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# hahaha!
when i was in uni a friend of mine was shocked to learn i'd never been to a church service before (my parents were agnostic, i grew up an atheist). so, he took me to his rancid little pile of blocks and i watched the whole hilarious scene play out. he was catholic, so at the end (or near it, whatever) of the show the chief nun-herd started handing out crackers and juice. i wanted to go get some, but my friend panicked and physically restrained me so i couldn't - apparently unbaptised people like me can infect the jesus remains if we bite into it.

(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:43, archived)
# Go to
www.scienceblogs.com/pharygula
and search for fracking cracker.

It may take a couple of weeks to get through but it's worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:47, archived)
# it's great so far. thanks!
"...a cheap excuse to make accusations illustrated by cheesy woodcuts of hook-nosed jews hammering nails into communion wafers and lurid tales of blood-spurting crackers..."

too bad that's too long for a sig.

"no harm come to a cracker" works, though.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:53, archived)
# Unbaptized : aka 'You haven't paid for your dead god parts yet'.
They just are very coy about the ticket and what it costs.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:49, archived)
# Heh..
..It costs your soul
(I helped save b3ta! Evil_Ted is collecting wooden giblets, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:53, archived)
# Yes, but first they'd like your time, money and children.
THEN they want that too.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 3:03, archived)
# i just want your money and children.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 5:55, archived)
# We just need someone who wants souls and we'll have a full service pantheon.
Need a trendy name for the cult too. May I suggest "buttsexodonkians"?
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 6:25, archived)
# that works.
and we're all waiting for the second coming of jacob dyer.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 7:51, archived)
# that's usually my reply to people who slag scirentologists.
at least those con artists are partially open about the whole thing being a $cam.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:55, archived)
# Well I think that's debatable that they are open about it being a crock,
It's just easier to prove given some drunk twat just made it up in recent history.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:57, archived)
# no, i meant that it was open knowledge that it costs money to participate.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:58, archived)
# Ask them what happens to African AIDS babies.
This is especially horrid if they are catholics.
What of limbo, bitch? Purgamotherfuckintory?
What about cunts what live in tha jungle or forests and shit.

Braaaaap.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:55, archived)
# I think C of E churches are more easy going though, I'm fairly sure my mother took me to do the non transubstatiation communion once despite not being spirit wetted.
You can also pretty much abuse modern local vicars these days too, because they are unfeasibly dull and accommodating.

"What's that you want to film a monologue of your defaming the concept of religion in the vestry? Oh well as long as you don't disturb the other parisheners."
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 3:04, archived)
# Ladies without annulments in addition to their divorces like my mother are unworthy too
the filthy whores.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:55, archived)
# Sell her.
That fixes the whole thing and works by both rules new and old.

I think you can even bang her once the sale is done, if you wanted.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 3:05, archived)
# Nice.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 4:02, archived)
# if you remind people that marriage laws are just extensions of property agreements...
...they'll get annoyed and nail you to a stick too.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 4:05, archived)