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# Please don't shoot me
I have an old, obsolete and virused-to-the-serial-port PC.

I have a back garden, with a patio and a few walls in it.

I have an assortment of garden and household tools.

I have a video camera.

Tomorrow will be a nice sunny day and I'm planning some purely childish violence towards a worthless piece of technology that I wouldn't even give to a charity shop. The point of this possible TW is that I need ideas... what would you think would be the most camera-genic and hopefully deeply funny way of 'killing' the PC (whose name is Phoebe) once and for all?

The results will of course but posted up somewhere for your amusement....
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:36, archived)
# Go all A-Team on it
and build a nuclear tank out of it.
(I helped save b3ta! StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:38, archived)
# i second
soup it up HARD
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:38, archived)
# You are still here?
*Gropes and runs off*
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:44, archived)
# i come and go
it upsets the ladies, but hey

don't run off
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:45, archived)
# Ha ha ha
Very funny.
you Wont get away with that kind of thing with me.
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:47, archived)
# sorry dearie
i'll try and hold it all in ;)
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:48, archived)
# As you should
I'm not going to all that effort for nothing.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:49, archived)
# now that you've groped me, do i have to send you a jelly pic?
not sure of the protocol
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:51, archived)
# Eww
that could be nasty.
*banishes mental image of summat and jelly*
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:53, archived)
# ha ha ha ha
not THAT kind of pic


*puts clothes back on*
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:54, archived)
# :(
And I was enjoying the veiw.
ah well
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:56, archived)
# ahhh i see
it's ok as long as i don't get the jelly out
what about marmite?

*smears*
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:58, archived)
# *Slaps Summat*
Never ever ever ever.
Yuck.
You can sleep with mostly tonight
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:00, archived)
# but he smells
and he wets the bed.
and not with wee wee either
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:01, archived)
# Fine
Go wash that filth off and I'll make room for you in here
*moves over*
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:02, archived)
# k
*gets in shower*
*has horrid 'psycho was on tv the other day' flashback*
*runs to bed*
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:04, archived)
# Argh
your soggy
get out and dry yourself NOW!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:05, archived)
# do you know how long fur takes to dry?
*blow drys*
i'm gonna look like a pompom now
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:07, archived)
# Fur?
Noone mentioned fur?
*gets out waxing kit*
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:08, archived)
# eeeeeeep!
i'd end up like
this poor fella
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:10, archived)
# Oh no
Not an all over wax just your back if it needs it.
(I helped save b3ta! Giant bunny jumping out like a large happy tourettes rabbit, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:11, archived)
# uuuurrgggh
hairy back
*retches*
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:12, archived)
# A nuclear tank? Running P166 MMX?
errmmm....

I had thought of stringing the monitor (14"!) up by the un-detachable cable and playing conkers with it against a shovel,... would it explode?
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:40, archived)
# Hollow out the monitor
and make a bird table out of it.
(I helped save b3ta! StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:41, archived)
# find out!
use the keyboard as the other conker
(I helped save b3ta! summat to do with kittens, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:41, archived)
# I once
Flattened an aluminium softball bat on a monitor. The old ones harder to break because of the thick curved glass. I hit it full pelt, about four times. It only shattered when I poked it with the bat-end.
/boring anecdote
(I helped save b3ta! Stickman_ben, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:44, archived)
# baseball bats are dangerous
once smacked myself in the jaw with a wooden one - I was trying to break a car window with it and it bounced back harder than i swung it

(also boring anecdote. although funny when you consider that it was my car that i'd locked the keys in and thus couldn't get into the house to get the spare keys...)
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:47, archived)
# Glass has such personality swings.
One minute it'll take heavy impact, the next it goes to pieces.
/boring semi-joke
(I helped save b3ta! Stickman_ben, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:49, archived)
# Yeah, mind yourself with monitors ...
They are a vacuum tube so will implode when they go. Yes, it's not as bad as an explosion, but it's get shards of glass everywhere.
(I helped save b3ta! Hagbard ... it's been a long time., Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:47, archived)
# Burn it!
or get two cars to tow it in half.
Or sledghammer it.
(I helped save b3ta! Stickman_ben, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:38, archived)
# Right
Make sure your house has a decent circuit breaker. Turn off at wall. Switch little switch on back from 240v to 110v. Switch wall switch back on. Wait for explosion. If no explosion, press power button. Retreat.

Or even more fun, remove cover, remove cpu fan wire, short +5 and 0v pins using a jumper from the hard drive. Power up. Watch as tracks on motherboard IGNITE.
(ProudClod, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:40, archived)
#
or just put a bomb in it
(Psyax, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:41, archived)
# .
=D
(ProudClod, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:42, archived)
# Jeez
That's my first mod edit :)

Hello Jesus!
(ProudClod, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:45, archived)
# I like these ideas...
(I helped save b3ta! Stickman_ben, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:41, archived)
# OOOohhhhhhh
hehehehehehe....

might give that a go... on an extension lead into the middle of the lawn :)
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:42, archived)
# Do any button pushage with
a big wooden stick, to avoid unhealthy death. And once it's blown up, unplug it from the wall before you go hug it :D
(ProudClod, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:44, archived)
# Fill it with expanding foam ...
and when it's all set, saw it up into bits (like that Van Huyens guy who does the plasticated autopsy stuff).
(I helped save b3ta! Hagbard ... it's been a long time., Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:41, archived)
# coat it in cheese
and beef
and throw it on a fire
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:41, archived)
# if you have an upstairs window that you could throw it out of
perhaps onto a hard surface, or a vat of pudding.
(I helped save b3ta! Or is it?, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:42, archived)
# blow it up...
properly.

Get a powdered chemical called potassium chlorate. labpack chemicals sells it on the internet. mix it with icing sugar in a pot with a lid, such as an empty butter tub. You want a ratio of about 4 to one part sugar.
shake it a bit gentally to mix the powders.
go to your local model shop and buy some model rocket engine ignitors. attach a very long wire from the terminals and put the ignitor in the powder with some bluetac or tape. then seal the butter tub again, and place it in side the computer case. for proper effect, make sure the case has all major holes covered.
Then stand way way way back on the end of the wire behind a shelter, and connect a powerful batter to the end of the wires, such as a R/C car nicad pack or small lead acid battery.
Watch computer explode! horray!

(note: dont actually do this unless you want to die)
(I helped save b3ta! ProfHawking Lalalalala BANG!! Run! dammit, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:44, archived)
# Are you a muslim terrorist...
...perchance?
(Chief Inspector Singh of the Yard, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:48, archived)
# My God
a whole glut of 'em. Old Trafford watch out.
(Chief Inspector Singh of the Yard, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:49, archived)
# no
dont you call me that inspectator,
its a slur against my nazi origins
(I helped save b3ta! ProfHawking Lalalalala BANG!! Run! dammit, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:51, archived)
# Please accept my most sincerest apologies.
And pass my regards on to my uncle Phil in Burnley. ('Phil's Pie and Fertilizer Emporium, on the High Street.)
(Chief Inspector Singh of the Yard, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:59, archived)
# Thermit the bastard
thermit it hard!
(Xybex, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:44, archived)
# Now *there's* an idea.
So what's that then:
Iron fillings, aluminium fillings ... magnesium powder/ribbon?
(I helped save b3ta! Hagbard ... it's been a long time., Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:46, archived)
# Yep
I can't remember the proportions or tell you where to find some though.
(Xybex, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:48, archived)
# The internet will know ...
It *always* knows (although it's often wrong).
(I helped save b3ta! Hagbard ... it's been a long time., Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:50, archived)
# nah
Fe2O3 + Al = Al2O3 + Fe (molten due to exothemic (negative) enthalpy change)
(ProudClod, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:51, archived)
# Nice
Correct valencies too. I'm impressed.

*starts scraping rust off Mum's exhaust and chopping up kitchen foil*
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:01, archived)
# If I was a teacher
Marks would be lost for not balancing it.
(Xybex, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:05, archived)
# ok, ok
Fe2O3(s) + 2Al(s) = Al2O3(s) + 2Fe(l)


nuuhh
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:15, archived)
# Shit, what was i thinking
Shit, that's embarrasing. I'm a friggen chemist (thus the enthalpy comment), yet I can't balance an equation!

Cheers for the state symbols.
(ProudClod, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:33, archived)
# Yes!
Isnt it iron (iii) oxide powder, aluminium powder, mix into a small pile and stick a bit of magnesium in the top. Place pile on computer. Ignite magnesium. Run.
(ProudClod, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:47, archived)
# You would want it in some kind of crucible
A thick clay flower pot with a hole in the bottom would be an idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Hagbard ... it's been a long time., Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:49, archived)
# Nah
Cuz it'd melt thru the pc into the ground.

If you want to do it alone, i find a coke can with the top chopped off, half filled with sand is good.
(ProudClod, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:53, archived)
# Oh yeah, that's what I want to see ...
The hole all the way through the casing and mother board etc... Just do it on some soft soil that you don't mind having to dig a lump of iron out of :)

Like corrosive alien blood!

Oh yeah, in case it's not obvious ... don't be near this when it goes off (at least not unless you're wearing something that will cope with droplets of molten iron being splashed onto it).
(I helped save b3ta! Hagbard ... it's been a long time., Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:00, archived)
# i'm disturbed by the pyromania round here
(but i'm grinning like a goon).

Magnesium.... ahh, the joys.

Once, at school, a group of us what had done Maths a year early (hey, wasn't my idea!) had a free period (well, we were supposed to be doing Statistics, but come on...) immediately after a Science lesson involving Mg ribbon. What I didn't know is that one of us had snaffled a six-inch strip of it. Which they ignited in the corner of the room we were in for the 'free'.... ouch, my eyes!! And the clouds of smoke that were still very much in evidence when the supervising teacher wandered in ten mins later....
/collapses in giggles
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:52, archived)
# If you like magnesium
You'll love what it does in the thermite reaction.

It's truly fantastic.
(ProudClod, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:54, archived)
# You saw those firework clips from this week's news letter.
Steal that idea, steal it hard.
(R-T-C Got arbitrage profits?, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:49, archived)
# Not guilty!!
due to 28.8kbps pisteak from virgin net...
(I helped save b3ta! Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:56, archived)
# How to break a PC
Get some tossers in PC world to try and fix it for you.

Alternatively, and this is entertaining, plug the motherboard direct into 240v mains. Its very cool.
(Rikaitch is full of crap ideas., Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:51, archived)
# That's
almost impossible to do, and highly dangerous.

The wrong internal voltage (5v or 12v) is quite enough to ignite tracks anyway.
(ProudClod, Sat 24 Apr 2004, 23:55, archived)
# Actually,
plugging into the mains does work. When I was at college, for high-jinx, we connected a small circuit board straight to the mains, and watched it vapourise into smoke and dust. Imagine the joy and fulfillment to be had with a full PC.
(Chief Inspector Singh of the Yard, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:01, archived)
# But
You'd have to solder up a wall cord to the atx connector (or more likely at connector on this oldie)
(ProudClod, Sun 25 Apr 2004, 0:34, archived)