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[challenge entry] Couldn't resist

From the The Worst Christmas Ever challenge. See all 95 entries (closed)

(dwilliams, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:12, archived)
# Plesent.
Plesent mofoko.
(Orkran Mild Euphoria Ensues, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:13, archived)
# fucking cafepress
impossible to see the image

Nonetheless, begin whoring
(thisismyclone, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:35, archived)
# hang him by his
gob stopper




SEE post BELOW

he's supposed to give presents
not receive them.
Although I hear if they do hang him, he wants to be cremated and his ashes put in an etch-a-sketch, so kiddies can enjoy him forever
(baw__bag, Fri 9 Dec, 3:15, Ignore, Reply)
(KMnO 4, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:14, archived)
# he's supposed to give presents
not receive them.
Although I hear if they do hang him, he wants to be cremated and his ashes put in an etch-a-sketch, so kiddies can enjoy him forever
(I helped save b3ta! baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:15, archived)
# tsk tsk :o)
edit: woo! 500 posts
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:19, archived)
# the rest of the glitter jokes in full... (cribbed from searching for glitt in the sickjokes QOTW)
Gary Glitter is to star in the next series of Doctor Who
He is to have two female companions K-9 and Sharon - 12

Whats 3 feet high and sits at the end of kids beds?
Gary Glitters boots.

Gary Glitter goes upto Michael Jackson and asks "Can you change a ten for 2 fives?"

Do they celebrate Christmas in Vietnam?
Well, they're hanging up Glitter this year.

What do Micheal Jackson and Gary Glitter have after dinner?
Under Eights

Michael Jackson and Gary Glitter were standing outside a playground a gang of twelver year olds walk past
Gary turns to Michael and says "I remember them when they were lookers"
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:21, archived)
# *prints
*roffles
(I helped save b3ta! baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:22, archived)
# you can probably make some of your own by searching for michael jackson joke
and cunningly editing "michael jackson" into "gary glitter"
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:23, archived)
# I'd be fending off
job offers from the sun if I did that
(I helped save b3ta! baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:26, archived)
# I've just tried my theory - and it kinda works
What's worse than Gary Glitter babysitting your kids?
Ian Huntley giving them a bath.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Gary Glitter ?
Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, Gary Glitter fucks children.

The Police have raided Gary Glitter's house. They found class A drugs in the lounge, class b drugs in the kitchenand Class 5c in his bedroom!

What's the difference between Gary Glitter and Acne?
Acne waits till you're a teenager to come on your face

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:27, archived)
# NowI'm struggling to keep the
whats pink and smells of Holly joke in
Edit: though, having re-read it, it's basically out there now isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:30, archived)
# I want to answer that with "John Majors Cock"
hmm. I hadn't noticed that joke as a re-writable one before.

OK.. We need

A: What's [colour reference to person A] and smells of [persons B's name with double meaning]?

Q: [Person A fullname] cock.

(Assuming that peoples A+B have had a or are suggested to have had a sexual relationship of an unpleasant nature.)

Right. Who can fill in the blanks?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:36, archived)
# time for dead baby jokes yet?
you all know they're funny :P
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:30, archived)
# not my cup of tea really
hohum
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:33, archived)
# Whats the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of marbles?
You cant unload a truckfull of marbles with a pitchfork.
(Orkran Mild Euphoria Ensues, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:33, archived)
# how do you get dead babies out of a blender?
Doritos
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:40, archived)
# The last one is actually slightly funny
Which is more than i can say for most glitter jokes.
(Orkran Mild Euphoria Ensues, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:32, archived)
# I'm a bit keen on
the 1st 2 myself
(I helped save b3ta! baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:33, archived)
# opps
moved it up so it makes sense
(KMnO 4, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:50, archived)
# Heeehe
but I feel rotten for laughing.
(I helped save b3ta! Fictional Emma, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:54, archived)
# that is some serious lurkage!
Hurrah!
(I helped save b3ta! bennyhillslovechild, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 4:23, archived)
# Tis
working nights drive people to strange, strange things.
(I helped save b3ta! Fictional Emma, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 4:27, archived)
# what is lurkage?
(KMnO 4, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 4:51, archived)
# why are so many celebs "Bette Midlers?"
Who'll get arrested for it next?
(Randy Rustenburg - Gay Cunt, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:21, archived)
# i don't get it?
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:24, archived)
# Bette Middler
Cock-er-nee rhyming slang: kiddie fiddler ;-)

I'm not sure if such a phrase exists, I sort of made it up. As well as "Matt le Tiss" = Piss
(Randy Rustenburg - Gay Cunt, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:25, archived)
# ahaah!
I see ze intent, sah!
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:26, archived)
# Like "Michael Knight"
= Wanker?
(I helped save b3ta! baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:26, archived)
# Eartha Kitt
Shit
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:27, archived)
# The former chairman
Of Carlisle United? That nutter?

Andi Peters = Catheters

"My dad's in a critical condition, but they cheered him up by putting him on hospital Andi Peters!"
(Randy Rustenburg - Gay Cunt, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:27, archived)
# or "Tex Ritters"
Skitters
(I helped save b3ta! baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:29, archived)
# I've got a massive Osama Bin Laden
in my pants
(Randy Rustenburg - Gay Cunt, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:32, archived)
# show off
(I helped save b3ta! baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:33, archived)
# shooting thick sexy white piss
From the Hamid Karzai =D
(Randy Rustenburg - Gay Cunt, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:36, archived)
# He's always in disguise
(Jeebus is my pigwhore Sweet jeebus, sweet jeebus licks shemale cock, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:26, archived)
# disneyworld
must be a paedos dream
(Randy Rustenburg - Gay Cunt, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:26, archived)
# Pfffffft
I love that!
(I helped save b3ta! baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:27, archived)
# that am marvellous :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dazz - In Your Base, Killing Your Dudes since, Fri 9 Dec 2005, 3:31, archived)