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# i fucking hate pigeons
having someone put birdseed in your hair in trafalgar square as a joke will do that to you.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:40, archived)
#
Oh god... how old were you? Could traumatize you forever ...
(Dent, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:42, archived)
# i was 9
and blind, having patches on both eyes. moorfields hospital FTMFW
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:46, archived)
# and it was my dad
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:51, archived)
# Fuckity fuck
Moorfields FTW by the way.

But the Dad thing, I sense a theme.
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:53, archived)
# he's a cunt
but after meeting who he was brought up by, i no longer blame him for the way he turned out.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:53, archived)
# Your dad, meet my mum.
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:55, archived)
# pffff
there was a programme about moorfields a few years ago. they interviewed mr. collins, my surgeon. there was a picture of thunderbird 2 on the wall behind his desk that i drew when i was a child. i was ridiculously happy to see it :)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:59, archived)
# Aww, bless.
This makes one realise how they do actually care about what they do, and are not just golf-playing freemasonry.

(although my current surgeon charges £700 an hour just for a consultation, and I'm not kidding but work are paying).
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:04, archived)
# i know he remembered me
i had a condition that had never been seen before. the nerves in my face were twisted, so that when my mouth opened and closed, so did my left eye. he was the only person willing to give surgery a try. i'm eternally grateful that he did.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:07, archived)
# Like a tiny tears doll?
Lay you down and you go right to sleep? (thank heavens I manged to bring it back to b3ta-levels.)
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:12, archived)
# not quite
i can't close my eyes, but i can do a fantastic zombie impression :)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:13, archived)
# Can't close your eyes?
Don't eat potatoes?

Why, Ms Monkey, thee be a shark.
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:20, archived)
# i fucking LOVE sharks
i've even got a fossilised megalodon tooth
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:23, archived)
# I bet you were brilliant at
bellringing though.
(Apples if a bit too far)
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:15, archived)
# hahahahaha!
camponology has never been my strong suit ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:16, archived)
# Not what I heard.
Something about going like the clappers
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:19, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:20, archived)
# Agree with you ref the pigeon/pony stuff though.
I see some dads on yubin framed scaring the shit out of their kids. Never mind the 250 quid, lock 'em in a snake pit and see how they like it.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:25, archived)
# i'd do that
but i don't want to scare the snakes
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:27, archived)
# Well nice chattin,
off to bo boze now.
nn
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:29, archived)
# g'night
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:31, archived)
# how do you know it was the pigeons
It might have been tramps
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:53, archived)
# hahahaha!
that's a very good point!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:54, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:57, archived)
# Replace birdseed with pony nuts
And you can see why I don't like horses

(and no, the answer from the audience isn't "I FUCKING LOVE HORSES".)
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:44, archived)
# ooo, nasty!
my mate fed a horse and had to have 2 fingers sewn up
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:47, archived)
# I'd be upset too
if someone castrated a horse and put them in my hair.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:48, archived)
# I can still feel the dribbling leakage from the vesicles.
Stainage may have occurred.
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:54, archived)
# so...
Pigeons
Clowns
Dolls
Tomatoes
Celery
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:44, archived)
# i like celery
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:45, archived)
# cucumbers?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:48, archived)
# i like those, too
if you dip them in sugar, they taste like watermelon
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:49, archived)
# Best of all the vegetables?
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:56, archived)
# nah
potato is the best of all the vegetables, but that may just be because i can't eat them and i miss chips :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:01, archived)
# So you don't like Daddy or chips?
(Although, obviously you would like chips if you could)
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:29, archived)
# i love chips
i just can't eat them. daddy is fine now that we've come to understand one another
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:30, archived)
# I knows that :)
I was just making a silly joke
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:41, archived)
# :)
time i went to bed, i think.
g'night!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:50, archived)
# Sounds like a plan
G'noit
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 0:05, archived)
# sobriety
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:45, archived)
# hell, yes
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:46, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:47, archived)