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# ideal for midget libyans


(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 0:58, archived)
# Likes
(SomeLousyBum Why where you bought it?!, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:00, archived)
# Ah licky boom boom down
'Tective man he say, say Daddy Me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky boom-boom down

braaaaap!
Night all.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:59, archived)
# HELLO SNOW
Also:

www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24260911-5001021,00.html
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:07, archived)
# That is so fucking sad.
So is that article's author, my fuck what total lying twaddle.
Not a fucking honest word in the whole fucking thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:12, archived)
# To be a proper liar you have to learn to lie for Jesus.
The shame manifested itself physically, resulting in him losing his hair and purging his body into his socks while shouting "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Into your hands I give myself. Left a bit! Oh yeah!"
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:18, archived)
#
"He was terrified, I still remember the look on his face . . . it was...very hard...for him, as it was for me"

"I could just see a really broken, unwell man. At that point I found it really quite hard...in that instance it was really hard...However, she maintained...vomiting...and apparent pain. I feel a little bit foolish...but I...beat myself...In the...back,'' she said."
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:27, archived)
# Also
Alterboys, teenbrides, pets, household products or any thing else that can be warmed in a microwave.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:28, archived)
# also, to bring up my own cancer experience (yet again)...
...i have extremely strong doubts that anyone who is married and has close friends could manage to fake diagnosis and treatment without those close to him puzzling things out rather quickly. it's a huge part of therapy to bring in partners and friends to help with treatment, rides to and from hospital and clinic, and to speak with doctors and nurses about pill regimens and the like.

there's almost zero chance that he faked this on his own.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:31, archived)
# That's a confusing;y written article, right there.
"To conceal the two-year cancer lie which he hid from his wife and family, he sent phoney emails to his loved ones from non-existent medical practitioners."

Surely he's concealing the porn addiction, not the 'cancer lie'. I think the author meant "To maintain the two-year..."

Oh well, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:26, archived)
# Jizzing for jesus
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:28, archived)
# oh no! addicted to porn!
how awful - but the knowledge he gained in kicking that habit ought to help him give up his addiction to nonsense superstitions like 'god'.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:27, archived)
# Bit like being...
'addicted' to sex :)
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:33, archived)
# addicted to attention from tabloids and people who fawn over celebrities.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:35, archived)
# Anything can be substituted for X
in the algebra of need.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 4:00, archived)
# and to wash the jesus out of your brain, have some alice donut:
lisa's father.

PLAY LOUD!
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:34, archived)
# That song is what rock music was invented for
and also sexual abuse
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 4:36, archived)
# yes.
and maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 5:26, archived)
# God can save you from all your addictions. All you have to do is..do you know what? I'm tired of discussing this subject.
I'll type this story out for lolz and enlightenment.

My ageing father was a Eucharistic Minister for the Catholic Church, taking Communion to the sick and or mental kiddies (and old fuckers).

I questioned his belief in the transubstantiation or Bread-to-Jesus miracle. He was convinced that it happened so I asked him if a mugger accosted him on his way to deliver the Christ into a dying mans face, would he defend the Actual-JesusTM in his pocket.

No, he said. I'm sure the priest wouldn't think it was worth my life to defend it, so I'd just hand it over.

"BUT HE FUCKING DIED FOR YOU!" I shouted.

I think he won though as he told me to fuck off to bed and stop drinking so much.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:35, archived)
# hahaha!
when i was in uni a friend of mine was shocked to learn i'd never been to a church service before (my parents were agnostic, i grew up an atheist). so, he took me to his rancid little pile of blocks and i watched the whole hilarious scene play out. he was catholic, so at the end (or near it, whatever) of the show the chief nun-herd started handing out crackers and juice. i wanted to go get some, but my friend panicked and physically restrained me so i couldn't - apparently unbaptised people like me can infect the jesus remains if we bite into it.

(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:43, archived)
# Go to
www.scienceblogs.com/pharygula
and search for fracking cracker.

It may take a couple of weeks to get through but it's worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:47, archived)
# it's great so far. thanks!
"...a cheap excuse to make accusations illustrated by cheesy woodcuts of hook-nosed jews hammering nails into communion wafers and lurid tales of blood-spurting crackers..."

too bad that's too long for a sig.

"no harm come to a cracker" works, though.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:53, archived)
# Unbaptized : aka 'You haven't paid for your dead god parts yet'.
They just are very coy about the ticket and what it costs.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:49, archived)
# Heh..
..It costs your soul
(I helped save b3ta! Evil_Ted is collecting wooden giblets, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:53, archived)
# Yes, but first they'd like your time, money and children.
THEN they want that too.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 3:03, archived)
# i just want your money and children.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 5:55, archived)
# We just need someone who wants souls and we'll have a full service pantheon.
Need a trendy name for the cult too. May I suggest "buttsexodonkians"?
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 6:25, archived)
# that works.
and we're all waiting for the second coming of jacob dyer.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 7:51, archived)
# that's usually my reply to people who slag scirentologists.
at least those con artists are partially open about the whole thing being a $cam.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:55, archived)
# Well I think that's debatable that they are open about it being a crock,
It's just easier to prove given some drunk twat just made it up in recent history.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:57, archived)
# no, i meant that it was open knowledge that it costs money to participate.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:58, archived)
# Ask them what happens to African AIDS babies.
This is especially horrid if they are catholics.
What of limbo, bitch? Purgamotherfuckintory?
What about cunts what live in tha jungle or forests and shit.

Braaaaap.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:55, archived)
# I think C of E churches are more easy going though, I'm fairly sure my mother took me to do the non transubstatiation communion once despite not being spirit wetted.
You can also pretty much abuse modern local vicars these days too, because they are unfeasibly dull and accommodating.

"What's that you want to film a monologue of your defaming the concept of religion in the vestry? Oh well as long as you don't disturb the other parisheners."
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 3:04, archived)
# Ladies without annulments in addition to their divorces like my mother are unworthy too
the filthy whores.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:55, archived)
# Sell her.
That fixes the whole thing and works by both rules new and old.

I think you can even bang her once the sale is done, if you wanted.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 3:05, archived)
# Nice.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 4:02, archived)
# if you remind people that marriage laws are just extensions of property agreements...
...they'll get annoyed and nail you to a stick too.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 4:05, archived)
# I once had a friend who went a bit mental after a rough relationship, and ended up going crazy religious to the extent where she would talk to god.
I asked her to ask him some questions for me. The responses managed to get passages from the bible, which god had supposedly said himself, wrong.

She didn't see this as 'questioning' her faith though.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:45, archived)
# i was in a band with a guy who did a similar thing.
he rewrote the lyrics of our songs to be jesus-fondling pap. they were all shit songs anyway so it didn't matter, but they were suddenly more wonderful that magic gold to him at that point.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:49, archived)
# I find that if anyone is "deeply religious" they have no fucking idea what the bible has in it.
Just nod and call them twats. They deserve it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:50, archived)
# Short bus!
*licks windows*
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:01, archived)
# i rode the shortbus in High School :D



...this was not it.
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:34, archived)
# ....*purchases*
(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:44, archived)
# may i be the first to say
1.21 giggawatts????
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:03, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:04, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:19, archived)
# arf!
(Super Jet Shoes, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:21, archived)
# hehehehe
super
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:32, archived)
# and on that electrifying bombshell, goodnight!
got to be at work in 7 hours.
(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:04, archived)
# giga twats
be accurate if you want to invoke SCIENECE
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:05, archived)
# Jigga!
It's jigga, goddamnit!
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:06, archived)
# zigg-a-zigg-ah watts
please try to keep up
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:08, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:12, archived)
# The day that Sporty Spice was voted head of the International Body of Weights and Measures was the day the music died.
Four zig-a-zig-ahhs to the pound? Sixteen four bar harmonies in an imperial pint?

The woman's insane.

HP bidet.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:13, archived)
# DAMN YOU MELANIE CHISHOLM!
DAMN YOU TO HELL!
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:16, archived)
# The only thing she got right was three Melanie Blatt lips to the ounce.
The whole "seven tubs of Shippams paste per seven tubs of Shippams paste" was her darkest hour.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:20, archived)
# happy day to you.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:49, archived)
# wants!! :D
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:05, archived)
# I've been dancing so hard that my big toes are bleeding :D and :(
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:20, archived)
# That's what you get for wearing high heels.
Try flats next time.

Or a bunglow if you have access.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:24, archived)
# It's what I get for wearing shoes slighty too small for me.
I do love stilletos though.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:28, archived)
# I wear shoes which are constantly too small for me.
They are basically the only pair of shoes I own, bar a pair of black leather shoes I only use for vaguely formal wear, and I've had them for god knows how long. They are say they are a size 6. I have size 9 feet.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:30, archived)
# Mine are 13s and I need 14s really.
I'm going to sleep now. BRAP.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:32, archived)
# Son?
(I helped save b3ta! wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:22, archived)
# tehe :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:40, archived)
# Fucking hell. It's Fred Titmus!
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:23, archived)
# i have actualy seen a veedub van done like this for real
noice
(I helped save b3ta! amoebaboy chose for death by unga bunga on, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:25, archived)
# nice shoppage!
(I helped save b3ta! Bloop Fri 16 Jul, 22:10, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:39, archived)
# hey bigot! we prefer to be called 'microhumans'!
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:46, archived)
# Fuck you, shorty!
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:50, archived)
# *climbs ladder, bites ankle*
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 1:51, archived)
# Haha, vehy funny, haha. Haha, vehy funny Indy.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:03, archived)
# i'm actually kind of phobic regarding short people.
anyone shorter than 150cm or so can creep me out.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 2:11, archived)
# I has ridden in almost such a Tiny VW Bus
very much prone to wheelie (sp?), and turning very quickly on the freeway is not really fun...
(I helped save b3ta! tubaman, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 3:47, archived)
# tj
anyone seen any good movies recently ? i'm bored
(I helped save b3ta! connor, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 3:55, archived)
# i will whore this out yet again:
KOMODO VERSUS COBRA!

or, for a film i actually have seen, how about happiness?
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 4:09, archived)
# wow. i reckon komodo wins
i think i have seen a bit of happiness before. but its the kind of film i like so i shall see if i can find it.
(I helped save b3ta! connor, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 4:19, archived)
# it has some brilliant scenes (happiness, i mean).
k vs c looks like fun.
(I helped save b3ta! postbear has metal knees, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 4:24, archived)