, archived)

did you leg kick?

(

sock more tea vicar?, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:40, archived)

Proper van damming

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:58, archived)

I watched Timecop recently and was pleasantly surprised.
Plus it had her from Ferris Bueller in it.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 19:07, archived)

van damme is nothing more than a ballet dancer with a silly accent

(

sock more tea vicar?, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 19:12, archived)

Thair's
nevair
e-nuff
tam
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 19:14, archived)

And then later on he punches a snake in the face

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 19:17, archived)

pfffft, snakes are nature's marsh mallows

(

sock more tea vicar?, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 19:24, archived)

What was it about?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:41, archived)

I moved a pallet he'd left outside his house to save a space.
He kicked off.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 23 Jul 2017, 19:35, archived)

Fuck that cunt
You were in the right
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 20:55, archived)

Sounds like it.
But then my attitude towards parking is apparently unfavorable.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 21:05, archived)

I'm only sorry I wasn't here to start an argument and make myself even less popular.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 23:19, archived)

PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE CAR AND GET READY TO DIE.
twitter.com/BeaumontHorace/status/888804055690203136
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 23:51, archived)

Kylie Minogue's less-succeszzzzz

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 0:58, archived)

I can't pretend to have any idea what was going on there.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 24 Jul 2017, 8:13, archived)

He said it was illegal to work on my bike in the street as well.
When I pointed out he could fuck off he took offense.
I went and apologised to his wife for calling her a stupid cunt, but he refused to come to the door to shake hands and call it a stupid argument over nothing.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 23 Jul 2017, 21:24, archived)

I think someone's tried to tell me that before when I was doing the power steering on my car.
Bit late when I've got the bumpers, lights and the radiator off innit?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 22:52, archived)

lots of pallets are privately owned. Should've threatened to take it up with CHEP.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 21:06, archived)

Good idea.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 23 Jul 2017, 21:26, archived)

I was out with my boy the other day walking along a canal when some wanker with a Pittbull came along
Dog not on a lead, runs straight up to my boy, I tell him to get away and that the dog should be on a lead.

He called me a cunt. I think we may have met before.
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 18:51, archived)

Brad Arnold?

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 22:49, archived)

morning

(

manolith hooray for me, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 0:56, archived)

Alright

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 1:00, archived)

cheers

(

manolith hooray for me, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 1:29, archived)

alright

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 5:52, archived)

Merely a technicality.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 8:03, archived)

Morning
I should have been in Florence today, sipping a nice glass of franciacorta in a cafe near the Duomo.
Instead I'm getting covered in Ready Brek as my daughter refuses to eat her breakfast whilst my wife's vomiting noisily upstairs.
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 8:19, archived)

Just remember that this is all your own fault.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 8:27, archived)

Innit though

(

broadsword w⚓, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 9:27, archived)

They both look naked in this top photo, bit weird
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40692457
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 11:36, archived)

Children and their parents being naked together isn't all that wierd.
"Sons affected by mother's passing" being a top news story, that's a bit wierd.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 11:51, archived)

Afternoon all!
i shall soon be preparing for what promises to be a by-the-book piss up and all nighter with the lads.
any exciting plans?
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 15:43, archived)

no
the in-laws are here so the spawn is taken care of, but I feel rough so my night's potentially wasted.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 16:31, archived)

i always say
if you're feeling ill anyway, you might as well get pissed
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 16:33, archived)

I'm off to the pub in a minute.
Only for a couple mind.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 22 Jul 2017, 16:41, archived)

Currently undecided.
I'm tempted to go to the cinema. I'm also tempted to cane it and watch films on my hard drive.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 16:54, archived)

Go for option B

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 17:58, archived)

~~option~~ Zyklon
(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Jul 2017, 18:32, archived)

Option B it is going to be.
My spectacularly loud neighbours have been doing a very credible impression of howler monkeys for the past hour, so a dash of the old sauce would take the edge off that very nicely.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 18:36, archived)

More than a dash

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 18:42, archived)

I believe a 'dash' is an old regional measurement of volume equating to fourteen modern pints.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 18:43, archived)

Not really, recovering from a hangover

(

H.B.Mupps, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 17:08, archived)

Quiet and boring evening in for me. Doing a madras though, so not all bad.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 17:14, archived)

Nice!

(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 17:59, archived)

Invade Poland.

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Jul 2017, 18:22, archived)

invade it with your love, dear stuj

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 18:23, archived)

:D

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Jul 2017, 18:29, archived)

Try the Pierogi
And remember to tip your waitress
(

Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 18:43, archived)

No
I have to look after the baby whilst the wife vomits
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 19:14, archived)

I think your diagnosis was wrong
There's nothing wrong with my stomach, but my throat's fucked.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 19:46, archived)

Sorry no refunds

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 21:20, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhcIpp6LqXQ
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 0:19, archived)

Going to see Dunkirk in a bit.

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 23 Jul 2017, 15:23, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 8:37, archived)

Hello.
Feeling better?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 8:40, archived)

yes and no
lost my voice now
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:08, archived)

is one of your other senses improved now that another is gone?

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:19, archived)

Pardon?
Hahahahahahaha!
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:24, archived)

HE SAID "BUMMERS ARE DEAF"

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:29, archived)

Probably all that spunk in their ears

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Jul 2017, 17:58, archived)

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 10:40, archived)

morning

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 8:57, archived)

yup

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:08, archived)

Got Khanate on the stereo here

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:45, archived)

not listened to them in yonks
Which album?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 10:34, archived)

Clean Hands Go Foul

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 11:24, archived)

Alright

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:06, archived)

yer you?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:08, archived)

No mate.
That prick really fucked the dog with my tanks. Full of sand and really difficult to get out. He knocked quite a lot of money off but it's proving difficult. I run a fuel filter because old tanks flake rust no matter what you do, but this is stupid.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:19, archived)

kneecap the motherfucker

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 10:37, archived)

may the saturday be with you

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:18, archived)

lol like galaxy quest!

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 10:38, archived)

m0rn1ng

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:24, archived)

leet

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 10:35, archived)

mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorning

(

broadsword w⚓, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:26, archived)

alright ermintrude

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 10:38, archived)

Scone Palace m8
Level 42, Trevor Horn Band, Musical Youth, The Undertones, The Real Thing, Heather Small, Go West, Chesney Hawkes, T'Pau, The Human League, Nick Kershaw and Dom Robinson.
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 9:49, archived)

jesus christ that sounds awful

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 10:38, archived)

although soneone linked to an album on here full of great music fir kids parties
and now I can't find the thread
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 10:39, archived)

I wanted a film that didn't require much thought so I watched The Equalizer.
The plot's all over the shop, but I enjoyed the bit where Denzil goes after people in B&Q with a Hilti gun.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 13:13, archived)

Last night's gig was the worst bait-and-switch in the history of live gigs, maybe ever.
We were promised some decent crunchy and bleepy electronica. We were given a muppet with a Mac who lazily mixed his way through some commercial rip-off of tribal house and threw in a few Latin pop tracks for good measure. He'd even been 'playing' for three-quarters of an hour before we realised it was the actual gig and not the warm-up act.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 13:38, archived)

Did they actually change the line-up or did the guy just turn up and do a really half-arsed job?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 13:44, archived)

I don't think it was even the same guy.
The main act was billed as a group. Of course, not a word was said by the team at the venue itself.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 13:46, archived)

I got caught out by that when I thought I was seeing the beta band.
I didn't notice the small lettering that it was actually just a DJ set.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 13:49, archived)

Makes you wonder why they think they can get away with it, really.
Do they honestly think we won't notice?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 13:55, archived)

Oh hi Mark
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qab3TMg42k
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 13:42, archived)

Monobrow thread.
eyebrow threading can really make a difference for those uggoes with a monobrow!
(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 23:40, archived)

Sian Williams will be appearing at Appledore Book Festival, which runs from September 22 until September 30.

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 0:15, archived)

How can they possibly know that?

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 4:36, archived)

sexy

(

$$ ✅, Sat 22 Jul 2017, 8:09, archived)

The trick is not to prick them.
So said a rock climbing Gary Rhodes on an advert thst seems to have completely dissapeared.
What do you remember vividly for no reason?

More importantly, what don't you remember?
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:37, archived)

stay classy bexley
www.newsflare.com/video/138285/other/bexley-village-httpstcotwvrtnmmku
(

mongychops, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:40, archived)

Top cunt right there.
Banterriffic
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:41, archived)

I have very few memories of before I was run over, which is a shame
Apparently my grandfather and I were very close, but I have no memory of him at all
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:41, archived)

What age were you?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:42, archived)

10
almost 11
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:42, archived)

Oh, so run over by a horse and cart if it was that long ago.
Nasty.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:48, archived)

You're probably too young to remember the Sinclair C5, aren't you?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:50, archived)

I know of it.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:57, archived)

You should buy one, restore it like you do with all those broken bikes.
They're super cool.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:00, archived)

I'd restore one just so I could run you over with it.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:02, archived)

You're the second person to threaten me with vehicular homicide.
Last person to do so wanted to weaponise a remote control chopper and then take me out whilst I was "on the job". I think he works for Boeing, now, so I'm eternally vigilant.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:08, archived)

If I was your wife I'd give you jacket potatoes for tea every night.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:50, archived)

you're a very rude young man

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:52, archived)

LOL GRANDAD

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:58, archived)

Well 'lots of love' to you too

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:59, archived)

Head injury?

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:48, archived)

yer

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:52, archived)

Bit sad.
If your granddad had a Top 40 hit with "I Wish", this explains everything.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:59, archived)

lol

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:03, archived)

nah m8 you've blocked those years out for a reason
keep looking forward
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:49, archived)

good point
thx hun x
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:52, archived)

stay strong xx

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:53, archived)

it's easy when I have you behind me xoxo

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:54, archived)

squarting

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$$ ✅, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:49, archived)

9/11
real shit
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:49, archived)

I died on 9/11.
Where's my loving tribute, huh?
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:51, archived)

what a fucking mentalist

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$$ ✅, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:53, archived)

haha excellent

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:58, archived)

Don't remember much of my childhood
Isn't from beatings, I just didn't pay much attention as a kid.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:56, archived)

i remember a time when i wan't being constantly fucking pestered by morons to run their lives for them
it was a tuesday, i believe.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:59, archived)

What you want to do is move away from wherever they are and get a decent job.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:02, archived)

what i want to do
is rule the world from the comfort of my secret volcano lair, torturing and killing every cunt who looks at me funny or wears crocs
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:10, archived)

Wakki

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:14, archived)

dunno, but(t)...
i.imgur.com/HCK4KYi.png
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manolith hooray for me, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 15:59, archived)

W.T.F

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:01, archived)

a door-mounted peanus
would you adam and eve it?
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manolith hooray for me, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:21, archived)

That's a very specific lorry.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:01, archived)

This really happened.
Don't internal doors usually open inwards?
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:06, archived)

Running Man
pbs.twimg.com/media/C_emNUKXUAAxGtG.jpg
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:22, archived)

Oh that's a great quality image and no mistake

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:24, archived)

no u

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:34, archived)

Take it to links

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:36, archived)

what if they're mean to me? :(

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:40, archived)

The trick is to prick them with your willy
lol
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$$ ✅, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:46, archived)

I'll prick YOU with my willy in a minute, m8 lol

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:53, archived)

lol

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$$ ✅, Fri 21 Jul 2017, 16:53, archived)

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