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#
I had sex with Santa on CHRISTMAS eve
His cock was so big, we used vasaline
I can tell you right now, the rumours are true
As well as a white beard, his pubes are too
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:29, archived)
# Has nobody told you
that santa is your dad in a costume?
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:31, archived)
# So THAT'S how he knew my name?
He said it was magic!...

Well it was for me anyway!
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:36, archived)
# dark.
:S
(I helped save b3ta! biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:42, archived)
# I fucking hate christmas
especially in fucking november
(vork and burlap, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:31, archived)
# me too.

particularly when santa empties his sack under my christmas tree.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:33, archived)
# you
miserable bastard.
do you really?
(I helped save b3ta! biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:34, archived)
# afraid so.
it makes me feel like shit.
everybody is getting happy, and i feel like i should be happy, but i'm just feeling the same as always, and then that just makes me feel even worse, and then everyone says i should be happy because it's christmas, and i feel worse still for not being happy, and it just gets worse and worse until christmas is over.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:36, archived)
# well in that case
i wish you the happiest new year ever man.
dont you like eating all the piiiiiie and stuff?
(I helped save b3ta! biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:40, archived)
# I get seasonal affected disorder
Christmas is great for me honest.

Fact.
(I helped save b3ta! Alfie, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:40, archived)
# i have depression,
and the doctor sprinkled that disorder on top last year.
I'm seriously thinking of excaping to somewhere for christmas, but i don't know where.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:44, archived)
# christmas is depressing when you have to hear that horrid
christmas music in every department store for months before it's actually christmas.
and i'm jewish. that might have something to do with it.
(I helped save b3ta! TheFelineAnarchist, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:48, archived)
# it's shit that christmas isn't it.
why can't it just be a religious celebration instead of a marketing move.
the cranberry.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:53, archived)
# Don't you get pissed off with the Stones for singing
Jumping Jack Flash / It's a gas, gas, gas

?
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:55, archived)
# heck, i don't know what the songs are.
i just know that they all sound the same, to me. and that they grate my mind like cheese.

and yeah, the whole marketing-instead-of-religion thing pisses me off. i mean, what're the biggest jewish holidays, rosh hashana, yom kippur, and passover? you don't see car dealerships painting the windows for those.
(I helped save b3ta! TheFelineAnarchist, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:57, archived)
# Hmm.
Never mind, it was just a cheap holocaust gag. Oh well.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:59, archived)
# oh. ok. i laugh.
sorry, i just finished a load of work and a rant seemed like a good idea at the time.

*whistles and walks jauntily away*
(I helped save b3ta! TheFelineAnarchist, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 2:03, archived)
# Just tell them to
fuck off. Cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:43, archived)
# then i
just get hit...
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:45, archived)
# did he empty his sack?
etc...
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:32, archived)
# As I said to Mr Goblin
"He emptied his sack, shot his load up my back...side, splitting my arse cheeks open wide..."

It's a work in progress:p

Needs a bit of work, but this time next year it'll be a Christmas Classic!
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:34, archived)
# it needs work
but yeah, I can foresee a christmas no 1 for you soon...
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:36, archived)
# talking of seasonal songs...
I don't know if you recall this...

Schnellenbaummerfest


we posted it a while back - the aimm is to get some daft sod from radio 1, etc, to think it's for real... :D
(Chad, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 2:08, archived)
# Apparently
KY is preferrable to Vaseline.
Dr Kitteny Berk told me so.
(I helped save b3ta! Nikfuf Eetr Northern Midlander, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:34, archived)
# KY doesn't Ryhme with Eve
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Thu 20 Nov 2003, 1:39, archived)