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# He's happy enough he's rich at other people's expense
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:07, archived)
# He also spent hundreds of thousands of his own savings to advertise how he and all his follwers are better than us
and God's gonna prove it when the world ends and they're the only ones saved from it by Him yesterday.

*snort*
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:12, archived)
# No no no!
He spent all that money to try and persuade as many people as possible to repent before Judgement Day! He's a latter-day saint. Just not a Latter-Day Saint. That's quite a different thing and those people won't have been Raptured. They'll be BURNING IN HELLFIRE TONIGHT. Or on October 21st. I'm a bit fuzzy about the dates.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:13, archived)
# fuck that!
the world had better not end the day before my birthday, or god gets a kick right up the celestial bracket!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:17, archived)
# I read that Rapture was yesterday,
advertised with a wave of earthquakes hitting at 6pm local time*, and that all us sinners will be dead by October 21st. People who were Raptured will be spending the forthcoming six months hanging in the air and watching us all die painfully and gruesomely and, doubtless, eating celestial popcorn and feeling absurdly smug as they do so.

We'll have the last laugh though -- since clothes are sinful** everyone swept into the air will be butt-naked and at least we'll be able to point at them and laugh at their haemorrhoids and all the outy-belly buttons.






* which leads me to wonder what happens if you're right next to a time zone boundary. Let's say you live in Dover and a magnitude 9 quake strikes Calais at 6PM CET, which is 5PM BST. Was God planning on putting up a massive mystical barrier halfway across the Channel to stop the Earthquake being felt in Dover, and to stop the resultant tsunami from twatting it before the allotted time? Maybe it was the logistics of it that slowed Him down. After all, the situation only gets worse in countries like Russia with multiple time zones. Could people walk from a time zone as yet unaffected by the Rapture into a timezone filled with pain and anguish and massive earthquakes and then walk back again? Or would the massive mystical barrier block people from entering or leaving? It's no wonder He decided to call it off and wait till He had a more coherent plan.

** They must be; Adam and Eve only made clothes after they ate the apple and realised they were naked. Before that, when everything was pure and sin hadn't entered the world, they didn't wear any clothes.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:28, archived)
# it's all that paperwork
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:33, archived)
# Cynic
He made an honest mistake.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:12, archived)
# if god loves him so much
why did he give him a face like a scrotum?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:14, archived)
# Ostagazuzulum, that was the magic word
Ostagazuzulum, my oh my
He can do magic, magic, magic!
Magic a Rapture at 6 last night.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:22, archived)
# i liked it
not a lot
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:26, archived)
# I adjusted me Rapture-Fail Raving Party Kitteh a little bit this morning BTW
As I was a bit more sober:
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:31, archived)
# he loves those glow sticks
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:32, archived)
# He'll be walking sideways in a minute
;)
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:41, archived)
# heheheheh
he's had a crablet
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:43, archived)
# Hahaha!
Busting a move!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:44, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:46, archived)
# magic
www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3lp3fJ54n8
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:28, archived)
# GOD'S TASTE IS NOT YOUR TASTE
GOD'S TASTE IS INEFFABLE


I suspect the "F" in "ineffable" stands for "fuck".
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:29, archived)
# GOD LIKES SCROTUMS
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:32, archived)
# Well if you believe the bibble it was in his first blueprints for Adam
the design of Eve apparently was purely Adam's unless I've got that bit wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:34, archived)
# the FIRST blueprint involved gills and x-ray eyes
i'm pretty sure of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:37, archived)
# As well as Whales with friggin lasers, Kittens with Bazookas
and Dogs in Tanks but then he got banned from b3ta for reposting and trolling so reverted to more mundane designs.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:40, archived)
# pity
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:42, archived)
# Indeed
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:44, archived)
# spiders really should have been designed to wear rollerskates
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:47, archived)
# Adam must have really liked the smell of fish.
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:44, archived)
# No that was God being spiteful because he wanted Adam's scrotum to himself.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:49, archived)
# OIC...
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:52, archived)
# There's 2 Fs
Fist Fuck?
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:32, archived)
# only if you're a very good boy
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:34, archived)
# GOD'S TASTE IS IN FIST FUCK ABLE!!
Do ya know I always suspected so...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:46, archived)
# why do you think he created man first?
and "in his own image" too. narcissistic doesn't quite cover that one.....
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:52, archived)
# Nah, it's only one
The letter F is spelled "Eff". Look it up.

So "Ineffable" means "Can't be Effed".
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 22 May 2011, 21:44, archived)