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# I ATE A BIG RED CANDLE.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:10, archived)
# I KILLED SOMEONE WITH A TRIDENT.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:12, archived)
# I formally extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:14, archived)
# Aak,
Mind piss right there.

I'll give you the points though, cos yours is obviously from memory, and I stole mine from Wikiquote 'cos i'm too drunk to remember it properly myself.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:17, archived)
# BRICK, ARE YOU TRYING TO INVITE ME TO THE PARTY IN YOUR PANTS?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:18, archived)
# I immediately regret this decision...
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:20, archived)
# It's so hot.
Milk was a bad choice.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:22, archived)
# YES.
One of my absolute favourites of the film.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:24, archived)
# Sex Panther
60% of the time...it works everytime....
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:25, archived)
# How does that even work!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:26, archived)
# FUCK
piss.


I was trying to remember the percentage.

Well, at least I got it right.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:28, archived)
# Sixty percent of the time it works every time.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:27, archived)
# I love......carpet.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:18, archived)
# I love desk.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:19, archived)
# I love lamp.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:20, archived)
# I BROKE MY ANUS
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:16, archived)
# ............I don't remember that one.
Are you just sharing in a moment of panic?


Are you bleeding?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:19, archived)
# Not as far as I know.
Although it hurts like fuck.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:20, archived)
# What on Earth were you doing?
Check, for goodness sake. Anal skin tears surprisingly easily, and you don't want to get anal cysts.

(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:21, archived)
# LAWL.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:22, archived)
# Noooooo no no laughing.
Fucking hell, I'm the kind of person that puts their glasses on the end of their nose and has a gander.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:23, archived)
# Digesting food.
Stupid undurable anus.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:22, archived)
# Oh. Well then you should be alright.
Burny or just uncommonly big?

Go and find some unperfumed moisturiser and put it in the fridge.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:24, archived)
# AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:24, archived)
# You're such a supportive git, you really are.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:29, archived)
# Thanks for noticing :)
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:31, archived)
# You wear it well.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:36, archived)
# Neither.
I have not passed.

Just quite severe bouts of pain quite far in, possibly as high as the colon.

Deja vu eh?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:26, archived)
# I know this is futile
but PLEASE go to the bloody doctor.

Laxatives?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:29, archived)
# I'll just fix it in the same way I did last time if needs be.
Although it's beyond me as to why it's reappeared. As I said, it could actually be my filling scratching up the lining of my colon instead.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:32, archived)
# Which is why you should be....oh, fuck it.
You'll do as you bloody well please no matter what I say, of course you will.

(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:34, archived)
# Well it depends if you offer sound advice, if you say go to the doctor then I won't.
I went to the doctors for a similar thing years ago, I was given a fibre drink which did shit all (unintentional).
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:37, archived)
# Well you see I AM doing.
Ask to see a different doctor, explain what happened last time and ask about the possibility of an exploratory endoscopy. Or something.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:39, archived)
# Pass.
A lifetime of ignorance over ones mortality is worth a month of discomfort.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:40, archived)
# You're hardly going to beat the Nazis with that attitude.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:42, archived)
# Most soldiers in the first and second world war had either chronic constipation or chronic diarrhoea
Or dysentery sometimes.

I would be at an unfair advantage if I wasn't on a flat shitting ground with the Nazis.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:46, archived)
# Of course.
Right, bed time.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:48, archived)
# PILES?
:O
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:24, archived)
# Thanks for joining this conversation at such a touching moment.
Nay, I don't believe it to be as I had this a month ago and it has suddenly reappeared again.

To be honest it might be because I swallowed a filling last week....*shudder*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:29, archived)
# Piles/haemorrhoids can do that.
Trust me, I know O_O

Sneaky little motherfuckers.


Just eat really well & have lots of fibre and you'll be fine =]


PS it was two years ago, my arse is fine now.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:32, archived)
# D:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:35, archived)
# That's good to know that your arse is fine, in case I'd need to use it...for...something.
*cough*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:36, archived)
# You know, there's actually a small chance you have rectal gonorrhea :)
Website says "Symptoms of rectal infection include discharge, anal itching, and sometimes painful bowel movements."


SO NO PUTTING THINGS IN MY BUM :|
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:42, archived)
# That is a thinly veiled excuse, I have no dischange or anal itching.
Plus a condom would eliminate all worries, NOW BEND OVER!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:44, archived)
# Aaaahhhhhhhhhh
^this was not a moan of pleasure.



*has tears of fear*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:46, archived)
# *kisses neck gently*
There's a good girl, you're so brave.
*has tears for fears*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:47, archived)
# UHHH
*dials 999*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:50, archived)
# But I only wanted to be loved!
By inserting things in a girl's anus. I ask you members of the jury, is that a crime?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:53, archived)
# BUMSEX IS NOT LOVE
EDIT: IS MY BEDTIME, BYE.

PS don't follow me
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:59, archived)
# So then my dad didn't love me?
*cries*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 1:03, archived)
# I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT

(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:12, archived)
# *looks at banana*
*snorts*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:14, archived)
# AHAH! YES!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:15, archived)
# It's the best Brick moment, for my money.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:19, archived)
# Hey, Brick, where'd you get that grenade?
I don't know.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:15, archived)
# I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 0:15, archived)