Dear B3tans, I beg your adviceMy housemate is driving me mad. I spent all weekend cleaning up the kitchen and tonight I come home and her and her boyfriends' dinner plates are all over the worktop even though the damn dishwasher is empty and pining to be filled. Her boyfriend's always here but doesn't pay a penny towards living costs. And the other three of us hate him and don't want him in our house one day out of seven let alone five. She leaves her bike in the lounge when we have a perfectly serviceable garage, she smokes and leaves her butts on the table for the rest of us to clean up, despite being a 'non-smoker' when she first moved in. Frankly, she's a pain in the arse to live with.
Here is the advice I beg: We want to keep the house (contract comes up in August) but get rid of her. Rather than just say outright 'We fucking hate you, never darken our door again,' how do we construct an ITV-sitcom style scenario which forces her to leave?
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:44,
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Here is the advice I beg: We want to keep the house (contract comes up in August) but get rid of her. Rather than just say outright 'We fucking hate you, never darken our door again,' how do we construct an ITV-sitcom style scenario which forces her to leave?
Excellent ideaCan anyone lend me a dollar? I'm skint from supporting her sponging arrogant tosser of a boyfriend.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:47,
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If the contract is due to expire,fake an official letter, saying you all have to find somewhere else to live, keep up this fascade (ooh big word!) until she (and her boyf) finds somewhere else to live (you can even make her believe you are all moving out, packed and ready) when she's out, and comfortable in her new surroundings, tell her there was a clerical error, and you are all moving back in.
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pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier.,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:00,
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I thinkif we can get agreement we're just going to ask her to leave. I don't want to live here if she is.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:04,
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kill her?just an idea.
( seani is selling his new mobile on ebay, check profile,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:47,
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And don't think I haven't considered itBut we have to let the room to someone else afterwards.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:48,
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ah i see...might get a bit messy.
( seani is selling his new mobile on ebay, check profile,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:49,
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Although...it does act as a warning to the next bastard to come along.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:51,
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change the locks, paint the doorpump her full of lsd, spin her round n round in circles outside and all run away giggling.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:50,
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YES!That's a winner.
A lesson for life: B3ta is the fount of all good advice.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:50,
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A lesson for life: B3ta is the fount of all good advice.
Tell herthat she's been nominated for eviction from the house...
everybody's doing it.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:51,
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everybody's doing it.
*strokes chin*Glass bars outside her door and a barbecue in the garden. Sounds tempting but all that would happen is that the garden would end up a shit-tip.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:53,
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honesltyunknown, Ive been in the same boat, but with a welsh girl so it was an even more dangerous propostion, basically there is no easy way, the only way is to straight out tell her you dont like her being in the house anymore - and the rest of your flatmates included - this solidarity will be the most shaming thing, and although she'll never speak to you again, thats pretty much what you want anyway.
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Alfie,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:56,
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I'm hoping it won't come to thatBut I know she got chucked out of her last place for more or less the same reasons. You'd think she'd learn. I'll have to get the others together and start conspiring.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:57,
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are you allnon-smoking, is it a non-smoking house? 'cos then you could get all "you're smoking, out!" with her.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:52,
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Well the contract forbids resident smokersSo we could get her on that, but we don't want to seem nasty, we want her to choose to move out.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:53,
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Just have the landlordcome round at a choice time when she's the only one smokin'.
Or just fill her bed with cement when she's asleep in it.
(Or just fill her bed with cement when she's asleep in it.
witchy is covered in BEES,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:59,
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Got it...Tell her that her boyfriend is hitting on one of your other flatmates, and that, er, she's coming on to him too because she's aroused by all the cigarette smoke and dirty plates.
That should fix the boyf, cigs and dishes problems all in one fell swoop.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:59,
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That should fix the boyf, cigs and dishes problems all in one fell swoop.
Problems:1. The rest of us are all boys
2. We're all straight. Well I have my suspicions about one of them but he's so good at blowjobs I would never confront him.
3. Doesn't tie the bike in.
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Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:03,
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2. We're all straight. Well I have my suspicions about one of them but he's so good at blowjobs I would never confront him.
3. Doesn't tie the bike in.
Next time she leaves a dirtyplate in the kitchen pick it up and smash it over her head. Fag butts up the nose.
Seriously, the only way you're gonna get her out is by ganging up on her. Who cares if she never speaks to you again, or chucks paint on the front door on her way out? She's the one being the pain in the arse, not you lot, so don't let her intimidate you all.
(Seriously, the only way you're gonna get her out is by ganging up on her. Who cares if she never speaks to you again, or chucks paint on the front door on her way out? She's the one being the pain in the arse, not you lot, so don't let her intimidate you all.
witchy is covered in BEES,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:09,
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demandthat the boyfriend pays rent, and double the amount because there are two of them.
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rogan,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:29,
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