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Not that anyone asked,

But when I was a lad, I managed to get sand under my foreskin, and it hurt like fuck to get back out again.

(Slurpy The Frog, Fri 10 Aug 2007, 1:26, archived)

I got a sea louse under mine once.

Little fucker bit me, too.

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Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 10 Aug 2007, 1:27, archived)

heaomaphrodite?

Mine got infected & swelled shut when I was a wee lad.
That sucked.
Now I make sure I wash it long and hard in the shower every day:)

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Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Fri 10 Aug 2007, 1:28, archived)

The moral of the story is,

NEVER take yer kids to the beach.
I also once got sand caked on one of my eyes, stung my a special fish in fucking Cornwall,
and nearly drowned by jumping out of a rubber dinghy while unexpectedly out of my depth.

I fear not the sea, but have a serious phobia of sand.

(Slurpy The Frog, Fri 10 Aug 2007, 1:30, archived)

On a slightly related note,

I once woke up from a sexy dream to find a cockroach on my nob.

Worst. Wakeup. Ever.

(Anthroapology __________________________________________________, Fri 10 Aug 2007, 1:41, archived)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

I had a weird little dream this morning.
I arrived late for something or other and everybody was like wow, what's wrong with your leg?
I looked down and my left knee was heinously infected and swollen to the size of a large grapefruit, with clear pus starting to bubble out of it.
I squeezed all this hard yellow pus out of it, along with these white fatty lumps.
Several people around me started to vomit.
Then I woke up.

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Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 10 Aug 2007, 2:04, archived)

According to the on-line dream dictionaries, this has something to do with repressed feelings.

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Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 10 Aug 2007, 3:13, archived)