Last nightI found a tramp sheltering in my garden from the rain, he was huddled under the big tree at the back, by the compost bins.
In such weather, I wasn't going to turf him out, instead I made him a hot cup-a-soup (chicken) and took it out to him. His big, bushy beard was all a quiver as I approached, he was expecting the worst.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered it was former US secretary for State Madeleine Albright! And so grateful was she for the hot soup that she tugged at the rope round her middle until her dirty great coat fell open revealing her huge saggy tits and grey, half-prolapsed minge.
She fell to her knees and immediately began fellating me with fantastic gusto and I quickly shot my gunge down her greedy throat.
Afterwards, waves of disgust washed over me and as I looked down at her smiling face. I became enraged and pierced her rib cage with a garden fork. I then used my hedgetrimmer to chop her into bits and chucked her into the compost bins, cracking one off with my gore spattered hand for good measure.
(In such weather, I wasn't going to turf him out, instead I made him a hot cup-a-soup (chicken) and took it out to him. His big, bushy beard was all a quiver as I approached, he was expecting the worst.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered it was former US secretary for State Madeleine Albright! And so grateful was she for the hot soup that she tugged at the rope round her middle until her dirty great coat fell open revealing her huge saggy tits and grey, half-prolapsed minge.
She fell to her knees and immediately began fellating me with fantastic gusto and I quickly shot my gunge down her greedy throat.
Afterwards, waves of disgust washed over me and as I looked down at her smiling face. I became enraged and pierced her rib cage with a garden fork. I then used my hedgetrimmer to chop her into bits and chucked her into the compost bins, cracking one off with my gore spattered hand for good measure.
Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole,
Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:21,
archived)
I think JPG should issue you one of his special certificates for that... Barbarossa is not my real name,
Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:24,
archived)
Mr Box, you never fail to delight mewith these charming tales of your adventurous escapades. Long may you continue to do so!
(
RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing,
Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:24,
archived)
That's the best thing I've read in ages. Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous,
Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:24,
archived)
I actually became quite arousedwriting this one.
( Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole,
Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:28,
archived)
I hereby award this medal to Wasp Box, for persistently humourous and mildly disturbing stories in the face of twattery.
k3b/-\b Peace man.,
Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:28,
archived)
Thank youI'd like to thank Madeleine Albright, my mother, God, my fluffer and my dead dog's dad.
( Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole,
Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:30,
archived)