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# ill dust off the old blunderbuss.
Where are my nails?
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 18:24, archived)
# that should do the trick.
As an alternative, I'm thinking of erecting (fnarr) a humorous-yet-mildly-passive-aggressive sign where said flowers once stood.

Suggestions for text?
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 18:26, archived)
# Keep your cunting dog under control
you antisocial motherfucker
(I helped save b3ta! Raving Homasecsyouall the hours are good but the work sucks, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 18:29, archived)
# that could work
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 18:35, archived)
# So, in summary of all the suggestions
"Dear antisocial person who let their dog trash my tulips,

You may be interested to know that tulips are quite toxic to dogs. Think about this while your dog vomits and empties its bowels all over your lounge floor. I very much hope that you have an expensive and absorbent carpet to soak up the fluids.

In the meantime, here is a drawing of some replacement flowers.

Regards,

Your local gardener
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs ๐Ÿฆ‡ ↓ dn สŽษส sแด‰ษฅส‡ ↓๐Ÿฆ‡, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 1:22, archived)
# Bury yourself where the tulips were
but leave your cock sticking out of the soil, with a plastic tulip on the tip.
When the dog comes by and eats it, jump up and shout "gotcha!"
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 19:27, archived)
# ...or use peanut butter to adhere the tulip petals. Then just lay back and enjoy
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 19:36, archived)
# An excellent plan... with one small drawback.
1. I don't have a cock :(
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 19:56, archived)
# oh, so you've tried this already, with disatrous results
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 19:58, archived)
# Yeah, but it did keep the dog fed for a day.
He didn't try eating anything else in my garden on that occasion, I tell ye!
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 20:01, archived)
# did he bury his bone?



*chortles*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 21:01, archived)
# 'giggles'
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Sat 27 Apr 2013, 21:16, archived)
# *foams*
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 21:47, archived)
# 'quacks'
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Sat 27 Apr 2013, 21:54, archived)
# I don't think you're trying hard enough.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha โ”( ห˜_ห˜)โ”Œ ส…(ฬโ—กโ—)สƒ, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 21:17, archived)
# your dog ate my tulips,
Prepare to die
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 19:27, archived)
# ^this one.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 19:30, archived)
# how appropriate, he chews like a cow
wait, I don't think I've got that quite right...
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 20:02, archived)
# I live next to a policeman
I hope you and your dog are ready to be buggered senseless in human/diggy prison
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 19:42, archived)
# ima massive dick
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 20:08, archived)
#
dick cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Sat 27 Apr 2013, 20:10, archived)