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# EW EW EW
I chew my pen. I also stir my coffee with it.

I've just been chewing my pen thinking 'mmm, tastes a bit like coffee'.

However, I've just realised the last cup of coffee I stirred with it was last Friday.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:07, archived)
# bleargh!
there's a lesson to be learned there Cappy...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 6 May 2008, 14:08, archived)
# you're probably alright
as a precaution though, it is my professional opinion that you need to take the rest of the day off and spend it in the sunsine having fun and ice lollies.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:08, archived)
# Without clothes, I imagine?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:10, archived)
# I thought we were al naked
already...

I'm getting some very interested looks from across teh office.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:11, archived)
# I've already got two letters of resignation from the rest of the office.
the others aren't in today.

Nekkid office rules!
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 6 May 2008, 14:13, archived)
# I'm very tempted to start working naked
or perhaps in a red posing-pouch. I like this idea.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:18, archived)
# I WISH
I'm not just doing my job today, otherwise I would.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:10, archived)
#
just
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:11, archived)
# Bollocks to you.
I've done loads today. Also cried once (bloody IT) and been a very angry captain at my team.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:12, archived)
# stop crying soldier
be a man.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:14, archived)
# But then I'll have a willy.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:15, archived)
# If you had a willy
I'd suck it.

Edit: as long as you still had the boobs, you understand.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:17, archived)
# Damn straight you would.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:18, archived)
# If, however, you had a hammer...
I'd run.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 6 May 2008, 14:18, archived)
# there are many reasons to run away from the Capt
it's a trade off between the risks and benefits.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:21, archived)
# I think Capt. + Hammers = run away.
It's all dependant on the implement...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 6 May 2008, 14:22, archived)
# HEY HEY HEY
I'm a lovely person. And anyway, it's not the hammer you want to be worried about- it's the cutlass.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:23, archived)
# As I said, it's dependant on the implement...
Hammer / Cutlass = run away

Scissors = telling off

Bass = get guitar out

no implement = open arms and big smile

I'd make a sliding scale, but I'm meant to be w*rking...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 6 May 2008, 14:25, archived)
# you underestimate the dangerosity of unarmed Capt.
that is dangerous in itself.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:40, archived)
# I like the danger...
=D
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 6 May 2008, 15:01, archived)
# I used to have those fruit flavored colour pens
they were awesome. They don't do stuff like that for kids anymore
(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Tue 6 May 2008, 14:10, archived)
# They took those away in 84, I think.
Smelly rubbers went in 84, I'm sure of it. I had a book about the year, you see.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:11, archived)
# 84 must have been a really boring year...
Or your book must be fucking huge for the demise of smelly rubbers to feature
(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:12, archived)
# It wasn't the most exciting of years
obviously my parents wouldn't say that. They got married and had me all within the last half.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:13, archived)
# much better of 1983, I tell you. The most notable fact of 1983 is that
Donna Griffiths of Pershore stops sneezing after a continual series of sneezes for 978 days
(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Tue 6 May 2008, 14:21, archived)
# she must have been
fucking grateful.
Or did she die? Is that why she stopped?
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:25, archived)
# yummy yummy smelly rubbers
I cannot recall a single fatality.
(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Tue 6 May 2008, 14:15, archived)
# I think encouraging children to consume ink
is one of the better things to have fallen by the wayside.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:12, archived)