b3ta.com user Zak McFlimby
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Profile for Zak McFlimby:
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Lanky doofus from Geordieland, UK.

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Recent front page messages:

Time to find out if the lady is a tramp

(Wed 15th Jun 2011, 16:04, More)

hehe go Jezza!
He could front the campaign:

(Thu 24th Jun 2010, 11:34, More)

We're not that different really

(Tue 15th Jun 2010, 14:41, More)


(Thu 15th Apr 2010, 11:47, More)

An end-of-day silly. :)

EDIT: My apologies to non-geeks.
(Wed 3rd Mar 2010, 16:50, More)

Oh do hurry up Phillip... we'll be late for the party.

Good 'ning all. Friiiiiiiiday! :)
(Fri 28th Aug 2009, 10:05, More)

(Tue 25th Aug 2009, 15:06, More)

It's not always wartime, sometimes they get to go on their...

(Thu 30th Jul 2009, 12:23, More)


(Thu 9th Jul 2009, 9:39, More)

If you think Twitter is shite now
you should have seen it before the Internet

(Thu 7th May 2009, 10:01, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Horrible things I've done to a loved one

It wasn't pre-meditated,
but I was once rifling through the top-draw of junk looking for some money or something, when I came across a box. Without thinking (that's me!) I took out the box, turned to my girlfriend who was sat on the bed and went down on one knee.

"Yes??" *glee hands*
*opens box*
"Have you seen my cuff links? They're ace aren't they?"

I won't fully describe what happened next, but much tears and flouncing was involved (and that was just me).

They were ace cuff links though.
(Thu 16th Jun 2011, 13:48, More)

» When I met the parents

1st time I met my girlfriend's parents
there was a barrage of intense questioning within seconds of arriving

"Have you slept with Julie yet?"
"Do you treat her with respect in the bedroom?"
"Are you ever selfish in bed with her?"
"Have you ever had anal sex with Julie?"

Once they had answered my questions, I agreed to go in and have dinner with them.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 14:38, More)

» Flirting

There's some daft person near me who's flirting with a tree!
On my commute to work, I drive past a tree that somebody keeps buying cards and flowers for!

I dunno what he/she sees in it - it's not even a particularly nice tree (it has a big scorched chunk taken out of one side of it!)
(Thu 18th Feb 2010, 13:57, More)

» Dad Jokes

whenever I annoy him
he dances about, pointing at me and singing "I shagged your mum, I shagged your mum".
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 13:14, More)

» Accidental animal cruelty

I used to have a very stupid dog.
To see if he was completely dense, we tried training him to do a few tricks (sit, roll-over, beg, give a paw etc.) with limited success.

One morning, he was dozing in his favourite spot on the landing at the top of the stairs.
As I passed him, I said "Hello boy! Roll over!" - expecting him to look blankly at me as normal, but on this occasion he performed with instant obedience and rolled-over.
All the way off the edge of the stairs.
And kept on (involuntarily) rolling-over down every stair until he landed at the bottom and learnt a new trick - play dead.

Fortunately, he was ok but I felt really guilty.

He wouldn't do tricks after that. (and I don't blame him).
(Thu 6th Dec 2007, 11:50, More)
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