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# we should all send our resumes to b3ta dot com.
they're hiring a computer in eton and all you need to know how to do is post pictures of shit. it pays lots of euros and you get access to naked pics of all b3ta members.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:23, archived)
# Yeah, I saw that.
Apparently it's b3ta-friendly. So I'm guessing it's ok to include a crudely drawn spunking magenta cock on all the work you produce for them. I've updated my portfolio to reflect this.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:27, archived)
# i'm going to send a resume full of screaming and ridiculous claims.
HI GIVE ME THE FUCKING JOB, I BUILT THE EIFFEL TOWER AND SHIT OUT OF CSS AND ONE TIME I KICKED A GUY WHO DIDN'T HIRE ME TO DEATH.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:30, archived)
# I DID A TRIPLE BYPASS WITH JAVASCRIPT
IT WAS TOO EASY SO I RESTRICTED MYSELF TO VOWELS ONLY TO MAKE IT HARDER
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:32, archived)
# I HAVE TEN CASTLES AND I'LL SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:39, archived)
# OH NO THEY BE TRYIN' STEAL MAH GUN COLLECTION
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 6:08, archived)
# I STOLE THE MOAT LAST NIGHT, LOL!
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 6:10, archived)
# DID YOU TAKE THE FEESH TOO?
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 6:21, archived)
# You get to run around the office telling people off for the slightest "errors".
OMG YOU PRINTED IN COLOUR WHEN YOU DIDN'T NEED TO, YOUR DESK IS THREE INCHES TOO WIDE.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:34, archived)
# When someone's talking and they can't think of the correct word for a second
you get to shout REDEX! REDEX! up in their face.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:37, archived)
# And when the boss likes something that someone says
he writes it on the front door.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:39, archived)
# And everyone else moans about it for the rest of the day.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:40, archived)
# Also, you can give the boss money so you can have a small picture on your desk next to your nameplate.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:42, archived)
# but if you're bad they make you sit on the naughty step out back in the alley with the shitrags.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:41, archived)
# Johnny Homeless here
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:42, archived)
# homeless people use vista.
they moved on up from web tv.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:45, archived)
# Whoa
I'd forgotten all about webtv. Making websites around that time was a fucking nightmare. Nothing was compatible with anything else and every implementation was completely different.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:49, archived)
# web tv ought to be the next challenge after the crap song one.
HEY DAYSHIFT! NIGHTSHIFT IS COMING TO FUCK YOU UP!
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 5:52, archived)
# YER DARN TOOTIN', PILGRIM
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 16 Apr 2008, 7:33, archived)