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# I take it
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE

you didn't see the Fear in the bottom one? Fear is much better than the O Rly owl.*

* Not true, but I'm being argumentative. The O Rly owl is one of the greatest things ever. REWRITTEN IN ENGLISH INSTEAD OF MATHS BECAUSE THE B3TA FILTER HATES GREATER THAN SIGNS. FUCK YOU B3TA.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:13, archived)
# EDIT: SSUSHH
hello!
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:14, archived)
# Hello!
To quickly threadjack, you may have noticed my trip to Brighton was cancelled :( My friend I was going to be staying with pissed off to America on the second day of the Great Escape, and Halifax decided to screw my colon hard by slashing my overdraft. So it seemed a good idea to delay it.

I should be around at some point over summer. I SHALL LET YOU KNOW. OH YES.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:20, archived)
# Hello, other Boris.
Still up to your neck in equations?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 23 May 2008, 23:21, archived)
# I'm always up to my neck in equations
Today has all been about Statistical Mechanics tutorials and trying to show people how to be lazy and not bother remembering the thermodynamic potentials or the Maxwell relations and how easy it is to derive them all.

I got a very strange look from the lovely blonde girl in my group. I don't think she believes me.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:28, archived)
# Ahhh.
I've been messing about with S = 1/2 polynomials for antiferromagnets. Jammy sod of a project student managed to get six new crystal structures in an eight week project. He's already got one paper out of it and now he's going to get a pretty good one, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 23 May 2008, 23:31, archived)
# What a bastard
I've been in academia for years and I only have two papers. About five in the pipeline but there's still only two.

Kick him in the knackers for me, would you?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:37, archived)
# *hides own publication record*
Wilco. One kick in storage for Monday.

Get into chemistry - papers aren't too difficult depending on where you go. F'rinstance, Acta Crystallographica Sect. E is only two shades up from bog roll.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 23 May 2008, 23:39, archived)
# Nah
I'll stick in theoretical physics. My career will die soon but at least I'll have done something *interesting* while it lasts.... :)
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:43, archived)
# THEN WE CAN CYBER FOR REAL! LOLS!
;)

but in the summer, you must speak german to me so i can melt into a pool of orgasmness.

german is sexy.
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:22, archived)
# Not Swiss German, though.
Sounds like a Spaniard who's learnt German, but never lost the accent along with having contracted TB.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 23 May 2008, 23:24, archived)
# hahahahahahahahaha
the only part of switzerland i've tried to speak german in is basel and that was fucked up. it was like being in sweden or something. i couldn't understand a single word. my german's wank but it's better than basel made me feel. silly swiss.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:31, archived)
# I know...
It's worse in Bern as they speak at 1/8 th the speed of any other human population, yet the accent it so thick that you still don't understand.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 23 May 2008, 23:33, archived)
# I've been to Bern
I didn't speak to anyone but my friend that I was with. This seemed a very good move and we seemed to survive fine on this. We *must* have talked to someone but I'm buggered if I can remember that we did.

Pretty town though.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:38, archived)
# 's ok.
the whole 'grey-green' thing gets to you after a while, though.
And the f£^$%&ing church bells....
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 23 May 2008, 23:41, archived)
# Possibly
but I was there for a day and it was a gorgeous day. Not sure I'd hurry back, I think we did most of what there is to do...
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:44, archived)
# DAMN STRAIGHT
I shall speak German. Oder ich werde Deutsche sprechen. Juli oder fruehe August fahrt mich nach Brighton, glaube ich, dich viel Orgasmus zu geben.

My German may be shit. The other Boris may be able to correct me. Or the other German speakers on the board.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:30, archived)
# as long as it sounds vaguely german, thats sexy enough for me
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:34, archived)
# Good stuff
I can do German-sounding-but-grammatically-incorrect until it boils from my bum, which might suit you very well actually.

Doch bis Sommer!
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:39, archived)
# haha excellent.
i've so got to learn geman, i'm just lazy. but my god i love it. sexier than french.
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:41, archived)
# You reckon?
You should visit me here... I'm sure we can find time to speak German...
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:47, archived)
# you know if i had the cash and a passport i so would.
i wanna go to the black forest and star mountain!
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:48, archived)
# I live in Baden-Wuerttemberg.....
Even if I can never remember how to spell it.....
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:53, archived)
# as long as it's in germany...it's all good to me.
i want to hug a german person!
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:54, archived)
# hmmm
i may be able to arrange that but, alas, i'm british :(
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sat 24 May 2008, 0:02, archived)
# i'd still hug you
(I helped save b3ta! KittyVomit more super than a can of Tennants, Sat 24 May 2008, 0:05, archived)
# As they don't speak proper German here
and half my group is Chinese, I've not really bothered to learn much German...

I can speak a smattering of 'Co-op-deutsch', so I can get by at train stations and supermarkets, but conversation is a bit limited...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 23 May 2008, 23:36, archived)
# You can survive here fine
with English, which is a pity because I'm too lazy to learn a language unless I'm forced to. I've started trying to bully friends into at least emailing in German by insisting on writing to them in German. That they tend to reply in English doesn't tell me that they think I suck at German. Oh no.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:42, archived)
# I did give it a go.
but everyone wants to practice their English on the only native speaker in the department.
sometimes I feel more like a bloody secretary - I usually get five-ten documents to check a week for SPAG, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 23 May 2008, 23:47, archived)
# I don't get that as much as I thought
I think everyone (wrongly) believes that their English is perfect. Plus there's three native English speakers in my department here.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 23 May 2008, 23:54, archived)