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# Pearost, but the annoying fucker's been on the box AGAIN tonight
(ormondroyd, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:26, archived)
# Hahahaha!
I love the subtle instance of "Jimmy fucking Carr"
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:27, archived)
# he's
carrcenogenic.

not the sort of joke I should be cracking at the moment!
(I helped save b3ta! JD if you please? Save The Apostrophes, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:28, archived)
# Hahahaha
right you, get in that fucking cupboard! You aren't coming out til you learn your lesson.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:29, archived)
# Is that
my Mother's fucking cupboard?
(I helped save b3ta! JD if you please? Save The Apostrophes, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:31, archived)
# It's probably time I was honest
I am your mother. I'm here keeping an eye on you.
*keeps eye on you*
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:34, archived)
# MOTHER!
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:35, archived)
# Son!
Oh no wait...JD is...oh fuck. I should have left my legs closed. Fuck!
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:37, archived)
# too late now
soz n all that
(I helped save b3ta! JD if you please? Save The Apostrophes, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:38, archived)
# ooooooooooooo
interesting!
(I helped save b3ta! JD if you please? Save The Apostrophes, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:35, archived)
# And I am your boss.
GET BACK TO WORK.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 7:38, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:33, archived)
# nail
on head
(I helped save b3ta! JD if you please? Save The Apostrophes, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:34, archived)
# Hahaha!
I demand that tobacconists use that label!
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:34, archived)
# *smokes fag*
visits mother
(I helped save b3ta! JD if you please? Save The Apostrophes, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:37, archived)
# Hahaha
I want to own a tobacconists now just so I can print my own labels to stick over the top.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:39, archived)
# that's a w00 pic btw
tis too
(I helped save b3ta! JD if you please? Save The Apostrophes, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:38, archived)
# I did that in real life.
I was on a dull course for work about 12 years ago and a Geordie fellow I worked with walked into the terminally dull canteen area and said "Roy Castle has died of lung cancer".

I shouted "Yeeeeeees! That tap dancing fucker!" and made a fist as the rest of the people looked, as if hypnotised, at their processed meals.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:39, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHAHA!
you didn't end up sacked did you?
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:41, archived)
# No.
It was a different age.

*dons buttoned jacket*
*attempts to get knees up Mother Brown*
*is arrested for knee-rape*

(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:48, archived)
# *knee rape*
best invention evar!
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:49, archived)
# As I said to the arresting officer
"If it can fit a knee, it's not rape"
That was taken down and used against me as evidence.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:52, archived)
# Knee rape!
Hahahahaha! I'm stealing that. I hope you don't mind :D
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:52, archived)
# Who is
Jimmy Carr?

/Just got back from Mars.
(I helped save b3ta! Black Moon Not cracked, I'm all up to be., Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:28, archived)
# A cunt.
On a sidenote, I've discovered that watching the Evil Dead whilst very fucked makes it become your favouritest film ever.
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:34, archived)
# Evil dead is class
even when sober :D
/Army of darkness is the best though
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:37, archived)
# No!
Evil Dead 2! I love the bit where he laughs maniacally with his furnishings.
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:46, archived)
# Yeah
but Evil Dead 2 is basically the original over again. I loved the idea of having Bruce come from the future and help the silly medieval lot...and the chemistry books in the boot almost made me wet myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:56, archived)
# It does have some cracking one liners.
"Hey, she-bitch!"
"Gimme some sugar baby"

I'm determined to pull using that one.
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 2:08, archived)
# Ha ha
cillit bang, cillit bang, cillit cillit cillit bang
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:29, archived)
# Look what it did to this penny! Look what it did to this penny!
Good as new! Good as new! G-g-g-g-g-good as new!
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:37, archived)
# ;)
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:42, archived)
# Hahaha!
*sprays cillit bang at the police*
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:45, archived)
# More!
More I say!
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:48, archived)
# Legendary
Love it!
(sundaeg1rl Lady Two-Jugs, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 2:16, archived)
# hahahahaha
*breathe*

hahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 15:53, archived)
# I find him quite amusing
when he's not presenting another '100 Best Something or Other' countdown.
(Text_Fish -- Humourcide., Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:30, archived)
# I find him quite amusing
when he's being devoured by a shark
(ormondroyd, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:31, archived)
# Yes
I should imagine he would spout some amusingly dry comment even during the worst of ordeals.

The thing I most respect about him is that he embodies everything that the archetypal 'online cynic' [every forum has at least one] tries so hard to achieve. Luckily for him, he doesn't have to resort to succeeding every one of his comments with ':)'. This pleases me.
(Text_Fish -- Humourcide., Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:35, archived)
# I agree
he is actually funny but in moderation. He's like a more recent Jack Dee, although I thought Dee was funnier.
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:32, archived)
# Clever de-branding.
Jimmy Carr is a hand-diamonding chin-jutting cunt.

Hmm?

*twats imaginary Carr with shovel*
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:33, archived)
# Hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Sat 18 Mar 2006, 1:40, archived)