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[challenge entry] All of them are winners

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From the Tory Leadership Race challenge. See all 64 entries (closed)

(Flumper, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 14:33, archived)
# What I don't quite understand is who they are actually talking to.
I mean the country doesn't vote. It's only the Cuntservative party. So I assume that this is all just an elaborate scheme for them to talk to themselves.
(Octo I ruin everything., Mon 18 Jul 2022, 14:35, archived)
# Please don't vote labour in 3 years time
we'll draw a line under that fucking car crash, pls ignore that we happily kept him in office for all that time
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 14:47, archived)
# I’m still confused about why it’s completely unacceptable to employ a known groper, for the same people who voted to employ a proven serial liar to the highest office.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 16:53, archived)
# Seems like they've decided to draw their arbitrary ethics line at sexual assault by an employee
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 17:02, archived)
# Well that basically is it in a nutshell
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 18:34, archived)
# it was less about that one groper
and more about the fact they had a list of all the gropers, and their gropees, and were using it to blackmail the gropers into supporting the liar-in-chief no matter how much he fucked up
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 23:22, archived)
# Ditto
That's similar to what I said about this leadership contest. MPs want Mordaunt or Sunak, Tory members want Tugendhat, the rest of the UK want none of the above.
(Flumper, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 14:54, archived)
#
e
o u
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 15:04, archived)
# Tory members want Mordaunt because
1. Not Asian
2. Not Jewish-sounding
3. Not black
4. IQ high enough not to require regular watering
(rogerzilla, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 15:41, archived)
#
4. :D
(Flumper, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 15:47, archived)
# So Boris then?
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 18:43, archived)
# I wouldn't rule him out
...if he rules out the rules.
(Flumper, Tue 19 Jul 2022, 8:54, archived)
# Just do a battle royale to avoid the resultant infighting
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 15:47, archived)
# Now this makes sense.
(Octo I ruin everything., Mon 18 Jul 2022, 15:59, archived)
[challenge entry] From the May/Leadsom contest :
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 16:32, archived)
# the deadly handbag
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 20:16, archived)
# A Haaaaaandbag?!?
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 19 Jul 2022, 2:06, archived)
# Ladbrokes has entered the chat
(Flumper, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 16:53, archived)
# the podiums look like stainless steel urinals
new game show, Who's Taking the Piss?
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 16:44, archived)
# Same answer each week: all of them
(Flumper, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 16:55, archived)
# That's the basis of Trickle-Down Economics
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 16:56, archived)
# I'm borrowing this
(Flumper, Tue 19 Jul 2022, 8:51, archived)
# The loser each episode has to drink all the combined urine
just before getting forcibly ejected from the replace big dog house

Please do not say furlough fraud or bugger
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 17:30, archived)
# Heheh
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 18 Jul 2022, 20:56, archived)