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# Hah, although I've never seen the movie I think that works rather well
Slight threadjack. If a laptop does this before freezing and then refusing to even post, what's wrong with it:
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 23:33, archived)
# you've been trying to access too many
north korean sites :(
(I helped save b3ta! maggenspies mayhaps, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 23:34, archived)
# *looks up geography*
Well maybe they should have cut off their internet wires if they didn't want me looking at their kitchenware
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 23:50, archived)
# dance like they ain't watching you either :D
oddly i've had a few glitches today too... hmmms
(I helped save b3ta! maggenspies mayhaps, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 23:56, archived)
# AIDS
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 23:35, archived)
# Aw damnit, now that means I've got AIDS too
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 23:37, archived)
# and by showing us the picture, now we all have aids
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:16, archived)
# This is how they dance
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 23:39, archived)
# Well.. it was pretty
Damn laptops, lure you in with wonderful dances before forcing AIDS at you. AIDS.
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Thu 14 Jun 2012, 23:44, archived)
# Have you tried turning it off then on again
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:01, archived)
# That's the one where you look away for exactly 15 seconds before clapping twice?
I did that one, it hasn't helped :( also, yes
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:06, archived)
# Do you have a spare monitor you can plug in?
That way you can work out if it's the monitor or your compy that is borked.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:23, archived)
# Yeah, tried that
Fans spin up, no output from either screen, and it takes a hold down to turn it off again, even right after power on. Will spin up a disc if you put one in though. ctrl+alt+del doesn't seem to trigger a reboot.
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:27, archived)
# ctrl alt delete doesn't do reboots any more.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:32, archived)
# It does on most stuff in the pre-windows bit
The bios stage
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:34, archived)
# If it doesn't have bios your momma is broken.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:34, archived)
# Aye, it seems to be that way
It was going to have such a good life too
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:37, archived)
# Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson we should learn.
"Moral 17 - HP are shit."
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:39, archived)
# ^ This
Probably death by fluff. Overheated. You are looking at the video memory corruption funky dance.

Or just the HP Self destruct has been triggered. They press a button at head office when they want you to give them more money.

I have more broken HPs in my laptop heap than any other model.

/IT Engineer
(I helped save b3ta! Batter Pudding Hurler is a figment of your imagination, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:21, archived)
# Haha
Actually, the worst computer I've owned was a Compaq (HP). I don't think it had heard of 'stable' and it sure did overheat.
And it came with Win me, I mean how bad can you get.

edit: all my interesting screwdriver bits are elsewhere I'll give it a check for fluff tomorrow and hope it hasn't done damage
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:25, archived)
# HpHaHa
Overheating in a stable can lead to burning the barn down. Not a good plan.

As to WinMe - no computer could survive that without mental scars. The fairest upgrade for a WinME HP would have been an axe. At an early age.

Try placing an axe in front of your webcam on the funky machine and explain to the mic what will happen if it doesn't start to behave.
(I helped save b3ta! Batter Pudding Hurler is a figment of your imagination, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:36, archived)
# Or did I miss the more obvious one?
Compaq (HP) is the Compaq (Heat Pack) model. This could be your problem.
(I helped save b3ta! Batter Pudding Hurler is a figment of your imagination, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:40, archived)
# Pfft, and yes I think I'll introduce it to an axe or two, scare it into place
I'm just glad my desktops are collections of parts, with big cases, airflow and occasional dusting
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:45, archived)
# With careful appliaction of the axe...
your laptop could also become a collection of parts with good airflow.

Maybe create something to win a Turner prize?
(I helped save b3ta! Batter Pudding Hurler is a figment of your imagination, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:50, archived)
# Oh I don't think careful
instils just how accurate you have to be to manage that.
Anyway, the hard drive is still good, as I suspect is the inverter, both of which have future uses
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:55, archived)
# I'd reckon that crossbeam's gon't skew on tredle
edit: you have a dodgy joint somewhere

Sounds like someone'll have to hot air a reball job

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:16, archived)
# I can't make sense of this
So, um.. I'll have 4 from the top and 2 from the bottom
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:30, archived)
# Your graphics driver is parsing too many blits per sub-form, resulting in a mesi-quantum feedback grid through your anterior messenger chip.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:34, archived)
# This looks like it makes relevant sense
I henceforth rename you Mubelfish, for translation purposes
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:40, archived)
# Its lucky I was here as I have just finished my Microsoft exams...
And I can tell you that it is broken and the problem definitley originates from somewhere inside it!
(I helped save b3ta! paranoiaman, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:37, archived)
# Hahaha
You're so right, thank god you came. Hang on, I'll get a saw
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:42, archived)
# get one of those saws with eyes
a seesaw
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:45, archived)
# Or one with poor eyesight...
a mitre saw !
(I helped save b3ta! paranoiaman, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:49, archived)
# Ewww, cum saw.
(Mu2, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:45, archived)
# Hah, thanks for the edit
Although it's pretty old now so worthwhileness is questionable
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:05, archived)
# on the bright side, if it's an apple laptop it breaks faster
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:06, archived)
# your graphics card is fucked
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:57, archived)
# more of a graphics chip
which I don't much fancy trying to replace, especially since it's only Intel
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:00, archived)
# is it overheating?
processing chips tend to go funny when they're overheating
(I helped save b3ta! Haku Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips., Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:21, archived)
# Well I let it cool down
And it hasn't helped
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:24, archived)
# and it shouldn't have been that hot
it was on a desk, hadn't been on long and hadn't been doing anything particularly strenuous.
edit: but yeah I'll crack it open and check it for fluff tomorrow
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 1:28, archived)