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Don't fucking panic you heap of shit!!!

From the Film Baddies in TV Sitcoms challenge. See all 299 entries (closed)

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Ninj, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:46, archived)

Get down and give me infinity! Woo

This is my sausage.

There are many like it, but this one is MINE.

My sausage is my best friend. It is my life.

I must master it as I must master my life.

My sausage without me is useless. Without my sausage, I am useless.

I must fire my sausage true.

I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me.

I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will...

My sausage and myself know that what counts in war is not the rounds we fire,

the noise of our bursts, nor the smoke we make.

We know it is the hits that count. We will hit...

My sausage is human, even as I, because it is my life.

Thus, I will learn it as a brother.

I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts, its accessories,
its sights, and its barrel.

I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage.

I will keep my sausage clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.

We will become part of each other. We will...

Before God I swear this creed.

My sausage and myself are the defenders of my country.

We are the masters of our enemy.

We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until there is no enemy, but PEACE.

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