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# I LIVE IN THE UK AND I CAN NOT SLEEP
AND I SMELL LIKE ONIONS TODAY
IT IS FAR TOO HOT IN HERE, MY BRAIN HURTS, MY TOOTH BROKE IN HALF AND MY LEGS AREN'T DOING WHAT I TELL THEM TO :(
also i smiled at a girl in tescos and she smiled back :)
i'm tired and i bought a cheese cake
I lay in bed and my brain keeps pumping and when i close my eyes it gets lighter instead of darker and i can't sleep
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:02, archived)
# You're a tortured soul.
Have you considered forming a shit band?
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:03, archived)
# I have no rhythm
nor the ability to play any other instrument but the triangle and that log that went TICK TOCK TICK TOCK like that when u hit either end
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:04, archived)
# I nearly made
an electric triangle.
We could have been famous.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:12, archived)
# and my image is on the popular page - yay
but not the frontpage? wah :(
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:03, archived)
# there's a front page?
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:04, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/thefrontpage
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:06, archived)
# *bookmarks*
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:10, archived)
# ARGHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
BastardBastardBastardBastardBastardBastard
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:20, archived)
# what?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:24, archived)
# I HOPE YOU HAVE BOOKMARKED THIS HELPFUL RESOURCE FOR FUTURE REFERENCE
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:25, archived)
# I'M COLD AND THERE ARE WOLVES AFTER ME
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:04, archived)
# wolves are great :)
*passes you a blanket*
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:05, archived)
# *gets snuggly in blankets*
wolves are not great when you dream about one blowing you away with an uzi.
no, really.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:06, archived)
# are they liqcorish (i can't spell) bullets?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:07, archived)
# no, they're not liquorice bullets
they are the hurty, death-dealing type
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:08, archived)
# surely you are bullet proof like all super heroesses?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:09, archived)
# of course
but, unlike normal mortals, my super-powers don't work in my dreams.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:10, archived)
# have you tried sleeping wrapped in tin foil?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:13, archived)
# yes.
it makes you very sweaty.
that's the last time i drop an e before bed. i thought i was an oven ready turkey.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:16, archived)
# That's torn it
now I won't be able to sleep.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:30, archived)
# *self-bastes*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:31, archived)
# You're not
being very helpful.

*imagines debasting scene*


(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:45, archived)
# helpful, eh?
check out my juicy thighs and tender breast meats...
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:48, archived)
# GIBLETS!

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Long ads need comments sections, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:51, archived)
# not on a first date
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:54, archived)
# I keep dreaming about zombies. It's getting tiresome.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:09, archived)
# i love dreaming about zombies
it's like getting to watch a brand-new zombie film that no-one else will ever see!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:11, archived)
# There's always some sort of apocalypse, followed by being chanced by the army, or some guys with fucking guns and then zombies. AND I ALWAYS END UP FUCKING STUCK IN A FUCKING DEAD END.
Bastards outsmart me every time.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:12, archived)
# i've only been eaten once in my zombie dreams
in the park down the road. i don't know why zombies would go there, it's a shit park.
however, most of my furniture is flatpack so, if we ever are invaded by zombies, i can have my cabinets dismantled and my windows and doors boarded up in 5 minutes,
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:15, archived)
# i can't remember the last dream i had
i think it was in 2005 when i dreamt i was falling and i fell out of bed and bashed my head or the time in 1999 when i dreamt the same dream over and over for months on end, that was scary (i can't remember the dream but there was a shadow / girl / electricity and glass) i do not like glass or electiricity and it does not like me
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:12, archived)
# Not a big dreamer then?
I find I dream more with irregular sleep patterns and after a beer or two.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:13, archived)
# i day dream alot
mostly about ladies bottoms and chocolate and cake mostly
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:15, archived)
# you are probably a deep sleeper, then
i dream almost every night, it's great
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:17, archived)
# i have 4 alarm clocks i sleep through
i ended up getting an alarm clock designed to wake deaf people, it shakes the bed but i'm starting to sleep through that too :(
(when my body actually feels the need to sleep)
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:22, archived)
# i'm often a light sleeper
which is why i dream a lot and have a snore that shakes buildings. i've suffered from insomnia for years, i find that camomile tea with a spoonful of honey is very helpful.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:26, archived)
# IT ALL STARTED IN NINETEEN DICKEDDY-SIX. WE HAD TO CALL IT DICKEDDY BACK THEN AS THE GERMANS STOLE OUR WORD FOR THIRTY.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:08, archived)
# those bastards!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:08, archived)
# I WORE AN ONION TIED TO MY BELT, WHICH WAS THE STYLE BACK THEN
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:09, archived)
# My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:11, archived)
# I AM THE LINDBERG BABY!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 3:12, archived)
# Why do you smell of onions?
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Shlvng, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 4:24, archived)