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# On the Dermatological Advantages of Infanticide and Cannibalism
Mike has got such lovely skin,
No eczma, flakes or scabies,
He attributes his silky hide,
To eating all his babies.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 13 Feb 2002, 6:57, archived)
# bastard!
is it right that i am offended by this?
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:01, archived)
# Hi Mike
It wasn't about you- different Mike. That one with the nice skin. You know the one. Eats babies. That one.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:04, archived)
# god damn
You dissing my skin?
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:07, archived)
# Well
its your fault for replacing it with cling film.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:16, archived)
# fair point.
i won't do that again.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:21, archived)
# This downturn is taking its toll
"I was so poor I had to sell my valuable hide"
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:22, archived)
# ...
...and now i can't look at birds"

what a crap joke.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:27, archived)
# Bill Oddie's
tragic downfall.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:30, archived)
# eating innocent little kids?
You filthy evil rotter.
Can't you just stick to pork instead,
And munch on roasted trotter?
(Nacho, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:05, archived)
# pork is fine as white meat goes,
but I prefer sea food.
although I think in present company,
crab cakes might be a bit rude.
(james, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:12, archived)
# Well, don't ask me -
I'm only Nacho.
I don't eat meat
But I love gazpacho
(Nacho, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:15, archived)
# When you get your gazpacho,
Please do not be bold.
Do not try to raise your hand,
gazpachos supposed to be cold.

(edited to make it scan better :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:17, archived)
# soup is fine in it's right place
but I prefer mine hot.
instead I've gone for camomile tea
and a nice big bar of choc
(james, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:23, archived)
# Thought I'd share this....
I had me legs shaved thr other week,
Ive lost me spiders, so to speak,
but now I am itching like a freak!

it's true...
(I helped save b3ta! Sam, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:05, archived)
# .
I shave my armpits every day,
my legs as well if I have time,
cos hairy women look well gay,
but it does leave my bath tub covered in grime.
(Nacho, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:13, archived)
# Well
Armpit waxing
Would have been too taxing
So I have shaved my pits
a little bit
(I helped save b3ta! Sam, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:58, archived)
# My mate dave tried eating puppies
he thought it might work, maybe.
But alas his sores still weep with puss
and now he's also got rabies.
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:08, archived)
# Well my friend Abigail believed
That using kitten fritters
Would ease the suffering she felt when perched upon the shitter
But she used them as suppositries (?) it gave her woeful pain
And even now, some ten years on,
she's walking like John Wayn.e
(aneraseroflove excuse me...i have to go to space now, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:16, archived)
# woo woo woo woo woo woo woo,
woo woo woo woo woo times two
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:18, archived)
# There was a bloke called crab bloke
Who really loved his crabs
If their poor pincers ever broke
He'd replace them with kebabs.

Poor little crabby
His little face all full of woe
He really was not happy
The kebabs would have to go

The moral of this tale you see
Is to use pliers instead of a snack
Then poor little crabby
Can still grab things that go quack.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 13 Feb 2002, 7:29, archived)