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# Bastard Cat!
Sitting here, in me pants, as you do, and the fucker tries to jump on my lap...fucks it up and lacerates my bloody thighs. Little shit just made it out the catflap as I was scrabbling for the carving knife :¬(

(I helped save b3ta! wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Sat 28 Oct 2006, 1:38, archived)
# 4/10
not enough MonkeyBeer
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sat 28 Oct 2006, 1:40, archived)
# What you need is a gun
then you can drop the fucker before it hits the door.
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 28 Oct 2006, 1:41, archived)
# Aah it's Tenant's Lager!
For a minute there I thought it was Jaffa Cakes.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 28 Oct 2006, 1:45, archived)
# Judith?
You again? You bitch!

Speak properly afore I beat you!

Oh a beard now? Don't think I'm fooled, you tart! I smack your body part with my twinkle. Yes! Yes, yes!!

Cabbage.
(cow-appreciation-society, Sat 28 Oct 2006, 1:45, archived)
# Judas was George Best?
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Sat 28 Oct 2006, 1:45, archived)
# my cat tried to assassinate me yesterday
I have a huge knee bruise and a torn ligament in my shoulder because you decided to practise your leg-weaving skills on me, even though I had already fucking fed you.

It was you Jones. I saw you. If you are reading this you are a fucking evil moggy and you will pay. It's not like I was even pissed.
(I helped save b3ta! finnbar has officially retired, Sat 28 Oct 2006, 1:49, archived)